Friday, July 30, 2010

Has a movie ever made you think differently about parenting?

For example- did seeing Taken make you more protective?Has a movie ever made you think differently about parenting?
Step Mom.


I mean, I was a step-mom...and that movie always made me think ';Danni, you need to be compassionate towards this woman. She may be vile and cold, but she is your step-babies mom, and your husbands ex. Be kind.';


Of course, she ended up giving full custody to my husband, and I legally adopted my daughter, HOWEVER I was always kind to her even if it was through bared teeth.Has a movie ever made you think differently about parenting?
Yes.


Strangely enough, seeing movies like Taken just makes me less protective and reinforces my determination to let my children be children instead of shutting them in little boxes. It just reaffirms my belief that the media is turning parents into neurotic, paranoid control freaks.





Horror movies and fear-heavy movies like Taken are always popular in conservative (not necessarily politically - I'm talking about society at large's trends) upswings in society. The 50's, the 80's, and the 2000's have all seen conservative upswings, and with it a trend in horror movies and media scare tactics. It's all about control. Using pop culture to keep gullible, easily-led people frightened and in line and doing what they're ';supposed to.';





The result is the average suburban mom of 2009: panicked, assuming every male on the street corner is an axe murderer WAITING to abduct and kill THEIR child, knowing that the Brownie troupe leader is actually poisoning all those cupcakes, obsessed with safety and supervision and removing any and all danger or minor inconvenience from their child's path. It's completely unrealistic and loony, but it's average now.





So I look at that movie, and all the others exactly like it, and all the reports on the news that make it sound like the case of the 1 out of every few million children that does get abducted and killed is a realistic view of life, and I laugh. Not at the misfortune of the family or the child, but how the media portrays it. It's just ridiculous to assume that EVEN if you're the most paranoid, hyper-vigilant, germ-phobic, stranger-danger, protective parent on earth; that you could EVER make the world completely safe. Because you can't. Even if you shut out most of the world like most moms try to these days, you can't.





On the off chance that something really is out to get your kid, sorry to say it, but it's probably going to happen whether you refuse to let your precious baby ride the city bus until he's 30 or not. On the other hand, letting them learn common sense, street smarts and how to take care of themselves and do things on their own might save them. Resourcefulness, sense, guts, and independence are more protection than all the knee pads, obsessive calls home every 10 minutes, and GPS trackers can ever provide.
I am HORRIBLE with names but the 1 that came out 6-12 months ago with Angelina Jolie, based on a true story. Changling, maybe? That 1 made me even more paranoid. I already have nightmares about my oldest being kidnapped. There are many but this was the 1st that came to mind.
American Beauty.





';How's Janey? is she happy?';





It's not all about what his grades are, if his clothes look good and if I bought him what he needs. I want to know he's happy too - and what I can do to change it, if he isn't.
Parenthood- honestly i don't know why my ovaries didn't just shrivel up and die after watching that movie!

Are there any good books for Dads about general parenting?

As a mother, I am always reading about parenting. My husband has been feeling a little guilty about not learing about parenting as much as me, and wants a good book for Dads. Anyone know of any that are full of practical information about raising children. yet based on good sound psychology and child development?Are there any good books for Dads about general parenting?
';Boys will put you on a pedestal: so they can look up your skirt'; by philip Van Munching.





a good book for dads and their daughters. it is everyday practical advice.Are there any good books for Dads about general parenting?
Any parenting book that works for moms would also work for dads. Dads are parents, too.





One of my favorites is 'Parenting with Love and Logic'

Does the Parenting immunity idol protect me from violations?

How do I know if I have the real one?Does the Parenting immunity idol protect me from violations?
Someone besides me has it.......are you sure there is a real one? Maybe they have created Troll Idols that we haven't caught on to.





**crap, I slept with the tech, not the PC. Silly me. Geez, I hate to shower for another fake one.Does the Parenting immunity idol protect me from violations?
No. You have to sleep with the automated computer that removes questions and answers without sending them to real people to read. Computers gotta get their's too :) LOL
Lick it. Does it taste like cheese? If so, it's the real one.





The fake one smells like cedar. Yamster thinks its funny.
ill protect you mozz. i can deflect those violations with my arms (i have those flappy things that hang down) so ill be a big shield for you! back violations back!
If you don't receive any violations, then you know you have the real one :)

I admit it, my permissiveness produced a 10yr old brat. Is it to late to change my parenting style?

Obviously time out and sending her to her room hasn't worked.


Is it too late to start using spankings?I admit it, my permissiveness produced a 10yr old brat. Is it to late to change my parenting style?
Spankings probably won't be effective on a 10 year old. Revoking privileges should do the trick - but also make sure you talk about what's going on and why she can't act the way she does. Don't let her watch TV, talk on the phone, or play with friends if she acts out.I admit it, my permissiveness produced a 10yr old brat. Is it to late to change my parenting style?
This sounds like a good plan. Whatever you do, BE CONSISTENT!! Kids won't respect or trust anything you say if you don't back it up every time. If you don't plan to follow through, don't say anything. They need that security. Check out ';Dare to Discipline'; by Dr. James Dobson it's a great book!

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I agree with talking to her about her attitude because in the real world they won't let her do what ever she wants when she gets a job. There will be athority figures telling her to do things and she will not well liked by her friends or co-workers.

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look im 13 years old and i think that spanking her is not your best choise and it would ruin your relationship with her so i think you should talk to her and tell her how you fell because taking is the best way to go


i hope that she undestands that she is wrong and that she should stop being bad k

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It's not too late to change, but know that you're going to have a really hard time as she rebels against the sudden change in boundaries. Make sure that you recruit some friends to act as your sounding board and support to keep you from giving up when the going gets tough (pick people who have well-behaved children that you admire as parents).


10 is old enough to talk to directly about the new privledges and the new responsibilities that come with ';double digits.'; Make sure you dangle carrots as well as draw the line on consequences. Let your child make choices between two options that are both agreeable/acceptable to you. Pick your battles, what's really important to you? Think before you spout off a consequence, because whatever you say you need to follow through on (eg. ';If you do that one more time, we're leaving';). If you're angry, go ahead and say, ';That was not acceptable behavior, go to your room while I decide what an appropriate punishment is.'; This allows you time to calm down (call your support team) and then respond while modelling grace, love, and calm.
Explain to her that you have been lenient with her up to now because she was a little child but, now that she has reached the age of ten, things will have to change.





She will be expected to start behaving like a young lady if she wishes to be treated with the respect that a young lady deserves. This involves her acceptance of social responsibility and consideration of others.





In other words, it's time for her to grow up and understand that life is a matter of give and take graciously. There are no alternatives.
Way too late for physical punishments (which are rarely that effective in the long run), but not too late to use her reasoning powers.





Spend some time thinking about rules which would work now and for the next several years. Think about the reason for each one.





For instance, she needs to ask permission before leaving the house and to tell you truthfully where and with whom she's going and when she will be back. Why? For her own safety, since you would not allow her to go somewhere unsafe or with anyone who's unsavory. You require this information because you have decades of experience judging the motives of other people.





When you have some rules written down, you and she should sit down together at a time when neither of you is upset and talk about the new rules, including the reason for each one. She can offer her own input, even suggest penalties for breaking them. She can suggest rules for you, and you should listen with an open mind.





Then you both agree to try these rules for one week, or one month, and to meet again to see what needs changing and why.





This can work.
10 years old is a little old to start spanking. Instead, take away privileges. Whether it's watching TV, having a cell phone, using the computer, whatever. If they're being obnoxious or acting out just simply say ';Okay if you don't stop (insert whatever behavior they're doing) then I'm taking away your cell'; if it continues, take it away. The key is to be consistent and fair. Make sure that the punishment is equal to the crime.
A swat or so on the rear won't hurt in an extreme instant....however at this point, she's above a ';time out';. It's time to start doing some long term grounding. Ground her for a few days or even a whole week or two depending on the infraction...don't let her go anywhere but school/church/anywhere the family normally goes. Don't let her watch television or talk on the phone. If that means she sits in her room, then she sits in her room. Don't permit her to talk back, don't let her get an attitude, be the boss. Before you up and change your methods...sit down and have a discussion with her about the fact that her attitude and the way she acts isn't appropriate and the rules are changing. Tell her the rules. Maybe write them down and post them where the family can see them...and be diligent about sticking to them! It'll probably be heck until she gets used to them and realizes that you are indeed the boss...but the behavior has to change before she reaches her teenage years and gets even more rebellious and starts running wild.
It's never too late! Using different methods can work! Just follow through with what your telling her! If you send her to her room, make sure that she doesn't have thing to award her for what shes being punished for. Take away tvs, computers, ipod.. etc. Children need to learn they need to obey their parents. A lot of them these days are getting away with too much!





When I was grounded my tv, radio, computer, gameboy, everything was taken away! I would like to think that I am now a good person! I have never smoked done drugs, and I only drink on rare occasions, I never snuck out of the house... My parents also very much believed in the spanking!
no it's not too late..a change in your parenting style will take her for a spin..you need to catch this now before she turns into a rotten teenager that will give you heck! I would suggest taking away things that she values and not spoiling her. That will teach her to appreciate what she has and not be so bratty.
It's never too late. Nanny 911 on CMT is actually pretty good reference for working with older children who are used to the permissiveness. Adapt the advice on the show (they also have a book) to your lifestyle and situation.
Yes. Try reverse psychology. Remember, she WANTS to me defiant, so agree with everything she says. This is a little immature, but the silent treatment works.
Have you tried taking away priveleges like TV and computer?





