I'm a new mom. My son is only 3 months old and I'm 17. I don't know how any of these things work. Me and the baby's dad separated before I knew I was pregnant.
Please Help MeWhen a child is breastfeeding how does the child custody and parenting times work?
When my husband was in that situation (we were not together yet), his custody was set up as reasonable time, reasonable notice (he had to give his ex enough notice that he wanted his daughter and it had to be a reasonable amount of time) until his daughter was a certian number of months old and then if his ex wanted to keep breastfeeding, she had to pump enough for the weekends when he would have his daughter.When a child is breastfeeding how does the child custody and parenting times work?
You'd have to ask a judge this, honestly. I think sometimes they would wait until the child was weaned to have overnight visits with the breastfed child. Otherwise, if they're just short visits, etc. pump beforehand and give him the bottles of expressed milk.
Depends on your state. In some states if you're breastfeeding it limits the time with dad until a year or so (as to help your success with bfing). If you can post your state I can look up some info for you.
Hi,
I'm just guessing here but can't wait until your son is weaned off breastfeeding first? You could try expressing but some babies don't like bottles. Let your baby dada and the courts be patient
whenever your child is with the father use a breast pump and send bottles of milk over...and when the baby is with you just breast feed.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A question about foster parenting in Australia?
I am only 15 at the moment but I am considering being a foster parent when I grow up. Only I don't know all that much about it. What does it involve, what are the requirements you must have and how do you apply to be one?
Thank you.A question about foster parenting in Australia?
I am 13 but was also thinking of foster parenting. I love children and usually work well with them. I'm going to look at the answers you get. I'm kind of curious (although I'm in USA)
Thank you.A question about foster parenting in Australia?
I am 13 but was also thinking of foster parenting. I love children and usually work well with them. I'm going to look at the answers you get. I'm kind of curious (although I'm in USA)
What are the biggest parenting mistakes today?
What, in your opinion, seem to be trends in bad parenting decisions today? :)What are the biggest parenting mistakes today?
spoiling them, giving in to every little whim....
my goddaughter is so spoilt its unbelievable, shes 8, shes already had 4 phones (all on contract!!!!) shes has xbox360, playstation 3, psp, wii, ds lite, iphone, ipod and a 40'; l.c.d tv in her room (that her mother RENTS she doesn't even own it!!!!!!!) she used to be a sweetie but shes becoming such a brat its really hard to spend time with her, and the way she speaks to her mother is appalling, if she ever spoke to me like that she'd be nursing a smacked ****. ive actually had to tell her off in front of her mother for the way she speaks to her (her mother is too lazy to discipline). when she bought her her first phone (just because she asked for one) she came to her three days later and said ';mum this phone is rubbish you can only get 30 songs on it'; ....so what did my friend do? BOUGHT HER ANOTHER ONE!!!!! now if she was mine i would of said ';oh?, is it rubbish?, i'll have it back then'; i've tried hinting that she needs to pull it back abit because as shes getting older things are getting more expensive and once she goes to high school this 'pampered princess' attitude isnt going to wash with the other kids- and she's going to end up being bullied.
rant over- lol. basically spoiling your kids does them, and you, far more harm than good. What are the biggest parenting mistakes today?
The biggest mistake I see is giving too much to our children without the fundamentals of how obtaining something works. It teaches our children that all they have to do is want it and it's theirs. Back in my day kids got paper routes, cut lawns and babysat for those big ticket wants and used their allowance (which they received by doing chores) for the candy store, movies and ice cream. Too many people today are looking for that ';Get rich quick'; scheme, so they don't have to work for what they want. I think this is largely due to being handed things as children instead of working for them. Handing things to kids without them working for it teaches poor money management and poor work ethics, which will effect the economy even more in the future.
Biggest Mistake Ever...Spending Little TIME with your Children...95% of Parenting Issues would be solved if Parents would spend more time with their kids.
Lack of Proper and CONSISTENT Discipline
Parents not knowing their children's Friends...';Show me your friends and I'll TELL you WHO you are';
Parents NOT Listening to their Children.
