What are the the benefits and cons of of unmarried parenting?

I've been through both....and I prefer married parenting to unmarried parenting.





My pregnancy with my son was unplanned and I was unmarried. However, I was with my partner for one year at the time of our pregnancy. We were unmarried and because he decided to take off and not want the baby, I was left alone. Single and in graduate school. Talk about HARD times.





Then, I met my now-husband when my son was 13 months old. He is the most loving, wonderful and caring man...accepted my son without any hesitations from day one and is my son's father, period. (My ex NEVER stepped up to the plate...and my son is 6 years old) But, co-parenting is a true joy. Why would anyone not want to be married to the father of their children?? I wholeheartedly agree with married parenting.





Posters who say ';It's only a piece of paper'; obviously are not married and don't feel strongly about a commitment between the parents.





Boyfriend/girlfriend parenting doesn't fly. The boyfriend has no ties and why bother getting married?? He's already got the sex and family for free. What are the the benefits and cons of of unmarried parenting?
To me there is no difference. A piece of paper saying Im legally wed to my other half doesn't affect my parenting of my child. It doesn't affect school enrollment, doctors visits or having food on the table. I do acknowledge that it makes a big difference to how people feel about bringing a child into the world though, it just doesn't to me.What are the the benefits and cons of of unmarried parenting?
as far as the way the child is parented, I would say generally there is no difference. But it isn't sending a good message to the child about morality.
me and my BF are parents to a 15mos old girl. we have been together 3yrs. living together 2yrs. i dont feel that a piece of paper, and me changing my surname would make us better parents.
None what so ever, A child doesn't care if its parents are Married or single those parents are just as good as any in my view.

Have you found parenting to be educational?

The older my daughter gets, the more I see how much Dad %26amp; my older brother loved and protected me.





You see the world from a completely different perspective, when your child is venturing out into it, more and more independantly.Have you found parenting to be educational?
Oh my yes. And I can't believe how much my kids have taught me about myself, a lot of it things I'd rather not have known.But I've also learned creativity, the real meaning of love, and how the whole world is a different place when you have children in it.

How did/does parenting affect your daily life?

This can be in any way, shape, or form =]How did/does parenting affect your daily life?
It doesn't affect my life, It IS my life. Before kids, you can go wherever, do whatever you want. After kids, everything has to be planned. But it's well worth it.How did/does parenting affect your daily life?
That's a funny question. It simply changed everything.





My daily life after becoming a parent (stay-at-home mom, focused on kid-related things for the vast majority of the day) has virtually nothing in common with my life before having kids (attorney who used what little leisure time I had for things like reading books of the non Goodnight Moon variety and going for hikes that it will be years before I can attempt with my kids).





Oh yeah, and I used to take more than 5 minute showers, get more sleep, eat my own lunch without sharing it with whatever kid suddenly decided it looked delicious, and use the bathroom whenever I felt like it. (And I used to be nowhere near as happy).
It affects me sometimes when I have a long day and I don't want to go home and I want to keep riding but I know I have to go home and do my job as a parent. It affects me when I am having a long day and I don't want to do my job and I just want to relax. Overall being a parent is a blessing and lesson. It is amazing how smart kids are and how fast they grow up. My son and have a great relationship and he knows when I am having a good day and a bad day and on my bad days he doesn't bother me with clueless question or nag me about simple things, he just waits until my good day and wears me out.
There is a whole lot more meaning to my life with my daughter and now I'm more responsible, cautious and more patient than I used to be. I never knew how much I could love someone until I had her. I also used to be able to go to the bathroom, take a shower, paint my toenails, and eat without having someone else join me.
I'm alot more cautious about things now. I find myself constantly making sure that any furniture or food I buy is age appropriate for my son. Other than that me and my husband buy alot healthier food than we used to and we have more planned meals.