And no, it's never too late. Just watch Nanny 911!





=)
Im sure its not too late. Persevere as a brat will find real life very difficult to cope with when she is older.
  • clinique
  • What can I do if my ex isn't complying with all the stipulations in our parenting plan?

    The fact that I live out of state does complicate the matter, however she refuses to comply with other portions of our agreement. She never lets me have him on Christmas, and refuses to let me claim him on my taxes every other year, and constantly wants more money in support from me even though the court denied her request. What can I do if my ex isn't complying with all the stipulations in our parenting plan?
    Take her back to court. And don't give her any more money than what the court mandated.What can I do if my ex isn't complying with all the stipulations in our parenting plan?
    1. ';Wanting'; money is not a violation. Feel free to say no.


    2. You don't need her permission to claim him on the tax return. Just do it and if you are audited show the order to the auditor.


    3. I don't know what you mean when you say she refuses to let you have him on Christmas. If she is in violation of the order you can ask the court to hold her in contempt. If she is just not making it easy, or not paying for transportation or something like that, there is no violation.
    It may be cheaper for you to ask your attorney to write her a letter requesting specific dates of visitation for the upcoming year.. It will hopefully intimidate her enough if it comes from your lawyer's office. They do that for people.





    You are well within your bounds to bring her back to court, but holy moly. If you can avoid it, more power to you!

    Whats the best advice you ever received when parenting your newborn?

    I am just a couple weeks away (or less :)) from meeting my first born child ...and just looking for some good advice that would be helpful to a new mommy....I am having a boy and from the looks of it (as he is weighing in already at 8lbs) he is going to be a big healthy baby!!! We are very excited!Whats the best advice you ever received when parenting your newborn?
    Take everything that everyone tells you with a grain of salt. Your baby will have his or her own way of doing everything so take the time to learn your babys ways and try bits of advice, but if it doesnt work, dont feel bad, you will find something that will work for you in time.


    (I was told how to breastfeed, how to put my baby to bed, how to burp her and she only liked a few of the things that was suggested to me)Whats the best advice you ever received when parenting your newborn?
    Listen to other's opinions and ideas, especialy from parents whom I respect and whose kids I appreciate. You will get lots of good ideas from others, but in the end ( and here is the best advice I received) YOU are the Mom. No one will know your baby like you and your husband will. In your heart of hearts, you will know what is best for your little pumpkin. Seek advice, get ideas, but don't second guess your heart!!!





    CONGRATULATIONS!





    Mom of 6
    Educate and empower yourself, so you know if unsolicited advice is good advice. Make your own decisions about your baby, and be strong enough to stick to them when others try to undermine your choice. You'll see, everyone has an opinion, and they're compelled to share it with you. There are sooooo many 'wives tales' out there that are actually bad for your baby.
    The best advice I was ever given was that of what I asked for, not unsolicted advice. Being a first time mother is hard enough than to have several ppl give their personal opion and advice when you might not necessarly want it.





    Having said that, Good Luck and remember a mother's instincts are in you.
    Take any advice you get with a grain of salt. You will hear so much different information about how to raise your child, but when it comes down to it, do what YOU feel is right! You are the momma and you know your baby better than anyone else, remember that! :)





    Good luck and congratulations!!!
    My best advice would be to trust your instincts. You will have everyone giving you advice on what worked for their baby, but you know what is best for your child. Also, whenever your baby sleeps, take a nap. It will make you a happier mama to get a little sleep.
    you know your baby best. well next is your pediatrician. and dont listen to inlaws stupid rambling about this and that, it will drive you nuts. and dont be afraid to pop out the hand sanitizer before someone touches your baby. get used to saying, support his head, and no he doesnt look exactly like his daddy...he came from me too!! haha
    Sleep when the baby sleeps; don't feel bad about turning down visitors in the early weeks; and try to get out of the house with just your husband at least once in a while. Good luck.
    Forget about keeping a spotless house, no one cares! I used to worry that I didn't get to dust, put all the dishes away, vacuum, etc...well, it all gets done sooner or later (later most of the time!).
    **have tons of patience


    **your life isn't over just because you have a baby!


    those 2 things my husband and i live by!


    congrats!


    we had a 9lb baby boy 3 months ago and he is 17 lbs now :)
    Sleep when baby sleeps and stick with breastfeeding, despite how difficult it can be in the first few weeks. People told me it got easier and it definitely did.
    Yep, sleep when your baby sleeps and take as much help as possible. Dont let to many visitors over in the beginning because you are going to be exhausted.








    Congrats and best wishes. Let us know!!
    to enjoy every single moment with him/her because later I will be missing that time!
    Sleep when your baby sleeps.

    What parenting issues are you currently dealing with right now because of your teenage child?

    Talking back, violating curfew, cussing, and trying to be the boss of the house.What parenting issues are you currently dealing with right now because of your teenage child?
    The computer is the biggest problem in m house as of right now. I want to get a youtube account and a blog site, but my parents are telling how unsafe it is and are really mad that I even asked. I understand not to put picture and stuff of me on there, but other than that I'm lost.What parenting issues are you currently dealing with right now because of your teenage child?
    talking back.

    How well known are you on the parenting section?

    How well known are you





    Rules: Star me if you know me


    Thumps up if you know someone and thumbs down if you don't





    The person with most thumbs up will be best answer!





    PQ: How old were your kids when you let them play outside by themselves with you just watching out the window?How well known are you on the parenting section?
    EEEEK, I havent been on lately. We'll see.How well known are you on the parenting section?
    Oh yeah I'm well known.





    I'm the local scape goat :) LOL





    Seriously though? I'm not sure how well known I am but I recognize a lot of people on the Parenting board.





    PQ- My kids aren't at that age yet as they are 3 and 1 year old.
    Ha, I don't think many people know who I am, because I've changed my user name and picture........... :)





    My son *ahem*johnny*ahem* is 20 months - still too young to play outside by himself.
    I've limited my time on here plus losing my TC badge so we'll see if people recognize the toes.








    My daughter is still too young to be outside by herself (she's 3) and my son is only 6 months so no way on that!
    Hmmmm.......





    PQ: not yet. Eli is 21-months right now. I'm lucky if I can let him outside for 5 seconds even when I'm out there with him!!!!
    Not yet- he's only 15 months old.





    I am not really known though. I had my old account suspended and I don't come on as much.
    Hello...my son is only 22 months old so we are not at the stage where he can play outside with me only watching through the window.
    My kids are only 19 months and 3 years and still too young to play outside by themselves.
    About 4 years old.
    shes still too young for me to even consider that
    I'm ALWAYS LATE for these - Every time!





    PQ - We're not there yet
    I have been here a while, about 10 months (in this section), I JUST recently changed my name, it was Hardcore_Mom. I've lost my TC badge due to not being on here for about a month because of internet loss. Currently trying to regain it!





    My son was about 3, but I didn't do it much at all, I also only had this happen when I would run inside right quick to be back outside. We lived in the country and he was in the back yard.





    I just realized it says PARENTING section, I tend to hang around the pregnancy and baby names sections, BUT I think those are all included in the parenting, not sure.
    I used to be a TC... and have had 3 diff names.. this one, I ♥ my 2 girls! and Southern Mama. I got busy when my husband deployed and I got pregnant again!





    I let my girls out with the back door open cause we have a fence! I watch them though while feeding their sister.
    i dont know - i have changed my name a few times but people might still know me.. i used to be english beauty and then i was Glitter..





    i let my son play in my back garden (private fenced garden) on his own with me in the back room (living room) when he was 3 yrs old...
    my sons are 29 months and 7 months, i havnt let either of them play outside by themselves without my supervision.





    Dont think i'm very well known here. Dont ushually get alot of answers to my Questions :(
    I can only let my daughter (4.5) if she is with an adult that is outside somewhere too. (Like my fiancee watering things while she is on the swings)





    I dont think I am very well known. I was on here alot more while I was pregnant.
    PQ:


    Not there yet... she hasn't came out yet... she's due August 21st!!!


    But i'd say maybe six years old???





    Don't think I'm very well known...
    Im new,so I doubt anyone knows me.





    But I let my kids play outside by themselves at age 4.


    (we live in apartments and I could see the park through the


    window)
    I was very young.
    My daughter is 4 almost 5 and I won't let her out without me.
    Not very well
    my son is still to little to be any were by himself
    Aw, I was sound asleep when you asked this and missed all the fun.


    Sharp question, though, now we'll remember you! : )

    How many and where are the attachment parenting groups in West Texas? And how do I get in contact with them?

    I'd like to have a playgroup, etc, with some like-minded mothers in the West Texas area.How many and where are the attachment parenting groups in West Texas? And how do I get in contact with them?
    MOPS in a playgroup that they have in texas and I think its world wide also. I live in abilene and they have one here in town. Meetup.com is also another one they have alot in texas. Matchingmom.com is also a good one and its all over the USA.How many and where are the attachment parenting groups in West Texas? And how do I get in contact with them?
    check out yellow pages or 118247 line or da internet

    Did you first time parents go to Parenting Classes?