Parents NOT talking to and REALLY getting to know their Kids as Individuals.
Not saying I LOVE YOU on a DAILY basis
Not Hugging, Kissing and showing Physical Affection DAILY...Kids Need LOVE and DISCIPLINE to Grow.
And Finally...Parents that soothe their conscience for NOT doing the above mentioned by Over-Indulgence of their Children with Material Possessions
My own biggest parenting flaw is that i gave my older daughter too many sweets when she was younger and now she has some cavities (which have been attended to now) and that sometime i cant say no to my daughters when they ask for something.....lol but the biggest flaw i see in other parents is when they let their kids do anything that they want and do not set some limits and give their kids phones, ipods, full access to the internet at such young ages. i mean if a child is under 16 they shouldnt even be allowed to use the computer if its not kidsafe already. sorry for those 14-15 year olds, but they really arent mature enough to know whether someone is trying to find them and do them harm. I learned that the hard way on my own.
For the younger ones - I would have to say that it's not letting them do the things that ';matter'; to them. One time I saw a mother yelling at her toddler because he wanted to walk on the curb (they were in a parking lot, so he was safe and holding her hand), all he wanted to do was be up a little higher and walk on the curb and she wouldn't let him. I would have done her no harm to let him walk there and would have brought a smile to his face. One time my daughter asked me if she could have 2 eggs, she was about 5 at the time, so I gave them to her - she cracked them in a bowl and played with them for an hour. A friend of mine came over and said she couldn't believe I was letting her play with eggs, I told her the cost was about 20 cents and she was not being harmed in any way besides she was having a blast. I will never understand why parents have to be so ';by the book'; sometimes. In the older ones I would say - Not listening. So many times parents say well you could have came to me, when that's what they have been trying to do all along. And not paying attention, you can often help your son or daughter when they don't even ask for help if you just pay attention.
Not actually parenting. Children aren't Chia pets, they don't just need water and a window. I hate when I see mothers and/or fathers treating their children like housemates or buddies or, even worse, being so into their own things that a child becomes an accessory rather than a focus.
I honestly feel that people should have to obtain a license to parent or complete some sort of thorough degree program and psychoanalysis. Crazy, foolish and disturbed begets crazy, foolish, and disturbed.
People don't tell their kids they love them enough. Another thing, people are putting their kids on '; behavioral'; drugs like Ritalin. Kids don't need drugs, they just kids. What happened to the kids of the 70's and 60's, they are some people parents or grandparents now. That generation seems productive even without drugs so why do our kids today need any.
Being far too lenient. Letting the little darlings 'express themselves' to the detriment of other people. Being afraid to punish bad behaviour in any way, instead only focusing on the good. Giving their opinions as much value as those of adults - duh! They're kids! By their very nature they know less about everything! Listen, sure, but you don't have to take them too seriously. I work in a shop, and the amount of times I hear parents asking their tiny children which coat/shoes they want drives me crazy. She's 2! She doesn't care that it's freezing out, or raining. She wants the pink one!
Lots of things :).First, not enough freedom for children.I hated it when my mom wouldn't drop me off at the movies, much less than let me eat at my own table at restraunts.Secondly, spoiling those little brats =).No 10 year-old has use for a cell-phone.Same with a personal computer or gigantic TV and fancy clothes.Third, bugging into their lives.If they feel comfortable telling you about things, don't push it.But if you have suspicions of drugs or something like that, it's totally fine. Fourth, not pushing them enough for their education.And fifth, not spending enough time with them.They may tell you they don't want to spend time with you but kids are complicated.
:D
I have a toddler and to tell you the truth the biggest mistake I see my friends doing is plopping their toddlers down in front of the tv. My son gets maybe 10 minutes a day of tv and that is when daddy comes home and watches a baby einstein dvd before dinner. other then that when we are in a room it is the radio and toys! another is discipline! Giving into tantrums and giving the kid what they want.
spanking kids. it's a crap shoot at best. i was whipped like a dog when i was a kid and turned out just fine. my niece was spanked a lot lighter than i ever was and she's completely rebelled against her parents. a few more years and she'll run away, for sure.