I also don't get as much private free time, but that doesn't bother me too much. I find myself looking forward to my son waking up in the morning or from his nap, just to see what he will say or do next. He makes life more rewarding.
I'm more of a planner than I used to. Which is good because it helped me become more efficient with my time and money. I had to plan out even as far as when I would take my own restroom breaks during a day of running errands because some places would be easier to take the baby with me than others. I plan more for the future. I understand who what I do/say now affects more than just me in the future.
It made me stronger and think of others instead of alway myself


I learned to make sacrifices so my son could have something he needed


I was always tired by the end of the night after working afternoon shift at the Hospital but tucking him and giving his sweet face a kiss goodnight erased all the stress


there were at times I wished I could have deep frozen him and thaw him out when I was ready


didnt work


he grew up anyway
It actually made it more unpredictable and I wasn't on my own schedule. I am less selfish now.


I have 3 kids under 5 years old they get sick, get hungry, have to go to the bathroom at the awkwardest times. Otherwise I love it, they are funny and love me more than anyone probably ever will.
It affects my daily life in every way, shape AND form! There isn't anything that being a mother doesn't affect, from the way I think, to my actions... everything is about her.
It doesn't it makes me a more organised person who appreciates every minute of the day... i wish there were more hours in the day though ..

Do you think people should be required to obtain a parenting license prior to having children?

I do because no precious child needs some pervert, abuser, or financially unstable person to be parenting them. If you think this is like the ';morality police';, guess what? Some idiots are so stupid and disgusting that they need to be policed morally. CHILD ABUSE IS MY BUSINESS, and should be everyone's business. If people can't take care of their children properly, they do not deserve to have them. That's my belief and I'm stickin to it.Do you think people should be required to obtain a parenting license prior to having children?
Yes, Yes, Yes, I have said this many times before.





I have to have a license to drive, to own a gun, to get married, yet people are just allowed to pop out as many as they want and when they harm them, they get a slap on the wristDo you think people should be required to obtain a parenting license prior to having children?
We license all sorts of behavior and things in this country. Licensing parents is something I advocated in college (many years ago). I still think it's a good idea.
i agree with you. i am also in the business of children, some with disabilities directly caused by the mother during pregnancy.





babies that are born with addictions to drugs or alcohol, the mothers should be arrested and charges pressed for child abuse. the perfect scenario would be to get to them before it happens. that would be all the better, and you have to start somewhere!
I agree, but that would mean birth control. We know who would not like that, don't we.
Man what a great question! Honestly...I do. Let's see some responsibility and test 'em on that as well as a myriad of other things like manner, respect for other people, their property and the law.


However...this now opens up the doors of Civil Liberties. The right to vote. The right to bear arms. The right to free speech and the right to be stupid, careless and irresponsible.


What would the penalties be for violaters? How would you enforce this? I love the idea but what are you going to do with the unborn child? Let Mom have it and ship it to a state run adoption factory? If so...it kinda smacks of Nazisim. I can see a large obstacle to overcome there. Ah...and then...there's the Church. The Big One. But I'm sure the Mormon's, the Hebrews, the Baptists and everyone else would have something to say as well.


No. Great idea if it could be pulled off Annie. But lets face it. It takes no college degree to get laid. Although I did get one under the impression that it would help me to...I was in error.





So we're stuck with hillbilles, trash and irresponsible people in general who mingle amongst us responsible and law abiding (except for that red light you squeeze through or stop sign you blow when no one's looking...in a marked car) citizens.





If you can work out some of the kinks let me know.





Good question though. Thought provoking with no simple answer. Hey! That's life isn't it?
No, it is against the Constitution and the Bill of Right.





Even in your Utopia, where a person gets a ';parenting liscence'; does that make he or she really anymore qualified to be a parent? Just because a person has learned certain skills for a test and pass it, does not mean that they really know, understand or can apply the materials they learn...it just means they have good rote memorization for a short-term test.





What would happen to the children that were born to parents without a ';Parenting License';? Where would they go? Who would care for them? Most likely, they would be institutionalized like kids in orphanages in Romania and Russia.





Bigger question who would love them? Kids that have been adopted from some foreign countries that lived in institutions since birth have no real attachments to any people and that creates sociopathic personalties (some kids have had to been un-adopted and turned over to the State when they proved to harmful to other children or the adults in the household).