    I researched a lot about how to take care of the baby, breastfeeding, nutrition, etc while my wife had no patience for a book. I recommended a parenting class so she'll know what to do. Did you or your husband go to any?Did you first time parents go to Parenting Classes?
    No, we didn't take one when I was pregnant with our daughter. For one, taking care of children is something you learn by doing. People have been taking care of children for ages and no class taught them that. I heard that they can be very informative but in my opinion I find it just as a waste of money.Did you first time parents go to Parenting Classes?
    Reading how to be a good parent and actually BEING ONE are two completely different things. No one can truly be prepared to be a parent. Some people have a natural ability because of their own healthy, happy upbringing others are exactly the opposite because of how they were raised. That is what makes the biggest difference I think.





    Other than that I think you %26amp; your partner need to talk alot about it in advance about parenting techniques, morals, values, religion, money, discipline, roles as parents, use of time, what is important to eachother, how you were each raised. A BOOK really isn't practical application and can not prepare you for the REAL DEAL because every child in your home will be different, unique and is not explainable in any BOOK!
    No..parenting classes are a joke....do not go to any of them, they teach you to the children control everything. As for the day to day care of an infant...the nurses will help your wife with breastfeeding and for the first while that is all the nutrician your baby will need, then after that...buy or make baby food of veggies and give them baby cerieal. Changing diapers are straight forward and at the hospital they will also help you with giving the baby the first bath and you will learn how to do that confidently....many other questions and concerns in the day to day care can be addressed diretly to your doctor or other parents you know.
    i am a single mother and i was a young one at that. i did not take any type of class for me like most moms i think it comes naturaly. they connect with the baby along time before it is born . i wish you luck and everythinf with your first child. but in my opinion you can read all you want but it is not the same. parenting is a trial and error thing you will learn al lot on the trip as your child grows. no kid is alike so noone can tell you how to raise your child. i think youcan do it just belive in your self.
    No, we didn't. We had the best teachers around. Our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, older cousins and anybody else who we thought did a great job raising their kids. We did buy the book down in the source block as a guideline and thought is helped a lot.
    We both went to a parenting class because it was offered at the hospital where we were going. It taught things like infant CPR and things to do in emergencies. For the basic stuff like changing, feeding, etc a class is really not necessary unless you have absolutely no idea.
    I went to several parenting classes and they were quite helpful in rearing my daughter. I would reccommend all parents attend a class, it's so much differanter than reading a book because it shows you what to do. I loved parenting classes.
    no what class really teaches u how to be a parent. u learn by actions not someone dictating their opinion on what they think makes u a good parent. i would not do it but to each parent their own so good luck.
    I have 4 children and went to not one parenting class.There is no class or book that well really ready you for parenting..every child is different.If a class makes you feel better then go for it.
    No, I didn't go. I figured it would come naturally and it did. :)
    I don't need parenting classes. I'm Tex. I'm the best mother ever. I hate my kids, I want to run away from my life and I'm always right!!!!!
  • clinique
  • Parenting section, why does it take so long for sick questions to be deleted?

    I am shocked someone posted a disgusting question about an hour ago and it has been reported so many times yet is still here, people post serious questions or funny ones that people don't get and they are deleted straight away, what is going on with YA???Parenting section, why does it take so long for sick questions to be deleted?
    I think I know which one you are talking about.





    Not sure, YA is slacking lately. I reported it also.





    If I see those kinds of things, I usually just report and move on. Don't even bother answering, it just fuels the Trolls fire even more. Trolls like to get people riled up.Parenting section, why does it take so long for sick questions to be deleted?
    I agree!

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    It shouldn't take long to get them off. It was set up so that if anyone got 2 reports, the question or answer was automatically deleted.





    I wish I could report IP addresses and have them blocked so some of the idiots wouldn't be able to create several accounts and post the same questions over and over.
    I know the one you mean. I reported it also. There had been at least 10 or 12 other people that had reported it when I answered it. I wonder what the heck is going on.
    i know which one you are talking about, he asked 2 really disgusting questions that i know of and i reported them both.
    Are you referring to the ';Should I rape my oldest daughter'; question? I just Reported that one...I hope to God it is gone soon! That is VILE to even joke about!
    the hamster feel asleep in the wheel

    How could I get talk to yahoo answers about possibly adding a section to the parenting and pregnancy section.?

    I would like to talk to yahoo answers to see if there was a way to possibly get a section for the am I pregnant or could I be pregnant questions.How could I get talk to yahoo answers about possibly adding a section to the parenting and pregnancy section.?
    You should post it in the suggestion forum. Click on the 'tell us what you think' button at the bottom of the page(its in small letters) or follow the link here. There are yahoo employees here who look over all suggestions and concerns(although it seems like they haven't been around as much lately).





    http://suggestions.yahoo.com/?prop=answe鈥?/a>How could I get talk to yahoo answers about possibly adding a section to the parenting and pregnancy section.?
    you cannot contact anyone from yahoo, it is an ad based marketing site. only if you want to place an ad and give them money, will they talk to you.
    It would certainly cut down on seeing thsoe questions everywhere. Perhaps we can funnel them all into ';bullfighting';

    Want to go hang out in the Parenting section and see how screwed mankind really is?

    I don't know whether to laugh or cry.Want to go hang out in the Parenting section and see how screwed mankind really is?
    I totally would if yahoo wasn't acting so mentally challenged right now. It may have to wait for Monday.Want to go hang out in the Parenting section and see how screwed mankind really is?
    That sounds like fun?


    Can you say 'Oedipal Complex'?





    ~cries~
    i don't know about you billy but when i get old i'm going to buy a shot gun just in case
    Are they the parents of the screwed-up kids in P%26amp;S? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
    YES

    Does feminism have a negative affect on parenting?

    Apparently many working mothers are too busy these days to toilet train their children, and school teachers are ending up having to potty train 5 year olds. Obviously this is another example of women's 'liberation' resulting is a mess that someone else has got to clean up, but do you know of other examples of feminism having a negative impact on parenting?Does feminism have a negative affect on parenting?
    Yes a mess that someone else has to clean up - literally in the case of toilet training.


    Thanks to feminism children often come back to an empty home after school. With so many women having to do paid work to make ends meet I think the average home is not the nurturing environment it once was for children.


    Edit:


    To KelKel.


    Let's nail this b.s. about feminism providing choices for women to work or stay at home. By 'liberating' women from domesticity the supply of labour increased dramatically. This brought down average wages in real terms and this explains why it now takes two wage earners to meet the cost of living when previously a man's wage was sufficient. So feminism is the reason why women have to be in the workforce to make ends meet.Does feminism have a negative affect on parenting?
    You mean you really beleive people leave toddlers home alone? You two are messed up *****....

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    I don't think it's because of working mothers that children are in general are toilet trained at a later age than they were in the past. I think it has a lot more to do with disposable diapers and the convenience they offer. When I was born 50 years ago, disposable diapers didn't exist. Parents used cloth diapers and because they stayed wet and caused diaper rash, the parents were in a much bigger rush to get their children toilet trained as soon as possible. It was not at all uncommon to have girls to be fully toilet trained by the time they were two years old and boys a little later. Now, with disposable diapers, the parents can leave them on all day and not change them until the child poops. There is no real incentive to hurry and get them toilet trained. The parents can simply keep buying larger sizes until the children themselves decide they are ready to train themselves.





    I'd like to mention that working mothers are more likely to have their children toilet trained at an earlier age than stay-at-home mothers. That's because the children go to daycare and the workers there try to toilet train them as early as possible. Besides, most daycare centers will only take children over the age of two and only if they are toilet trained. The majority of them do not take infants or small children who are still in diapers so that's another incentive for working mothers to get their children toilet trained.
    That has nothing to do with feminism and has everything to do with bad planning. People shouldn't have kids they don't have the time to take care of, and parenting isn't the sole responsibility of the woman.





    I know that in the US it's common that women do the majority of the parenting, but it's not like that in many other countries (especially in Europe). Kids do better when they have both parents participating in raising them. Everyone is happier too.
    It depends.


    If the feminist woman works, it is better for the children, because they will brought up by specialists, as every woman is not the right one to bring up her children. Loving their children does not mean you can bring up them well.


    If the feminist woman is at home it is worst, the worst of all. Because she will always ask for her ';rights'; exaggerating, so there will be abnormal situation. That will affect negatively children.


    But not only this. I have seen with my own eyes mothers having one boy and one girl and favoring with scandal their daughters.
    I don't think this has to do with feminism, but it is a problem when both parents are having to work long hours, and don't give enough attention to the kid.





    It is equally the father's fault, as it is the mothers, if they are both living together.





    It just shows that BOTH of them are not willing to give up their career ambitions to give enough attention to the kid.





    How is it more mother's fault??





    If there are two parents, it is BOTH of them who are responsible for the kids upbringing.
    I don't see that it's feminism's fault that mothers have to work. Feminism provided women with the opportunity to *decide* if they would rather work or stay home and made it illegal to discriminate based on such choice.





    Gas going up to $ 4 a gallon in the US and food almost doubling in price is not the fault of feminism. Both parents usually have to work today just to make it!





    On the issue of potty training, I am training my son right now but since he goes to daycare sometimes the teachers there have to train him, too. I can't expect him to wait for me to show him what to do if he has to go at school!
    I don't know of a five year old that's not potty trained and, if there are, it's definitely not that many.