I think parents giving in when their child throws a tantrum is a big one. It teaches them that if they scream and cry they get what they want, which is a hard cycle to break even as they hit teenage years.
not spending enough time with them, not spending enough quality time with them, lack of discipline, over structured (not enough time to be kids), not instilling ethics and morals, not encouraging reading, not enough spanking
Letting them become overweight; not stressing the importance of healthy foods by making them each and every meal; and not making sure they get lots of exercise.
from my own observation --
neglecting their emotional health.
believing that ipods and computers and cell phones will make up for the fact we don't spend any quality or family time with them.
Letting the kids get involved in illegal activities(underage sex, taking illegal drugs, underage drinking.
Not paying enough attention to the kids. Let TV, VDO games, computer be their friends instead of getting up and do activities with them.
Being impatient towards them. Yelling and scraming at them, not paying attention to them.
Spanking - parents who spank teach violence.
letting the media raise the kids.
Lack of discipline, and trying to be their ';friend'; instead of a parent.
Parents forcing their children to play sports that they have no interest in.
spoiling them, giving in to every little whim....
my goddaughter is so spoilt its unbelievable, shes 8, shes already had 4 phones (all on contract!!!!) shes has xbox360, playstation 3, psp, wii, ds lite, iphone, ipod and a 40'; l.c.d tv in her room (that her mother RENTS she doesn't even own it!!!!!!!) she used to be a sweetie but shes becoming such a brat its really hard to spend time with her, and the way she speaks to her mother is appalling, if she ever spoke to me like that she'd be nursing a smacked ****. ive actually had to tell her off in front of her mother for the way she speaks to her (her mother is too lazy to discipline). when she bought her her first phone (just because she asked for one) she came to her three days later and said ';mum this phone is rubbish you can only get 30 songs on it'; ....so what did my friend do? BOUGHT HER ANOTHER ONE!!!!! now if she was mine i would of said ';oh?, is it rubbish?, i'll have it back then'; i've tried hinting that she needs to pull it back abit because as shes getting older things are getting more expensive and once she goes to high school this 'pampered princess' attitude isnt going to wash with the other kids- and she's going to end up being bullied.
rant over- lol. basically spoiling your kids does them, and you, far more harm than good. What are the biggest parenting mistakes today?
The biggest mistake I see is giving too much to our children without the fundamentals of how obtaining something works. It teaches our children that all they have to do is want it and it's theirs. Back in my day kids got paper routes, cut lawns and babysat for those big ticket wants and used their allowance (which they received by doing chores) for the candy store, movies and ice cream. Too many people today are looking for that ';Get rich quick'; scheme, so they don't have to work for what they want. I think this is largely due to being handed things as children instead of working for them. Handing things to kids without them working for it teaches poor money management and poor work ethics, which will effect the economy even more in the future.
Biggest Mistake Ever...Spending Little TIME with your Children...95% of Parenting Issues would be solved if Parents would spend more time with their kids.
Lack of Proper and CONSISTENT Discipline
Parents not knowing their children's Friends...';Show me your friends and I'll TELL you WHO you are';
Parents NOT Listening to their Children.
Parents NOT talking to and REALLY getting to know their Kids as Individuals.
Not saying I LOVE YOU on a DAILY basis
Not Hugging, Kissing and showing Physical Affection DAILY...Kids Need LOVE and DISCIPLINE to Grow.
And Finally...Parents that soothe their conscience for NOT doing the above mentioned by Over-Indulgence of their Children with Material Possessions
My own biggest parenting flaw is that i gave my older daughter too many sweets when she was younger and now she has some cavities (which have been attended to now) and that sometime i cant say no to my daughters when they ask for something.....lol but the biggest flaw i see in other parents is when they let their kids do anything that they want and do not set some limits and give their kids phones, ipods, full access to the internet at such young ages. i mean if a child is under 16 they shouldnt even be allowed to use the computer if its not kidsafe already. sorry for those 14-15 year olds, but they really arent mature enough to know whether someone is trying to find them and do them harm. I learned that the hard way on my own.