I do agree that people should not have kids unless they want them and ready to take care of them both financially and emotionally and that there needs to be better education in schools that teach life skills and parenting skills...kids may never need algebra, but a vast majority will become parents or at least have to hold a job...they need those skills to make it in this world. I know this a hotbed of controversy with many parents as they see it as being the parent's job in teaching those skills, but the bottom line is many parents AREN'T and too busy and wrapped up in their own lives to be a good parent.
I can agree their are plenty out there that shouldn't have kids, but I DO NOT believe there should be any license. Financial unstability?? What would you do to all the kids that grew up during the depression? Take them away? Financial stability is not promised in this country, and not illegal. You think only the rich should have kids or something???


However, perversion and abuse are illegal and there are channels to report that.


Moral police? Who will decide what is and isn't moral? You? Not in my country sister, it's the adults in this house that decide what is right or wrong, you will never. That's a promise.


I fully agree that an abused, or child in danger, needs to be removed from that situation immediately.


But I'll be damned if I'll let you or anyone else regulate or dictate exactly how I should raise my children.





BTW - How many licensed drivers are bad drivers? You think a parent license would be any different?
This would be great if there was some way to make it law but there isn't. But the crimes people commit on their children is horrible and something does need to be done.
I think it would be freaking awesome, but then....You know, big brother has no business.
would be nice, but if it worked out anything like licensing at the DMV..... lost cause
No felonies, good jobs, two parent home, no sex crimes, a clean house or nice apartment.
Not possible. The courts have ruled repeatedly that laws restricting ';reproductive rights'; are unconstitutional.
True that some people do not deserve to have children but there is nothing that can be done in preventing it, if they want to have sex we can't stop them, and sex results in pregnancy. it is a natural thing, that should not be messed with
You could push for such a law. Of course you'd have to toss out the US Constitution first.
what do you propose we do with the children of those unlicensed folks who have sex?
Ok. I hope you have kids yourself. You know what? maybe some people do not deserve to have children but people I grew up with that were some of the laziest people thet did bad in school and I never thought would be good parents have turned out to be some of the best. Having kids in most cases changes the way people think. And until you actually have kids you could not understand it. People want to do better and give their kids everything in the world. So a license no but I think that maybe in high school there should be some required classes besides health class to help you realize what having a baby means to you. And are there studies that show people who take parenting classes do much better than anyone else??

How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?

So, I am taking child development and school and we are learning all about that. Part comes from the enviorment(everything surrounding them, including the size and emotions) and the people around them. From the moment they are born there brains need to be stimulated, so the neurons can connect. This is done, by reading to them, talking to them, just very simple things like, but sitting there and having them watching blue's clues is not the same, because that is not one on one. it has to be one on one. Then there is the enviorment. the child needs to have space to explore and move around; if s/he is isolated, then that will also have a huge impact on there development. child development is most importent in the first 5 years of life. they will develop in 5 ways: emotionally, socially, morally, intellectally, and physicallly. Role playing (like playing school or house) allows them to groww emotionally and is really good for them, believe it or not. Around age for the social development becomes very important. around this age they should start playing with other children, not just around them. they should be learning the concepts of sharing and taking turns, and things of that nature. Moral development come mostly from the people around them. they learn from example and from you telling them no and why it is wrong, and then when they do it right(for instance, if your at a store and he puts something in his pocket, you simply say, no that's not ours, if you want you have to pay for, you can't just take. then later in the store, if he asks you to buy something, this shows that is starting to understand and he should be praised in some form) praise them. Physically. From when they are newborns to when they are 5, they will constanly be developing physically. when they are young, they should always sleep on their back, but when they are awake, you should keep them on their stomaches, so that they can learn to hold their head up and stregthen other muscles in their bodies. As they get other crawling and doing things with their finger, such as drawing or finger paints, will develop their motor skills. Finally, intellectally. this is probably the most important. these skills are very simple, and will help prepare them for there futures. they gain these skills from puzzles, book, games, block, very simple little things that allow them to imagine and create. development is diffferent for all child, but it follows a general path and is sequecel. they will crawl, before they walk, say words before sentaces, and so on. Development is all about stimulating the brain and allowing it to grow, so let them be dirty, let them be creative, they will thank you one day.How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
well, if a parent does not disipline a child well, then it's most likely that that child would grow up to be more rebelious.How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI this is how

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How does your background and up bringing effect your parenting?