    Maybe men should be better fathers and not leave all of the parenting to the mother. More often than not, you've got a woman/mother that HAS to work outside the home, plus she goes home and does the traditional female-gendered chores, and all men do it b*tch about paying child support. The child hears dad b*tchin about paying child support, gets a complex and pees his pants.
    I couldn't help but notice that the feminists turned this right around to blaming the fathers and saying it is not true. Guess what, it is true. I have seen children as old as 4 not yet potty trained and it is due to nothing but sheer laziness on the parents part (please note, I said parents not just mother). It takes all of a week to potty train a child at 2 years of age if it is done correctly. It is NOT the job of a daycare worker to potty your children.





    Here are a few other things I have noticed that don't get taught any more. Manners, children are no longer taught to use even the most simple forms of mannerly behaviour, such as saying please and thank you. Life skills, like doing chores, helping in the kitchen, cleaning up their own messes. Ethics, these are not taught by the telly or daycare workers, they are taught in the home. If the children are not in the home, they don't get to learn them.





    I could go on, but I think I have made my point. It is up to parents to teach the most important things in life, not daycare workers, not teachers.
    Gee...you'd think these children had FATHERS who could take on the role of toilet training their own children, since the mothers need to work to feed the family.





    But as we all know, expecting fathers to take care of the children they spawned, apparently, is laughable.





    And a few isolated anecdotes does not a conclusion make.
    just like feminists to not take any responsibility for their children, it has to be up to the schools, daycare, fathers etc, to raise the children. We wouldn't want the feminists to be oppressed by actually raising their own children when everyone else in society can so they can be fulfilled. Good job feminists, you won this one, but we'll be back!
    So its only the mother's job to toilet train children, how enlightning! I would think the father should share that task.





    I would say that a child with a working set of parents has not been left home alone. They have been to daycare centers. They have had training.





    Some 5 year olds have accidents. They are in unfamiliar places and get to engrossed in what they are doing. All of a sudden an accident. But then someone who has experience in child raising would know that. I understand your lack of knowledge!
    working mothers do childcare too,





    and these kids do have fathers to take half of the works.





    and if parents are too busy but could afford to get a maid





    then a maid would be paid to do the potty train and other childcare





    if only men never view housewives as servants, but as equal partners that do different things, perhaps more number of women would feel confident enough to stay at home and look after their family.
    I think it does, if the mother, as a result of her feminist beliefs, teaches her kids that women are better and men are inferior (yes, it happens, sadly!) or is never home because she's career-obsessed. Otherwise, if the woman is a moderate feminist (and most seem to be), I don't think it's negative for the kids at all.
    Uh huh. Exactly how many unpotty-trained 5 year olds have you met? Now how many working mothers? I'm betting one number is much, much larger than the other, which would indicate a weak correlation at best.
    Where did you read/see/hear of kindergarten teachers having to toilet train their students?





    Never heard of any such thing.





    My mother worked, she was single, I was a daycare kid..I was toilet trained by 2.
    Yes, overbearing mothers have created some of the most prolific serial killers in history.
    so its bad for women to now have the liberation that men have had for so long?





    no sexism in that

    Difference between the American parenting model and the Latin parenting model?

    What's the difference, and whose kids come out better in the end?Difference between the American parenting model and the Latin parenting model?
    Generally speaking, with exceptions of course, Latin children are much more family oriented and loving. They value their family and are more obedient. The average American child is more concerned with self and their possessions. This is true for the present as their parents were raised that way.Difference between the American parenting model and the Latin parenting model?
    There is a big difference, but it really depends because some American raised children are well behaved and some are rude and fresh. I think the same goes as Latin raised family's. I have seen both from the cultures. I know someone what was born in American as his parents and overall was American raised but was really respectfully, with a strong back bone and hard working just like his mother. So, it really depends on the parents.
    VERY big diffrence....
    When your idea of parenting is to let the oldest child raise the younger children you wind up with mature children who never become adults no matter how old they get.
  • clinique
  • Want to find a way to adopt a child without having to go through foster parenting.?

    My husband and I have been married 10 years and would like to adopt an infant or toddler with out going through the heartbreak of foster parenting. We cannot afford to do an overseas adoption process and don't want to wait forever any ideas?Want to find a way to adopt a child without having to go through foster parenting.?
    I don't have an easy answer, but wanted to clarify that many adoptions are newborn adoptions in the US (domestic adoptions), usually done through private agencies. These generally cost about the same as international adoptions ($15,000+). We adopted an infant 3 years ago. Our wait was less than a year, but it varies widely. With domestic adoption the first mom usually picks the family for her child, so the wait is not predictable. Our adoption was about $18,000 - not cheap, but luckily we could do it. The costs were spread out over the year, so it wasn't all at once.Want to find a way to adopt a child without having to go through foster parenting.?
    I am not sure why you think foster-to-adopt leads to heartache? I assume you are referring to cases where children are returned to abusive/neglectful biological parents rather than placed for adoption. While this happens (and note that reunification is the goal of foster care) you can adopt through foster care without actually being a 'foster parent'.





    When you sign up and take the foster certification classes they ask you what sort of foster cases you are willing to take. You can request that *only* children who have already been placed for adoption be placed with you. In these cases, the custody of the child has already been resolved by the courts and the placement is for adoption. Such children are typically placed in homes looking to adopt (if available), the home study and trial period are completed, and the court finalizes the adoption (just like a private adoption).





    However, most people who work in or have been through the process will recommend you become foster parents and/or take 'legal risk' cases (instances where the case is still working through the courts, but the social workers feel it likely the child will be placed for adoption). By taking cases with uncertain futures you increase your chances of a placement and speed up the process in general.





    If you are willing to wait, then there will be no 'heart ache'. Then again, ';nothing ventured, nothing gained';.





    In our case, we adopted two young boys. They were a ';legal risk'; case when they came to live with us. We went through several months when we didn't know if they were going to placed for adoption or not. Eventually, the case was resolved and we adopted them. We KNOW that if we had not foster them first, taken that chance, we would never have had the chance to adopt them.





    Yes, we do know some people who had placements not work out, either the child was too much to handle or the bio parents won back their parental rights, but for the most part, even those people would agree the chance you take it worth the reward.
    Adoption is not an easy process. There are many requirements that the adoptive couple will have to meet before they are allowed to move forward with the adoption. Here is a list showing some of the criteria:





    * * Marital Status


    * * Length of Marriage


    * * Age of Adoptive Parents


    * * Health and Disabilities Issues of Adoptive Parents


    * * Use of Drugs, Alcohol and Tobacco


    * * Fertility Status


    * * Other Children in the Family


    * * Financial Status


    * * Employment Stability





    The cost of adoption depends on how they choose to proceed. If they use the US foster care system, there is little or almost no cost to the adoptive parents. In some states, subsidies are offered. Stepparent or kinship adoptions usually cost up to $2,500.





    Using an agency, private or international adoption can cost up to $30,000.
    You can actual adopt through Child Protective Services without being foster parents. You will need to complete some classes and have full background checks and home studies but then you can go on the list of prospective adoptive homes. You can classify what type child you want (sex, race, age) but the more picky you are the more likely you will wait longer. Yes, most of the children adopted through foster care were removed from abusive/neglectful parents but there are also mothers that relinquish their babies, asking CPS to find them a home. These children are adopted and not fostered. It would be worth contacting your local CPS office to find out.
    Adopting through foster care requires a wait too as not all kids in foster care will be available for adoption--and if the child does become available in foster care it's highly unlikely that child will be moved to another family.So if you don't want to foster , with the chance the child will return home, then your choices ---are very few.
    Have you spoken to DCF in your area? In my state you get licensed either for foster care or for adoption. If you are licensed for adoption DCF will only place children in your home whose parents rights have already been terminated and who they couldn't place with relatives. I think you should call social services and ask them how it works where you are.
    There is no other way. It's either Private adoption (which you stated you don't have the money for) or Foster to Adopt. Now, you can adopt an older child (over the age of 5ish) that is legally free for adoption through Foster Care - and that's basically free.
    You don't have to be a foster parent to adopt you can adopt children legally free. There are few babies but pleanty of toddlers up for adoption.

    What can a person learn from taking parenting classes?

    I agree with Linda that a good parenting class will help you develop skills for building a positive family life. The class should provide practical ideas for handling misbehavior in ways that help children learn from their mistakes.What can a person learn from taking parenting classes?
    A parenting program is usually very helpful, you learn how to care for a little child, how to feed, dress, bath, diaper and you also learn how to tell when they are sick.





    For older children a person can learn how to train and discipline their child in an effective way. A class will also give an inexperienced mother the tools of parenting so that she has more confidence in her ability to be a good mother.What can a person learn from taking parenting classes?
    A really good class will give you some insight into what to expect (on the average) at different ages. It should warn you not to be too hard on yourself when you make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes.


    The class can give you different coping techniques for dealing with different behaviors. For example, we never, ever spanked our kids but they did receive immediate consequences that were appropriate to their ages. The class can give you ideas on what's appropriate for the various ages.


    Look at it this way. Would you want people to learn to drive by having them do their first bit of driving on the freeway or would you want them to study and learn from others successes and mistakes?
    Two parts:





    1) An understanding of child development and effective skills that are relevant to the age of the child.





    2) Unlearning non-effective, abusive, age-inappropriate strategies, e.g. spanking, and lecturing a 3 year old.