For the younger ones - I would have to say that it's not letting them do the things that ';matter'; to them. One time I saw a mother yelling at her toddler because he wanted to walk on the curb (they were in a parking lot, so he was safe and holding her hand), all he wanted to do was be up a little higher and walk on the curb and she wouldn't let him. I would have done her no harm to let him walk there and would have brought a smile to his face. One time my daughter asked me if she could have 2 eggs, she was about 5 at the time, so I gave them to her - she cracked them in a bowl and played with them for an hour. A friend of mine came over and said she couldn't believe I was letting her play with eggs, I told her the cost was about 20 cents and she was not being harmed in any way besides she was having a blast. I will never understand why parents have to be so ';by the book'; sometimes. In the older ones I would say - Not listening. So many times parents say well you could have came to me, when that's what they have been trying to do all along. And not paying attention, you can often help your son or daughter when they don't even ask for help if you just pay attention.
Not actually parenting. Children aren't Chia pets, they don't just need water and a window. I hate when I see mothers and/or fathers treating their children like housemates or buddies or, even worse, being so into their own things that a child becomes an accessory rather than a focus.
I honestly feel that people should have to obtain a license to parent or complete some sort of thorough degree program and psychoanalysis. Crazy, foolish and disturbed begets crazy, foolish, and disturbed.
People don't tell their kids they love them enough. Another thing, people are putting their kids on '; behavioral'; drugs like Ritalin. Kids don't need drugs, they just kids. What happened to the kids of the 70's and 60's, they are some people parents or grandparents now. That generation seems productive even without drugs so why do our kids today need any.
Being far too lenient. Letting the little darlings 'express themselves' to the detriment of other people. Being afraid to punish bad behaviour in any way, instead only focusing on the good. Giving their opinions as much value as those of adults - duh! They're kids! By their very nature they know less about everything! Listen, sure, but you don't have to take them too seriously. I work in a shop, and the amount of times I hear parents asking their tiny children which coat/shoes they want drives me crazy. She's 2! She doesn't care that it's freezing out, or raining. She wants the pink one!
Lots of things :).First, not enough freedom for children.I hated it when my mom wouldn't drop me off at the movies, much less than let me eat at my own table at restraunts.Secondly, spoiling those little brats =).No 10 year-old has use for a cell-phone.Same with a personal computer or gigantic TV and fancy clothes.Third, bugging into their lives.If they feel comfortable telling you about things, don't push it.But if you have suspicions of drugs or something like that, it's totally fine. Fourth, not pushing them enough for their education.And fifth, not spending enough time with them.They may tell you they don't want to spend time with you but kids are complicated.
:D
I have a toddler and to tell you the truth the biggest mistake I see my friends doing is plopping their toddlers down in front of the tv. My son gets maybe 10 minutes a day of tv and that is when daddy comes home and watches a baby einstein dvd before dinner. other then that when we are in a room it is the radio and toys! another is discipline! Giving into tantrums and giving the kid what they want.
spanking kids. it's a crap shoot at best. i was whipped like a dog when i was a kid and turned out just fine. my niece was spanked a lot lighter than i ever was and she's completely rebelled against her parents. a few more years and she'll run away, for sure.
I think parents giving in when their child throws a tantrum is a big one. It teaches them that if they scream and cry they get what they want, which is a hard cycle to break even as they hit teenage years.
not spending enough time with them, not spending enough quality time with them, lack of discipline, over structured (not enough time to be kids), not instilling ethics and morals, not encouraging reading, not enough spanking
Letting them become overweight; not stressing the importance of healthy foods by making them each and every meal; and not making sure they get lots of exercise.
from my own observation --
neglecting their emotional health.
believing that ipods and computers and cell phones will make up for the fact we don't spend any quality or family time with them.
Letting the kids get involved in illegal activities(underage sex, taking illegal drugs, underage drinking.
