Is it too late to start using spankings?I admit it, my permissiveness produced a 10yr old brat. Is it to late to change my parenting style?
Spankings probably won't be effective on a 10 year old. Revoking privileges should do the trick - but also make sure you talk about what's going on and why she can't act the way she does. Don't let her watch TV, talk on the phone, or play with friends if she acts out.I admit it, my permissiveness produced a 10yr old brat. Is it to late to change my parenting style?
This sounds like a good plan. Whatever you do, BE CONSISTENT!! Kids won't respect or trust anything you say if you don't back it up every time. If you don't plan to follow through, don't say anything. They need that security. Check out ';Dare to Discipline'; by Dr. James Dobson it's a great book!
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I agree with talking to her about her attitude because in the real world they won't let her do what ever she wants when she gets a job. There will be athority figures telling her to do things and she will not well liked by her friends or co-workers.
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look im 13 years old and i think that spanking her is not your best choise and it would ruin your relationship with her so i think you should talk to her and tell her how you fell because taking is the best way to go
i hope that she undestands that she is wrong and that she should stop being bad k
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It's not too late to change, but know that you're going to have a really hard time as she rebels against the sudden change in boundaries. Make sure that you recruit some friends to act as your sounding board and support to keep you from giving up when the going gets tough (pick people who have well-behaved children that you admire as parents).
10 is old enough to talk to directly about the new privledges and the new responsibilities that come with ';double digits.'; Make sure you dangle carrots as well as draw the line on consequences. Let your child make choices between two options that are both agreeable/acceptable to you. Pick your battles, what's really important to you? Think before you spout off a consequence, because whatever you say you need to follow through on (eg. ';If you do that one more time, we're leaving';). If you're angry, go ahead and say, ';That was not acceptable behavior, go to your room while I decide what an appropriate punishment is.'; This allows you time to calm down (call your support team) and then respond while modelling grace, love, and calm.
Explain to her that you have been lenient with her up to now because she was a little child but, now that she has reached the age of ten, things will have to change.
She will be expected to start behaving like a young lady if she wishes to be treated with the respect that a young lady deserves. This involves her acceptance of social responsibility and consideration of others.
In other words, it's time for her to grow up and understand that life is a matter of give and take graciously. There are no alternatives.
Way too late for physical punishments (which are rarely that effective in the long run), but not too late to use her reasoning powers.
Spend some time thinking about rules which would work now and for the next several years. Think about the reason for each one.
For instance, she needs to ask permission before leaving the house and to tell you truthfully where and with whom she's going and when she will be back. Why? For her own safety, since you would not allow her to go somewhere unsafe or with anyone who's unsavory. You require this information because you have decades of experience judging the motives of other people.
When you have some rules written down, you and she should sit down together at a time when neither of you is upset and talk about the new rules, including the reason for each one. She can offer her own input, even suggest penalties for breaking them. She can suggest rules for you, and you should listen with an open mind.
Then you both agree to try these rules for one week, or one month, and to meet again to see what needs changing and why.
This can work.
10 years old is a little old to start spanking. Instead, take away privileges. Whether it's watching TV, having a cell phone, using the computer, whatever. If they're being obnoxious or acting out just simply say ';Okay if you don't stop (insert whatever behavior they're doing) then I'm taking away your cell'; if it continues, take it away. The key is to be consistent and fair. Make sure that the punishment is equal to the crime.
A swat or so on the rear won't hurt in an extreme instant....however at this point, she's above a ';time out';. It's time to start doing some long term grounding. Ground her for a few days or even a whole week or two depending on the infraction...don't let her go anywhere but school/church/anywhere the family normally goes. Don't let her watch television or talk on the phone. If that means she sits in her room, then she sits in her room. Don't permit her to talk back, don't let her get an attitude, be the boss. Before you up and change your methods...sit down and have a discussion with her about the fact that her attitude and the way she acts isn't appropriate and the rules are changing. Tell her the rules. Maybe write them down and post them where the family can see them...and be diligent about sticking to them! It'll probably be heck until she gets used to them and realizes that you are indeed the boss...but the behavior has to change before she reaches her teenage years and gets even more rebellious and starts running wild.
It's never too late! Using different methods can work! Just follow through with what your telling her! If you send her to her room, make sure that she doesn't have thing to award her for what shes being punished for. Take away tvs, computers, ipod.. etc. Children need to learn they need to obey their parents. A lot of them these days are getting away with too much!
When I was grounded my tv, radio, computer, gameboy, everything was taken away! I would like to think that I am now a good person! I have never smoked done drugs, and I only drink on rare occasions, I never snuck out of the house... My parents also very much believed in the spanking!
no it's not too late..a change in your parenting style will take her for a spin..you need to catch this now before she turns into a rotten teenager that will give you heck! I would suggest taking away things that she values and not spoiling her. That will teach her to appreciate what she has and not be so bratty.
It's never too late. Nanny 911 on CMT is actually pretty good reference for working with older children who are used to the permissiveness. Adapt the advice on the show (they also have a book) to your lifestyle and situation.
Yes. Try reverse psychology. Remember, she WANTS to me defiant, so agree with everything she says. This is a little immature, but the silent treatment works.
Have you tried taking away priveleges like TV and computer?
And no, it's never too late. Just watch Nanny 911!
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Im sure its not too late. Persevere as a brat will find real life very difficult to cope with when she is older.
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