    Take a look at a few programs. They can be very helpful, especially ones like S.T.E.P. and P.E.P.
    Well, first off you probably won't need to run to yahoo answers every time your baby does something you don't understand - and we'll all appreciate that.





    They teach you some of the basics, which you might already know (proper diapering, swaddling, bottle making, etc), but the more important stuff is the stuff you didn't know you didn't know. Does that make sense?





    I learned ways to move my baby's legs to relieve painful gas, how to hold her to nurse, and so much more.
    Nothing the only way you can learn to be a better parent is to learn from your own experience not a book.

    Who else thinks this is horrible parenting?

    I know someone who refers to her 8 year son as dating his girlfriend. Also, she allows him to have a myspace page and lets him put songs on that page such as Nirvana's, ';Rape Me';. That's just one of the many inappropriate songs on there.


    What are your opinions about this?





    Who else thinks this is horrible parenting?
    Some women should be made to take classes before they have children. She probably thinks this is funny and if so, she has a lousy sense of humor.Who else thinks this is horrible parenting?
    Well my nephews 8 and he thinks he's God's gift to women and he's got older girls from his old school that seemed to like him a lot and had a kind of girlfriend for a while. He's also got a myspace but doesn't put any songs like that on it. His parents have a rule for him and his 13 year old sister for their myspaces. They ask once to see the myspace and if they don't get to see it right away then they don't get to have it anymore and the computers are where everyone can see them.
    No, its not bad parenting at all. First of all, how is having a girl friend a negative thing? Thats just stupid. Whats wrong with having a myspace page? As for the music, there is no such thing as an inappropriate song, if kids start repeating words they hear in a song, it is the kid's fault, not anybody else's.
    With kids, you have to make a judgement based on their maturity and understanding of the world, age is just a small part of it.





    I could introduce you to two 9 year olds right now, who are so different. One, its' like speaking to a child. She's only just figuring out santa isn't real, and is still not sure.


    The other, well, she is so bright, so streetwise. It really is like speaking to a grown-up. She is naive to what she needs to be naive to, but she completely gets how people work, and what is what.





    Actually, one goes to majorettes, and the other takes an urban dance class, with seriously sassy moves. No prizes for guessing which girl does what.
    How does the child act? I was allowed to listen to basically any music at age 8 and I didn't turn out messed up. As for myspace, I don't think an 8 year-old needs one and it's probably best that they don't, but again, it depends on the kid. As for dating, maybe she's just joking? I had a ';boyfriend'; in kindergarten and my parents joked with me as it was nothing serious, just kids being kids.
    ok i dint think that this is unacceptably behavior for a parent to let her 8 yr old do these things, but in my house it wouldn't go that way. It is in fact unacceptable in my household. But whats going on for them may be working for them. i would worry about how this child acts by himself and w others. And as for the music when I was little i got to listen to all of it..but now that I have children, both boys...I pick n choose plus we have a rule...if u repeat the bad words the song ids gone rule. and that may not fly in someone Else's house. So sister, i dint know every ones opinions Very...goodluck
    It's not something I would personally allow, but I can't say if it's working for them or not. Everyone has different parenting styles, there is no ';right'; or ';wrong'; way.
    I think it's none of your business. What benefit is it to this youngster if everyone here agrees with you? What if we all disagree?





    Either politely discuss this with mom or mind your own business.
    Figures.....MySpace is a joke, when it comes to protecting kids. They say kids no younger than 13yrs.-old.





    Take down the page.
    There's no way in hell my 8 year old would ever get away with that stuff. And yes, it is horrible parenting. I wonder if he was a she if the mother would still let him do all those things..
    Rape me is an ANTI-rape song. What's wrong with giving that message to an 8 year old?
    That is ridiculous! How old is the mother? She sounds like a nutcase. Is she already buying him condoms? She will one day wonder why her little Johnny had to go to prison.
    That's insane and when the kids grows up all screwed up the parents are wondering why.
    Sounds like someone who is more interested in being her child's friend than their parent.
    bad parenting
    She sounds like a moron who is raising her son to be a moron.
    That is one warped mother. Watch the child and be there for him. He's gonna need some sane people around him.
    you should take classes on minding your own business.
    I wouldn't say shes a bad parent but shes making some bad choices it seems.

    Was Kanye West born a jerk or is he just another victim of bad parenting?

    It seems like he doesn't even no how to spell '; good manners';, much less practice them. He has no respect for anyones opinion but his own. Maybe him and Terrell Owens should be roommates , they seem to be peas in a pod.Was Kanye West born a jerk or is he just another victim of bad parenting?
    he is a victim of being black.Was Kanye West born a jerk or is he just another victim of bad parenting?
    He just one more monkey working hard to get attention by being aggressive. Since Obama took over the monkeys are getting out of control. All you have to do is watch how people from Serena Williams to Prof Gates use race to do what they want. Now liberals are even trying to put up a barrier against critics by charging racism and injecting the KKK into the picture. I have always been more than fair with every person I met with skin color different than mine but the recent increase in open hostility to whites is giving me cause to look harder at what is going on. BY the way I used the work monkey to get attention instead of grabbing a mike.
    Let's FACE It; WHO teaches ';manners';- anymore ??! People are being taught that they can get ';Attention'; by using their Mouths- NOT their Brains !! ';Respect'; requires ';thought';, and it's pretty OBVIOUS that there's precious little of THAT, going around... So when it comes to what West DID- I see it as a disturbing ';Symptom'; of a ';Disease'; too many of Us are falling victim too... And this is NOT- a good Sign. :(
    I think anyone that makes a great deal of money doing something foolish is responsible for that him or her self.





    http://www.noizeystatic.blogspot.com/ helped me better refine a answer to this troubling question.
    most definitely the parenting
    He is not a victim. He is an @sshole. Don't portray him as a victim.





    Besides, I'm not a fan of Kanye nor Taylor.
    He knew what he was doing and the only reason he's sorry is because it back fired on him.
    I think it is sad, what human beings do unto others. They are the cruelest Animals on earth
    He is a dipsh**, in everyway possible. only one of his songs are good and he is secretly gay for Flo Rida
    kanye smokes too much weed
    He and his family are just gutter trash. I don't expect my dog to act like a human being because he is not one, and neither is West.

    Would you say it is bad parenting to give a 13 month old a peice of kit kat?

    No, it's not bad parenting.





    But I don't believe you'd really want to introduce candy at this age. I'm sure baby is still in the early stages of eating table foods and so it's best to allow your child to become accustomed to healthy foods first.





    However, if you're going to let baby try it, I'd suggest you hold onto it and don't let baby eat too much of it because the baby can get a belly ache from it. And don't make it a habit to allow baby to have candy too often.





    .Would you say it is bad parenting to give a 13 month old a peice of kit kat?
    I think there are better things to feed a 13 month old, and since a child that age is not really interested in the candy unless a parent gives it to them, its not the best choice of food.





    However, a piece of kitkat is not going to harm a child, or cause any long term damage. I do not believe in creating taboo food for children, as it simply makes it more desirable. With that said, I think it is better to wait until they are old enough to really want and ask for it, and with that teach moderation of less healthy foods.





    So, no. A small piece of kitkat is not going to make someone a bad parent. The choice may not be the best one, but it is certainly not a terrible thing.Would you say it is bad parenting to give a 13 month old a peice of kit kat?
    No, i wouldnt call it bad parenting. lets face it theres no manual telling us whats right or wrong its personal choice :). However, i wouldnt advise this as a regular thing and certainly not the whole bar.x
    Nope. I wouldn't even say bad parenting if someone gave a 13 month old a whole kit kat. As long as the baby (toddler) gets all the other nutrition he/she needs, then there's no reason to withhold a treat. :)
    I see nothing wrong with that.


    My 13 month old has gotten pieces of candy quite a few times. As long as the parents are there to supervise while they eat the candy, there's nothing wrong with a treat every now and then.
    No kids are going to get junk food at one point or another, as long as the parents are only allowing it in moderation it won't hurt them
    Nope, just dont give him the whole thing. Too much sugar for a little body.
    yes i would say that its bad parenting to give a 13 month old candy. the sooner you introduce sweets to them the sooner they will want and expect it.
    no, not unless u feed it to them all the time, in place of meals , or something silly like that; there is nothing wrong with a taste of this or that in my ho...
    No.
    no i think you are allowed to make any decisions you want with your child
    no. it's your baby. anyone who reads this, answer mine!! Please:)http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a> thanks:)
    no as long as u watch them and don't leave them alone with the candy because they can choke
    Not at all, my best friend gives her 11month old a little tiny peice of any candy she has, very small but the little girl loves it!
    No. Kids deserve something sweet now and then. Just don't give it to them as a meal or to shut them up when they are bugging you.





    %26gt;%26lt;http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
    Kids under 3 tend to get sometimes severe diarrhea from chocolate, even small amounts. Their bodies seem to see it as a poison and for this reason, I would just not do so.
    No way. I gave my 12 month old mud pie last night! lol
    Nope...kids like candy...chocolate...sweets...sometime you have to give them that...lol just don't give em to much...he mite be bouncing off the walls

    Do you think it's bad parenting to allow a 2 and 4 year olds to watch horror movies?