Not paying enough attention to the kids. Let TV, VDO games, computer be their friends instead of getting up and do activities with them.
Being impatient towards them. Yelling and scraming at them, not paying attention to them.
Spanking - parents who spank teach violence.
letting the media raise the kids.
Lack of discipline, and trying to be their ';friend'; instead of a parent.
Parents forcing their children to play sports that they have no interest in.
How much of your parenting is determined by the home you were raised in?
I'm not sure, really. I personally feel the amount of influence your family had on your parenting is directly related to whether you're a person who tends to go along with things for the sake of it or because it's easier, or whether you're a critical thinker and make up your own mind about things.
I grew up the first 11 years of my life with an abusive, alcoholic, wannabe actress mother who believe in ';traditional parenting,'; loved to control me and was proud of the level of ';obedience'; (see: compliance out of fear) she had from me, and liked to take her troubles out on me by mashing me up.
I spent the rest of my childhood with loving fathers who had an extremely liberal parenting style, who treated me like a small adult rather than a child, and trusted me to make my own choices. They never sought to control me, but rather to model responsibility and decency in their own actions and let me make the decision about what kind of person I wanted to be.
I use my mother as a how-to of bad parenting, and I use my parents as role models for good parenting and good people. There are a few things I do differently from them, but not all that much.
It's always a choice, whether you do what your parents did or not. Some people just don't like to think for themselves, so they keep doing the same things their parents did, using the always reassuring justifications (that may or may not be true) of: ';Well, I turned out fine,'; or ';It didn't affect me.';
You can either keep doing that, out of laziness and refusal to change because it's difficult, or you can honestly examine what was good and bad about the home you were raised in. Some people (upon truly honest examination without the justifications for tradition) will do what their parents did, some will turn away from it. Most, I'd wager, would (IF they bothered to think about it) settle on a mix, taking the good of what their parents did and replacing the bad with a new idea.
But most people don't think for themselves. They go along with whatever their parents, the church, their group or culture at large did, without thinking, simply because it's easier.How much of your parenting is determined by the home you were raised in?
I think that the home I was raised in determines 90 percent of my parenting. My husband and I both came from divorced families. His mom is/was a drug addict. His father raised him and never pushed him in school. I think that he wants us to be more involved with our kids because his parents never were with him. My parents, though divorced, always got along and always had a united front when it came to me. I think that helped a lot. We also decided that I would stay at home until the kids started school full time.How much of your parenting is determined by the home you were raised in?
All of it, as I parent almost entirely in opposition to the way I was raised. I've kept the parts that work, and thrown out the rest.
Isn't all of our parenting influenced by the formative adult-child relationships we experienced ourselves? For most (although not all) of us, that's the people who raised us.
I think in many ways, parents do the opposite of what their own parents did.
Think about it: if your mother was insanely strict and was always searching your room for signs of drugs or condoms, and you always hated her for that, you'd probably be a more lax parent, allowing your child privacy.
On the other hand, if your parents gave you free rein and respect your privacy, but you knew that they were stupid (little did they know about that stash of coke and KY jelly and condoms in your closet!), then you'd probably feel you were being smart by going through your teenager's room.
Oh my, I think it matters tremendously! We learn behaviors from our parents, that is why it is so important to treat kids fairly because these things cycle. If you want a major change from how you were raised it will take great effort and maybe counseling. morals and values are learned behaviors.
Unfortunately, very little.
50%new lipstick
I grew up the first 11 years of my life with an abusive, alcoholic, wannabe actress mother who believe in ';traditional parenting,'; loved to control me and was proud of the level of ';obedience'; (see: compliance out of fear) she had from me, and liked to take her troubles out on me by mashing me up.
I spent the rest of my childhood with loving fathers who had an extremely liberal parenting style, who treated me like a small adult rather than a child, and trusted me to make my own choices. They never sought to control me, but rather to model responsibility and decency in their own actions and let me make the decision about what kind of person I wanted to be.
I use my mother as a how-to of bad parenting, and I use my parents as role models for good parenting and good people. There are a few things I do differently from them, but not all that much.
