Did you and your partner discuss parenting styles before having children?

Did you talk about breast or bottle feeding, sleep issues, weaning theories, potty training, discipline strategies, etc before you had child(ren), do you discuss matters as they arise, or do you just go with 'the flow'?Did you and your partner discuss parenting styles before having children?
im thinking many parents dont even discuss a second date before having childrenDid you and your partner discuss parenting styles before having children?
My husband and I were very young (unplanned) parents, so we didn't discuss parenting issues beforehand. Fortunately, our son was a very ';easy'; baby and my husband and I are very much on the same wavelength.





Since then, yes, we discuss issues as they arise. If there is a discipline issue, we will usually send children from the room while we discuss it. We believe it is very important to be on the same page of music. We now have three children. Our biological son, and two children from intercountry adoption (as school age children, not babies). We have had to adjust, amend and alter our parenting styles to fit the children and the situation.





Parenting is NOT a ';one size fits all'; sort of thing.
We did discuss some things but have still come across things we don't agree on.





My partner knew I wanted to breastfeed and that was fine, he has struggled with not giving the baby water - he asked every health visitor who comes over when he can give him water and looks upset as each one tells him baby doesn't need water - he and I have fallen out about this a few times!





He also thinks I pick up our son too quickly when he cries - this is usually because I know what is wrong with him and my partner is OK now as he sees our son is just fine - not clingy etc.





Discipline we are totally on the same page which is a big relief as I wouldn't want to have the smacking debate - neither of us agree with it and he has 2 kids who have turned out just fine with no smacks at all!





On most stuff I find we go with the flow, I def need to learn to relax more!
Yes, actually it came about naturally because our friends (two couples) had their babies before us (there's a difference of 14 and 10 months between them and our daughter), we did some babysitting for both of them and discussed the way our friends dealt with certain issues. We agree about almost everything, sometimes if one of us acts in a way that the other doesn't fully accept we try to discuss it later, when our daughter is asleep or in another room.
We discussed all of what you mentioned for almost 2 years before having our first. Along with daily routine responsibilities, household duty expectations for both him and I, shopping strategies, extremely extensive financial responsibility talks, school options, what we wanted to focus on teaching them from birth up, morals, religion, all sorts of things! Neither of us are a ';go with the flow'; type. I am almost OCD with planning, budgeting, organization ect. So we always have a plan in place, a back up plan, and goals 365 days a year. Once one gets done, we move on down the list. Our ';10 year plan'; lol, has been completely accomplished in 4 years. So now we are actually in the process of putting together our new ';10 year plan';. Which will be paying our house off early (8 years left at this rate), and getting a solid retirement started. We want my husband to retire at 45, when our youngest is 18.





It is a caotic mess to budget 1 year in advance, and adjust monthly, plan ahead all of the time ect....but it is paying off more than we ever dreamed it would. The kids are doing exceptionally well, and we are doing great ourselves.





I could not imagine how much worse off we'd be if we just didn't worry about anythig ever, and had no agreements or plans in place.





Once we had a set idea of what one another desired out of life, and were on the same page....then we got pregnant, married, and moved 2200 miles. (we'd been researching realestate nation wide that entire time as well, so that we had a clear picture on the best place for us to raise a family).





I'm 21 now, turning 22 Oct.17th. Our kids turn 4 Nov.2nd, and 1 Dec.4th. This baby will be our last (as planned as well), and is due Dec.26th. We've been together for 7 years next march, and married 4 years last month.





Once we knew we were good together, things just went into overdrive to get the best life we could established in the least amount of time possible. It was the most work, and most fun we have had thus far! lol
I sort of figured that after the 10 years we'd been together befor having kids I had good measure of the man!





We didn't discuss very specific things like sleep issues and such like but more general ' what being a parent' meant to us.





I have to say he went along with almost all of my wishes but he knew I had been around babies much more than him and he honoured that.





We disagree much more now the kids are at school . Things like homework and social matters cause aggro as we have different approaches. Basically I'm a worry guts and he isn't!
During pregnancy, we kind of joked about everything. Once our daughter was here we discussed it as it came up. I think if we would of laid a plan out- it would of changed because not everything goes as we plan :)





A side note about sleeping issues- my bf and I started alternating nights when my daughter was about 2 months old. That way one of us gets a good night sleep every other night. We are still doing that and our daughter is 15 months old. :)
We didn't discuss it exactly but we're very similar people and knew we would have the same opinion on most things. Thankfully, as I am the SAHM, my hubby lets me make all the major decisions and supports me for it. He trusts me to be well researched and to make an educated decision before starting something new - and while that might not work for many, it works for us!


The only thing we ever really disagree on is household chores and money matters - we have yet to have an arguement over how our daughter is raised. I don't think anyone could argue it - she's a bubbly, healthy young girl.
my husband and i discussed whether we wanted children or not and how we feel they should be raised before making the decision to start a family. but it's impossible to discuss everything before hand. as long as you are on the same page with the big stuff, like how to raise them then things like potty training etc can be dealt with as and when its relevant.


hope this helps x
we go with the flow, but through are time together before had it was obvious we felt the same about most issues, for example seeing a woman smack a child in the store outraged us both, bringing up a little convo about such issues, we had a lot of little comments about things, and when my children were born it was just kinda understood that we would breastfeed seemed obvious to us, along with other things we just seem to feel the same about, and we both agree that we do not know it all and we have taken plenty of parent seminars and courses over the years


i think most people who fall in love must have generally the same ideas about child rearing
We discuss matters as they arise be sure to do it in private because kids learn quick how to work mom and dad seprately. I often remind my husband he does not want to be like his dad was with him and then he takes a step back and starts over.
I had a child when I met my husband and he just went along with the way i was doing things, we never discussed what we would do etc we just dealt with things as they happened, we now have 3 children and just take every day as it comes and deal with it then and there
Yes. It should be required of all couples who are planning to have children. Going with the flow can cause serious problems in the relationship if the two can't agree on anything.
Yes,so that in the future we will not come across any problem before having children.
no we shud of discussed condoms more help full