    If they are not scared by them, and if it's not too gory or violent, do you think it's bad parenting to allow them to watch them?Do you think it's bad parenting to allow a 2 and 4 year olds to watch horror movies?
    yesDo you think it's bad parenting to allow a 2 and 4 year olds to watch horror movies?
    Yes. Their minds aren't ready for horror %26amp; it could definitely give them nightmares. I strongly believe that they cannot adequately process %26amp; determine what is or isn't real. They may not portray being scared, but later as images are replayed in their minds it could really terrify them. Everything is blown out of proportion in a child's mind. Why, why, why would anyone want to expose young children to the kind of fear that is shown in horror movies before they can even completely understand what it means? We know it's not real but they certainly don't %26amp; no matter how many times you tell them ';it's not real'; they'll still question it %26amp; remember what they saw. It's the parent's job to protect their children, physically %26amp; mentally.
    Yes, this is like actually like a child watching these things actually happening in their daily lives, you may as well have an axe murderer walk into your TV room and kill someone, no difference. They take in what they see, there is no difference to them between movie and reality. Even if you explain that it is special effects, if they have never seen a movie set how are they supposed to comprehend that?


    Isn't it a little concerning to you that a 4 year old isn't scared or even bothered by violence and death?


    Why are the horror movies on anyway? It's sad that adults would give more attention to horror movies than their own kids. :(
    Yes, and quite frankly, it's abuse. At that age, they cannot understand the difference between fantasy and reality, even if they are told it's all fake. In their mind, it's real. And it's making an impression on them, quite possibly forever.





    My dad took me to see horror movies starting at age 6, upon my request. At the time, I loved it and promised I wasn't scared. Shortly thereafter though is when I started having the 'horror' nightmares. I'm not talking about just dreams about monsters or the bogeyman. I talking about truly horrific, sick and gruesome dreams that combine all of the worst parts of every horror movie and amplify it into seriously weird sh*t like you've never seen before. To this day, even though I am now an adult, I still have these nightmares and can't shake them.





    It's just not worth it for the convenience of not having to pay a babysitter. Spend $20 and see that stuff by yourself.
    Yes, it is. Even if they aren't gory or violent and the kid is not scared of them, horror movies are meant for adults and are bound to have adult content in them.





    Plus, there are about 8374832934 children's movies out there that are perfectly appropriate for 2-4 year olds to watch that they would probably enjoy more than the horror movie.
    I don't think I would call it ';bad'; parenting, but it's something I would not do with my own children. You don't know what truly will scare them and won't. Some children get scared in their dark bedrooms alone at night of the least scary things--my brother was 11 when he finally stopped having nightmares about E.T., a movie he had no problem watching and didn't feel scared of while he was watching it. Who would have guessed that E.T. would cause nightmares for him for 7 years?! It's best to avoid anything that might possibly cause them to feel that way.And what you consider ';not to gory or violent'; might be way over-the-top for someone else's definition.
    Absolutely, I do! There are ratings on these programs for a reason. Just because YOU don't find it scary, gory, or violent does not mean that a young, impressionable, innocent child may feel otherwise. How dare you rob them of what little fairy tales they make believe for the short amount of time they are allowed to believe...to be hopeful...instead of introducing the horrifying truths of society at such a young age. I understand the whole ';non sheltering'; your children syndrome....but give the kids a chance.
    Yes, I do. They could get nightmares even if they do not appear to be afraid. Horror movies have a stricter rating on them, so there could be language they could learn, violent themes they could mimic, or just horrible images left in their innocent minds that will mess them up later on. Stick with Disney.
    I believe in exposing your kids to all types of cinema (before their friends do, which they will) and having an open communication with them about it, but four is too young to appreciate a scary movie. It will just give him or her nightmares. I'd say wait until the kid is old enough to realize Santa isn't real.
    Hell yeah!





    I have a 3 yr old and a 6 yr old.


    They don't watch anything with violence, racism etc in it.


    Omg, my 3 yr old is having nightmares of Cruella for god's sake (101 dalmations). And everything is a scary monster. That is the stage he is at. You don't need to show them these movies. It will affect them in the long run and you could end up with some very angry children....
    I strongly believe it is too bad because the mind of a litle child is in a programing process. Therefore, those kind of movies should be a kind of virus. But not to worried because since you are asking, you could change and learn to be a better father or mother. good luck.
    I have a 2 yr old and a 4 year old and no i wouldn't let them watch anything like that. i also have a 9 yr old and the same goes for him. I am picky about what my kids watch if its violence,sex related or drug related i wont let them watch,
    Nah, they gotta learn to not be afraid of scary movies some time, and two to four years is a good time to start. By the time they get to their teens they'll understand how fake movies are and will be ready for many long years of therapy.
    Yes, because even if their not scared children can sense the emotions and feelings in many situations and most horror movies have a hate felt scenario and that's not what you want to teach your child.
    2 years old and 4? really? i doubt its ALLOWING them to watch horror movies cuz kids that little dont even like scary movies. just buy them sum toys.
    Yes, I do, personally. What you consider ';not too gory or violent'; as an adult could be very different to a child.
    I don't think its bad parenting, but it may cause nightmares later on. they are young but you don't want them to be traumatized by what they see.
    i saw a 5 year old at the movie Watchmen which is def not a movie that children should see, but just use your best judgement if they dont get scared then i dont see a problem with it :)
    A 2 and 4 year old are not mature enough to be watching horror movies - that's WAY too young.
    Damn straight ~it's a bad idea!


    Find some appropriate programing.
    I was five when my mother realised that I could tell the difference.





    At four and two years old I would consider them to be a little too young yet.
    its not being a bad parent just a parent with poor judgment. they rate movies for a reason.
    yes! how do you know they aren't scared by them? they could develop some kind of fear or worse.
    Yes......thats terrible.
    Yes!
    Yes
    Yes
    I don't think so. I've been watching rated R movies as long as I can remember, but I've turned out okay. In fact, I contribute watching horror movies as a kid to the fact that I never believed in monsters or the like, or was never afraid of the dark.
    Yes unless it's one of those that it's hard to tell by just watching that it's a horror movie and you manly know it's a horror movie by the story
    There are worse media content...





    Horror isn't as bad as showing racist movies showing a little girl barbies/kens are beautiful (only that whites are beautiful).





    I would let a few horrors slide, but not the others.
    No. Heck, I doubt they'll even understand the plot and would actually enjoy it due to the special effects.
  • clinique
  • What is your favorite part of parenting your baby?

    I have asked some questions about AHHH my baby is not sleeping!!! lol





    Now I want to bring some positive energy here instead of frustation, lol





    So what is your favorite part of having a young baby?





    Mine is the smiles. Baby smiles are the best. My son has the best baby smiles. And he smiles all the time. He is just the smiliest baby ever. With my daughter is was her being so small. She was like a delicate doll. I loved holding her like she was fragile.What is your favorite part of parenting your baby?
    My favourite part is when my little boy comes up to me for cuddles and then lies down and snuggles with me. No better feeling then when your baby cuddles you back.





    Or when they look at you and you can see the love in their eyesWhat is your favorite part of parenting your baby?
    I LOVe it when their daddy is home to chaneg diapers :) LOL SOME Days that is my favorite part.
    Babies are always a joy. Just spending time with them makes you light up. If you are ever having a bad day, just look at that cute little face and smile. Your baby is precious! Happy Holidays :)
    The hugs, kisses and smiles!
    yes
    The way they change after only a few weeks. It is like they are becoming a new person.
    EVERYTHING!!! I love the way he wakes up full of smiles. I love the way he ';talks'; to his toys. I even love the fact that he has discovered how to make high pitched shrieks that give me a headache because he is so happy and proud of himself. I love to see him smile and hear him laugh. I love when I can get him to stop crying in the car by singing Old MacDonald. I love to see him figure things out. I love to see him bounce. I love the expression on his face when I give him something new to eat. I love the way he has to watch everything going on around him. I love the way he always wants to stand. I love seeing him grab his toes. I love seeing him stare in amazement at the toy he has in his hands, even if it's the same toy he was playing with an hour ago. I love the way he snores.





    But the thing I love the most is when he falls asleep on my shoulder at bedtime and lets out contented little sighs.
    Mine are his new laughs!! he does belly laughs that are soo cute!!!! and I love how exciterd he gets to see me :o)
    My favorite part of having a little baby was the cuddling. They are so innocent and sweet. Aww...wish I still had a little little baby!
    I love the happy-fed-tummy syndrome! he looks so content!
    My baby is 16.5 mos old so she isn't exactly a young baby but anyway... She is at the age where she is our little mocking bird. I would open the cabinet and tap my finger on my chin and go hmmm. Now she does it--so adorable. I love hearing her talk. She will try to feed her dolly some of the milk in her sippy cup. I just love to watch her when she is happy and in a playful mood. I still love her smiles. Kids are great!
    Making him giggle. I love when he makes his eyebrows go down, then says bu, lol.
    I love it when they fall asleep on your shoulder and let out a little sigh.





    I also love coming home after being at work all day. She jumps in my arms.
    When my daughter was a baby, she is 3 now, I loved feeding her. She was so cute and content lying in my arms as she fell asleep.
    the smiles, giggles, the running around the house, the testing limits, the baby talk, the first words...so many good things.
    Watching her discover new things and investigate the world around her. Everything I take for granted is interesting and something to be marveled at for her. And there is always watching her try new foods, lol.
    The first few seconds after she wakes up....and she gets that look in her eyes when she recognizes you....you know what I mean.
    My favorite part is that I dont have a baby, and I dont have to do any parenting.