It's always a choice, whether you do what your parents did or not. Some people just don't like to think for themselves, so they keep doing the same things their parents did, using the always reassuring justifications (that may or may not be true) of: ';Well, I turned out fine,'; or ';It didn't affect me.';
You can either keep doing that, out of laziness and refusal to change because it's difficult, or you can honestly examine what was good and bad about the home you were raised in. Some people (upon truly honest examination without the justifications for tradition) will do what their parents did, some will turn away from it. Most, I'd wager, would (IF they bothered to think about it) settle on a mix, taking the good of what their parents did and replacing the bad with a new idea.
But most people don't think for themselves. They go along with whatever their parents, the church, their group or culture at large did, without thinking, simply because it's easier.How much of your parenting is determined by the home you were raised in?
I think that the home I was raised in determines 90 percent of my parenting. My husband and I both came from divorced families. His mom is/was a drug addict. His father raised him and never pushed him in school. I think that he wants us to be more involved with our kids because his parents never were with him. My parents, though divorced, always got along and always had a united front when it came to me. I think that helped a lot. We also decided that I would stay at home until the kids started school full time.How much of your parenting is determined by the home you were raised in?
All of it, as I parent almost entirely in opposition to the way I was raised. I've kept the parts that work, and thrown out the rest.
Isn't all of our parenting influenced by the formative adult-child relationships we experienced ourselves? For most (although not all) of us, that's the people who raised us.
I think in many ways, parents do the opposite of what their own parents did.
Think about it: if your mother was insanely strict and was always searching your room for signs of drugs or condoms, and you always hated her for that, you'd probably be a more lax parent, allowing your child privacy.
On the other hand, if your parents gave you free rein and respect your privacy, but you knew that they were stupid (little did they know about that stash of coke and KY jelly and condoms in your closet!), then you'd probably feel you were being smart by going through your teenager's room.
Oh my, I think it matters tremendously! We learn behaviors from our parents, that is why it is so important to treat kids fairly because these things cycle. If you want a major change from how you were raised it will take great effort and maybe counseling. morals and values are learned behaviors.
Unfortunately, very little.
50%
What do you think are the four most important part in parenting?
To be more specific, what do you think are the four most important part in parenting a toddler? I know the most important thing is - love but other than this. For example, is Nutrition important? What else? Thanks for your help!
xx. [B]wendii[E]What do you think are the four most important part in parenting?
Hopefully you're lucky enough not to have a picky eater. Nutrition is very important. If your toddler (like mine when he was one) is a picky eater, make sure he/she gets a multi-vitamin daily (Flintstone with Iron is good.) and make sure the foods he/she eats are mostly healthy. It's also important to make sure your child eats foods high in protein, calcium, and gets juices and fruits that are high in Vit C. These are good for helping him/her grow healthy and strong.
As far as discipline and rules go, you need to be consistant. Toddlers need set rules that don't change - especially for really big no-nos. Time outs worked well at that stage, but as your child gets older, grounding and/or taking away privilages is a good motivator as well. In most areas, positive reinforcement (praising is best) is really good because it makes your child feel that you value him/her. It also helps reinforce what you want your child to do and lets your child know you're glad they made the right decision when avoiding a no-no.
Some people consider holding and affection as spoiling. It's not. Your child needs love and affection - the more the merrier. The only way a child gets spoiled is when you give them everything they want all the time or let them get away with breaking your important rules. If your child throws tantrums, don't give in. Walk away until it's over, even if you have to lock yourself in your bedroom (been there, done that). If you're in a shopping centre and the meltdown happens there, take your child either to the bathroom or car, or just leave. It's not worth it to stay in the shop with a screaming kid.