I was raised by a woman who has a masters in education, specifically in child development and Ruiker's (Adlerian) philosophy which is natural consequences, she also taught parenting and worked with parents who needed to learn proper parenting techniques as mandated by the court system. She was the only one successful in our state with her program, and it was wildly successful in keeping parents with their kids, which means parents learned from her.





So, I pretty much have an expert on call and I have what I learned from her. She wasn't perfect when she was raising us, no one is, but I think her children are improving on her work. It has been terribly helpful for me, especially since we weren't around little babies or kids that much growing up since the cousins were 1,000 miles away and no nieces or nephews either. While I am a biochemist and my husband is a web developer, we benefit from expert learning that I can see not that many folks have. That doesn't mean we don't make our mistakes, there is a huge learning curve in parenting, but I think it's easier for us then most.How does your background and up bringing effect your parenting?
My parents were very different from each other (everything including parenting) so I try and stay on the same page with my husband. I was a mellow kid and really never got in trouble and my mom was anti-spanking so I went into motherhood not ever expecting to spank. When my oldest entered his late 2's and 3's, that idea got chucked out the window. I do try and expose them to a lot of different ideas, beliefs and cultures as my parents did and it was a good thing.How does your background and up bringing effect your parenting?
My parents never expected much of me and never encouraged me to focus on anything. They wanted me to get good grades, but that was it. So, I ended up with a worthless liberal arts degree. They were financially secure and always told me that I could get any job I wanted (I was ';set';) but ended up not talking to me anymore 4 years ago when they could no longer control me. Quite simply, all they wanted me to do was go to church, sit on the porch with them and gossip about the neighbors, and go out to eat. That's all the ever did and still do (to my knowledge).





I never learned how to cook or do a lot of run of the mill things. I was babied. So, from a young age, I've had my daughter learn how to take care of her own needs and figure things out for herself. I patiently teach her and encourage her, but it's her responsibility to take care of and remember her own things. She also has to do one physical activity and take a musical instrument.
I think that I am blessed to have had many different circumstances in my life, and because I am multifaceted (coined by chickenfarmer!), I am able to parent pretty open-mindedly.


Have been poor, have had wealth.


Have been happily married, and have been a single mom.


have studied many cultures and religions, am knowledgeable and accepting about them, teach my children to do the same.
My kids were raised with the same values and morals I was but parented in a very different style, probably because of the times just being different. So I believe the basic core of the person you were raised to be is passed onto your children as it's really all you know.
Single parent household: I do my best to be exactly opposite of how my mother raised us. I try to be fair and take the time to listen while being firm and consistent. I almost never raise my voice and never make threats or call my kids names.
I think your experiences play a huge role in your parenting style. I try not to do the things my parents did as far as how I treat my kids. I try to incorporate the culture and the experiences they she shared.

Just curious wondering and i want to know your parenting styles thanxxx?

1. what are the diffrent punishments you give when your children do something bad





2.what would you do if your child sneackes out of the house when she is already punished





3.did your child ever got an harsh punishment tell the routines him/her had to do and say how long





5. sate something your child has done wrong and explain what you did from then on.Just curious wondering and i want to know your parenting styles thanxxx?
Hi, thought you might like to check out http://www.the-parenting-magazine.com.





This website covers a wide range of parenting topics including child behavioral issues, child education, child safety, childcare, child development, pregnancy and even gifts and recipes for kids.





Hope you find the site helpful :)Just curious wondering and i want to know your parenting styles thanxxx?
1. Spanking, take away possessions or privileges, write an essay, grounded.


2. Probably a spanking followed by being grounded but it depends on the circumstances.


3. No.


4.


When my daughter lied about how much time she had put in practicing the piano I became much more careful about monitoring her practice time.
2 words beat them





beat them with anything chairs belts bits of wood smaller children anything