    Lets hear it for vasectomies!





    Give wildlife a chance. Dont have children.

    What does this say about your parenting skills if you raise one bad kid and one good kid?

    It says you took the time to reach one child. You did not take the time to learn how to teach the other.What does this say about your parenting skills if you raise one bad kid and one good kid?
    Well, it could be that you paid more attention to one and not the other. Maybe that kid felt left out. If the bad kid is your second kid then the first kid that you had, you had more time for. It doesn't mean that your an entirely bad parent it just means that you did better parenting with the good kid. Think back did you discipline more, more on top of your rules and strict? If you had or have a husband did you guys stick together with punishment and fallow through with rules together too? Think about it maybe if you have another kid do the same parenting that you did with the good kid. Hope I helped!


    P.S.- I don't know if you just asked this question or if it actually happened so I said it like it happened.What does this say about your parenting skills if you raise one bad kid and one good kid?
    It really depends on the parents. You can't say that the parents are bad because one child turned out bad or that the parents where good parents just because one child turned out good. My mother was a horrible mother from the time I was 1 1/2 up until now and my father was hardly ever around. My mother abused drugs and alcohol and my siblings and I were abused emotionally and physically. I graduated high school, got married, went to college and had a good job. I have 2 kids now and a wonderful husband. My sister is currently attending high school and will possibly go on to become something. My brothers are just like my mom. She had two good kids %26amp; 2 bad kids but those two good kids do not make my mother a good parent.





    On the other hand, I know someone that had 5 kids. 3 of those kids turned out to abuse drugs and alcohol. They lost everything they had and made nothing of themselves. Two of her kids grew up to be respectable citizens and have great kids. Those 3 that turned out bad does not make her a bad parent.





    I think that parenting does influence how a person turns out somewhat but for the most part those people that make bad decisions want someone to blame those bad decisions on. Parent's shouldn't be made to take the blame because their children grow up to make bad choices. We as humans can get past our childhood and make something of ourselves instead of taking the easy way out, doing what we want and then laying the blame with our parents.
    From my personal experience, it doesn't say much at all. I am one of three girls, and my older sister turned out to be the ';black sheep'; of our family while my little sister and I didn't cause any serious trouble for my parents. My parents gave all of us the same opportunities, equal amounts of attention and support, etc. For some reason, it was just never enough for my sister and she always acted out and got into trouble. In some cases, I'm sure parents may pay more attention to one child over another, but that wasn't the case in my family. I just think all kids are different and sometimes parents can try everything under the sun and it just won't work with a particular child.
    It could say a lot.





    Example. My grandmother has always felt my uncles could do no wrong. Even after going to jail for drugs and other things. To this day she thinks they do no wrong and they still get into trouble because she has never made them accountable for their actions. Even as young boys they got away with everything.





    It could say nothing at all.





    Example. I know a set of 3 girls. Their parents treated them all the same. Made them accountable for their actions, but one of the girls cannot keep herself on the right path. She makes the choices of doing wrong. It's all on her not her parents parenting skills.
    I came up good, and my brother not so much and it doesnt mean my mom had bad parenting skills. it means he grew up and made his own choices. he chose to throw out everything my mom taught him. all 3 of my sisters are good too. were definitely not perfect but we were never into any sort of trouble. i might have been during high school , but i grew up and made choices.
    depends on the individual parent.





    i know many parents who were great parents, and one of their kids just got into the wrong crowd and ended up using drugs and getting addicted, and that led to a life of crime trying to get his next hit anyway he could (he's clean now, btw, and he's my husband) and their (4) other kids ended up good.


    but i've also known shitty parents who have gotten lucky and their kids turned out good. not that they care that they're good.
    It means that humans have free will! How did I come from such a messed up family and turn out to be a caring and decent human being? I have every excuse in the world to be a child abuser, a drug user, and an alcoholic. I chose to be a good parent and not get caught up in all that crap! It was a conscious decision to NOT be like my parents and the Grace of G-d!
    It probably means your put effort into one child and basically gave up on the Other or ignored the other. Or if the bad child is the older one then the younger child may lean from the bad child and see how not to act and what happens if they were to act that way.
    trust me it says nothing about the parents who are doing the right thing in their parenting,,,, but for the one who has strayed away you have to always keep in mind that it is about CHOICES ,, the creator gives us all free will
    It means you're a bad parent and you got lucky, or you're a good parent and one kid just followed the wrong path. Its not ALWAYS entirely the parents fault.
    Not much. Depending on the parents, maybe the good child is the unusual one.
    it says that every child is different.

    What are the effects of authoritarian parenting style on children behaviour?

    i need the effects of authoritarian parenting style on children behaviour?like why they mis behave their behavioural problems...why they have change personalities?What are the effects of authoritarian parenting style on children behaviour?
    The effect that I have seen are usually to the extreme. The child grows up to be either in complete rebellion, with blatant disregards for authority.....or lacks self-confidence.


    It's psycholigically damaging to a person's well-being.What are the effects of authoritarian parenting style on children behaviour?
    I'm in my first your of post-sec. Anyways my friend who i know grew up with an authoritarian father has changed greatly in this past year.





    When i first met him in grade 10, he seemed very intelligent, well kept, organized, perfect really. I heard stories of how at 9pm his father cuts the electricity to his room and he is forced to go to bed. He was a very fragile type of guy, easily startled.





    But i dont know what got into him, in his graduation year of high school, he began dressing differently, drinking, smoking, stealing at work. It was like he finally could release years of emotional confinement. Keep in mind he is of course keeping this all a secret to his father. if his father were to find out that he smokes and what not, he would be killed. So i don't know how he does it, but he does.





    anyways i hope that gives you some insight.

    Has anyone else noticed that the nicest ppl seem to be in prego and parenting?

    I swear anytime I venture out into other catagories I always see rude ppl, sure there is a few in this catagory too but not like the others! Maybe its because we are all hormonal and know how it feels but wow some ppl are mean. Is it just me being silly and prego or are all the nice ppl here? Congrats to all pregos and mommies!Has anyone else noticed that the nicest ppl seem to be in prego and parenting?
    Sweetie I think it's probably because we all have more patience as we all generally have children and a lot of patience is required hahahah!! Even those with kids on the way, are ready to be parents most of the time. Here here to all those nice people too xx Hope you all had a wonderful new year :-)Has anyone else noticed that the nicest ppl seem to be in prego and parenting?
    The only category I really be in is pregnancy, as you're aware some of the other categories have some very rude and nasty people. I don't insult anyones opinion ever, I think that is the main thing. Some people on here believe if you don't live by their standards, then you are in the wrong. I say this is only an online forum, nothing more. Thank you for you congrats, I need I feel like I'm going to pop!
    There are a lot of nice people here, but there are some bitties as well. Parenting has a lot of contoversial topics posted (abortion, formula feeding, co-sleeping, daycare, etc.) and sometimes it can get just plain UGLY.





    But there are lots of nice people too :)
    I haven't been outside preg and parenting often. The only category here that seems to get mixed response is the adopting category. I would love to spend more time there, but quite frankly, some of them scare me. ;)
    Well you are just a moron, I guess.





    JUST KIDDING! hahahahahaha!





    Mothers to be are full of love for their unborn babies, so maybe that's it.
    I absolutely hate that word ';preggo';. Use the complete word please.

    Did you and your partner discuss parenting styles before having children?

    Did you talk about breast or bottle feeding, sleep issues, weaning theories, potty training, discipline strategies, etc before you had child(ren), do you discuss matters as they arise, or do you just go with 'the flow'?Did you and your partner discuss parenting styles before having children?
    im thinking many parents dont even discuss a second date before having childrenDid you and your partner discuss parenting styles before having children?
    My husband and I were very young (unplanned) parents, so we didn't discuss parenting issues beforehand. Fortunately, our son was a very ';easy'; baby and my husband and I are very much on the same wavelength.





    Since then, yes, we discuss issues as they arise. If there is a discipline issue, we will usually send children from the room while we discuss it. We believe it is very important to be on the same page of music. We now have three children. Our biological son, and two children from intercountry adoption (as school age children, not babies). We have had to adjust, amend and alter our parenting styles to fit the children and the situation.





    Parenting is NOT a ';one size fits all'; sort of thing.
    We did discuss some things but have still come across things we don't agree on.





    My partner knew I wanted to breastfeed and that was fine, he has struggled with not giving the baby water - he asked every health visitor who comes over when he can give him water and looks upset as each one tells him baby doesn't need water - he and I have fallen out about this a few times!





    He also thinks I pick up our son too quickly when he cries - this is usually because I know what is wrong with him and my partner is OK now as he sees our son is just fine - not clingy etc.





    Discipline we are totally on the same page which is a big relief as I wouldn't want to have the smacking debate - neither of us agree with it and he has 2 kids who have turned out just fine with no smacks at all!





    On most stuff I find we go with the flow, I def need to learn to relax more!
    Yes, actually it came about naturally because our friends (two couples) had their babies before us (there's a difference of 14 and 10 months between them and our daughter), we did some babysitting for both of them and discussed the way our friends dealt with certain issues. We agree about almost everything, sometimes if one of us acts in a way that the other doesn't fully accept we try to discuss it later, when our daughter is asleep or in another room.
    We discussed all of what you mentioned for almost 2 years before having our first. Along with daily routine responsibilities, household duty expectations for both him and I, shopping strategies, extremely extensive financial responsibility talks, school options, what we wanted to focus on teaching them from birth up, morals, religion, all sorts of things! Neither of us are a ';go with the flow'; type. I am almost OCD with planning, budgeting, organization ect. So we always have a plan in place, a back up plan, and goals 365 days a year. Once one gets done, we move on down the list. Our ';10 year plan'; lol, has been completely accomplished in 4 years. So now we are actually in the process of putting together our new ';10 year plan';. Which will be paying our house off early (8 years left at this rate), and getting a solid retirement started. We want my husband to retire at 45, when our youngest is 18.





    It is a caotic mess to budget 1 year in advance, and adjust monthly, plan ahead all of the time ect....but it is paying off more than we ever dreamed it would. The kids are doing exceptionally well, and we are doing great ourselves.





    I could not imagine how much worse off we'd be if we just didn't worry about anythig ever, and had no agreements or plans in place.





    Once we had a set idea of what one another desired out of life, and were on the same page....then we got pregnant, married, and moved 2200 miles. (we'd been researching realestate nation wide that entire time as well, so that we had a clear picture on the best place for us to raise a family).





    I'm 21 now, turning 22 Oct.17th. Our kids turn 4 Nov.2nd, and 1 Dec.4th. This baby will be our last (as planned as well), and is due Dec.26th. We've been together for 7 years next march, and married 4 years last month.





    Once we knew we were good together, things just went into overdrive to get the best life we could established in the least amount of time possible. It was the most work, and most fun we have had thus far! lol
    I sort of figured that after the 10 years we'd been together befor having kids I had good measure of the man!





    We didn't discuss very specific things like sleep issues and such like but more general ' what being a parent' meant to us.





    I have to say he went along with almost all of my wishes but he knew I had been around babies much more than him and he honoured that.





    We disagree much more now the kids are at school . Things like homework and social matters cause aggro as we have different approaches. Basically I'm a worry guts and he isn't!
    During pregnancy, we kind of joked about everything. Once our daughter was here we discussed it as it came up. I think if we would of laid a plan out- it would of changed because not everything goes as we plan :)





    A side note about sleeping issues- my bf and I started alternating nights when my daughter was about 2 months old. That way one of us gets a good night sleep every other night. We are still doing that and our daughter is 15 months old. :)
    We didn't discuss it exactly but we're very similar people and knew we would have the same opinion on most things. Thankfully, as I am the SAHM, my hubby lets me make all the major decisions and supports me for it. He trusts me to be well researched and to make an educated decision before starting something new - and while that might not work for many, it works for us!


    The only thing we ever really disagree on is household chores and money matters - we have yet to have an arguement over how our daughter is raised. I don't think anyone could argue it - she's a bubbly, healthy young girl.
    my husband and i discussed whether we wanted children or not and how we feel they should be raised before making the decision to start a family. but it's impossible to discuss everything before hand. as long as you are on the same page with the big stuff, like how to raise them then things like potty training etc can be dealt with as and when its relevant.


    hope this helps x
    we go with the flow, but through are time together before had it was obvious we felt the same about most issues, for example seeing a woman smack a child in the store outraged us both, bringing up a little convo about such issues, we had a lot of little comments about things, and when my children were born it was just kinda understood that we would breastfeed seemed obvious to us, along with other things we just seem to feel the same about, and we both agree that we do not know it all and we have taken plenty of parent seminars and courses over the years


    i think most people who fall in love must have generally the same ideas about child rearing
    We discuss matters as they arise be sure to do it in private because kids learn quick how to work mom and dad seprately. I often remind my husband he does not want to be like his dad was with him and then he takes a step back and starts over.
    I had a child when I met my husband and he just went along with the way i was doing things, we never discussed what we would do etc we just dealt with things as they happened, we now have 3 children and just take every day as it comes and deal with it then and there
    Yes. It should be required of all couples who are planning to have children. Going with the flow can cause serious problems in the relationship if the two can't agree on anything.
    Yes,so that in the future we will not come across any problem before having children.
    no we shud of discussed condoms more help full

    Do you celebrate the little parenting victories?

    Like when you can see a load of their laundry from start to finish and no pens, tissues or chewing gum got by you?Do you celebrate the little parenting victories?
    Yep...and when your kindergartner manages to wipe himself correctly instead of simply smearing it....I celebrated that yesterday!=)Do you celebrate the little parenting victories?
    oh ya, its weird but i never could imagine that my son would be able to sing his abcs, so when he did for the first time i danced around in excitement. it was the same with rolling over, sitting up, and walking. My biggest celebration is their birthdays of course. its not just a day for them. its my day too, i get to celebrate the fact that i am NOT in hard labor like i was on that exact day so many years ago, and i celebrate the fact that one more year is taken off my sentence.





    ETA:I just wanted to say to DEANS that it is NOT your fault that u washed his wallet. hes a big boy, he should be able to empty his own pockets. my husbands things get washed all the time bc he doesnt empty his pockets, he wouldnt dare blame me for it lol
    What about the spousal victories...uh...I may have washed my husband's wallet last night by accident....totally my fault by the way. He dropped his nasty jeans and went upstairs to shower. I needed them off of the floor because they were so gross. I thought I had taken everything out. At least I got his cell phone, pocket knife...and other things, right?





    * he always empties his pockets, but he was working under my parents' house yesterday. He was disgustingly dirty when he got home...and he was so tired. He dropped his clothes as soon as he got home because he wanted to shower. He would've cleaned his pockets after showering, but I couldn't even wait that long...so I did it...and missed the wallet. Oops. But I agree, it's not my job to do so. I just took it upon myself this time.
    grrrrr.....tissues in the laundry drive me crazy! I don't know how they get past me. A while ago I washed my husbands cell phone! Anyways, to answer your question, yes. Small victories are all I have these days, lol.
    I think it's been a year since anybody drew on the walls. Cake, anybody?





    *babaloo, my husband washed two cellphones in a row. guess what the only kind of damage not covered by the warranty was.
    about that...
    letting me sleep late.
  • clinique
  • What are some good pregnancy/parenting chat room sites?

    I had a baby 14 weeks early and afger some mothers to chat to.What are some good pregnancy/parenting chat room sites?
    I'm not sure about chat rooms, most websites have Groups and/or Forums.





    A good one for advice information, groups, and Q%26amp;A is www.minti.comWhat are some good pregnancy/parenting chat room sites?
    Cafe Mom i heard it was a good one!





    http://www.cafemom.com/
    i love whattoexpect.com. they have message boards though, not actual chat rooms

    With a modification to a parenting plan, is the old one dissolved?

    My husband went back to court and got a modification to the parenting plan. The new plan does not specify some of the things that the old one did, so does it revert back to the old plan for the issues that the new one does not address? For example: the old parenting plan specified which parent had the child on their birthdays, the modified one does not address birthdays at all. So does the old plan still apply in areas where the new one does not address?With a modification to a parenting plan, is the old one dissolved?
    Jello is correct in both areasWith a modification to a parenting plan, is the old one dissolved?
    to answer your bold question....NO





    to answer your detail question...YES

    What do you consider ';Good Parenting'; that may reduce crime rates?

    Adolescent crime is becoming a big thing. Most people said that better parenting would help reduce the problem. What changes or practices would you consider helpful in combating adolescent crime?What do you consider ';Good Parenting'; that may reduce crime rates?
    Good parenting is very relative. It can be dependent on the kind of environment you live in. It is up to the parents on how to balance the so-called authoritative type of disclipine and the democratic style of discipline. There should be a good balance of both styles. Never go beyond the limits just to make a child straight. A parent needs a lot of patience and understanding to be able to reach the minds of their children. Sometimes, parents need to go down to their children's level of understanding, understand their likes and dislikes, expose their selves to the new advances and technologies, be aware of the things that their children are doing. Be open. Always establish a healthy rapport and a line of communication. I believe that the best way for parents to do is not just act as parents, but more as a companion, a confidante and as a friend.What do you consider ';Good Parenting'; that may reduce crime rates?
    If the parent(s) show their love by setting boundaries and enforcing them. That's the biggest thing I can think of. If the parent sets the right example for their kid.
    I dont think that there is one thing that can be done in particular, but I think its a mixture of a lot of things that can help combat adolescent crime. Parents being more attentive to their children and making them accountable for their actions is the most important. Many parents ignore teenagers to give them more room, or just plain dont have time, then are ';surprized'; when thier child has been involved in crime for a long period of time.
    Making a youngster always accountable for their actions.


    I have seen too many parents act like the kids are the boss, so that the kids have no respect for the parents. Kids need to understand the laws, and the difference between right and wrong. They also need to understand that if they break the law, they will go to juvenile hall, and nobody is going to make excuses for them. Teaching responsibility and making good choices is not easy, but it is absolutely imperative, in order to raise a youngster decently. I think if kids break the law twice, they need to go to a ';boot camp'; where they spend 6 weeks of basic training and do community service like scrubbing off graffiti, repainting public areas, etc.





    They need to teach character in the schools. There needs to be after school programs for kids with working parents that teach character, responsibility, service to others, etc. Not just endless basketball and video games. Kids need chores, responsiblilities, and duties. And they need to do kind things for those less fortunate than themselves.