Then there's the question of development. Some children develop at a faster or slower rate than others. This is where you have to be patient as well as pay attention. You should never force your child to potty train. Just let it happen naturally, but do encourage it and make the potty chair available as well. My son took a long time, but eventually did potty train by the time he was four. If your child hasn't start talking by the time he's two and a half, you might want to have him/her evaluated incase he/she needs early intervention for autism, speech delays, and other learning disabilities. Also remember, when it comes to learning and developing, with small children it's one step forward, two steps back. Just try to be patient and it will happen when it happens. I hope I helped.What do you think are the four most important part in parenting?
Letting them lern, grow in to their own personality
Teaching them whats right and wrong
Caring (food, clothes and shelter...)
Being responsible
1.Time
2.Provide for
3. Educate them
4.Humor and open-mindedness
Above all of course what you said Love!
Patience.
Attention.
Make time for your children by being an active participant in their daily life
Educating your child intrinsically by instilling the right values in him or her and insisting that he get a formal education as far as possible
Screening the child's friends and knowing his whereabouts t all times.
Finally offering guidance daily and backing your guidelines up with the appropriate discipline when needed.
unconditional love, good nutrition, patience and guidance
Love is #1, like you said.
Consistency #2, because your toddler needs to know what is ';yes'; and what is ';no';, and stay consistent.
#3 I'd say Education. I have a friend that does NOT work with her child, and it shows. Your child needs to have advances and challenges to get smart.
#4- Interaction. Pay attention to them. It's sad when a mother expects her child to entertain themselves all day.. you need to encourage play time %26amp; also participate!
nutrition, health, immunizations, protection, patience, and HUMOR (I like that one-my son is so funny!).. they are all important too... along with clothing the child %26amp; keeping a clean environment!
1: Spending time with them
2: Making them happy
3: Giving them good food
4: Giving them healthy and nutrional food
Breast feed and lot of cuddling.
1)give them attention
2)take them to play
3)feed them good quality food
4)read them a story or get one of their teddies and make funny voices with them to make your toddlers laugh =)
keeping them healthy, keeping them safe, patience, and flexibility on the parents part.
well instead of just saying nutrition it would be under health I think, cause nutrition is important but so is making sure they get enough sleep and are seen by a doctor when needed and vacinated as required among other things like hygenie too, safety is a big one making sure your child isn't running out onto the road or opening cupboards that have cleaners in them or falling down stairs etc.., discipline is also a big one they have to learn where they stand in the family and not to let them overrun it, but the discipline plays off of the other 2, cause you make the rules for a reason which is to keep them healthy and they need to learn to respect and abide by it, also education is a very important one, teaching them things about life and acedemic things as well. So lets see we got Health, safety, Discipline and Education. 4 things for ya
to always be there, understanding there needs, never to say i told you so, and to be there best friend
keep them away from harm, love, feed him, teach them
1. Spending Time With Them - Helping them learn, play, etc
2. Patience
3. mnutrition is very important and they carry it with them for life
4. Discipline - they need to know boundaries
All of them are just as important as they other because I think they need everything in balance.
Patience is the big one with a toddler. And nutrition, like you said. Also spending time with them, and teaching new skills. Manners would be my last one. I hate seeing kids that refuse to say please or thank you, or don't share with others. We have taught my son proper manners from when he could first speak, and people are always commenting on them
1, Showing love and affection
2, Taking time to spend with your child to play and teach
3, Learning to listen and to be patient
4, Not being afraid to discipline a child who behaves badly.
And of course nutrition is important-you could speak to a local health care officer to decide on the right kind of diet for your child.
Toddlers = patients
understanding
consistency when teaching a toddler
routine
xx. [B]wendii[E]What do you think are the four most important part in parenting?
Hopefully you're lucky enough not to have a picky eater. Nutrition is very important. If your toddler (like mine when he was one) is a picky eater, make sure he/she gets a multi-vitamin daily (Flintstone with Iron is good.) and make sure the foods he/she eats are mostly healthy. It's also important to make sure your child eats foods high in protein, calcium, and gets juices and fruits that are high in Vit C. These are good for helping him/her grow healthy and strong.
As far as discipline and rules go, you need to be consistant. Toddlers need set rules that don't change - especially for really big no-nos. Time outs worked well at that stage, but as your child gets older, grounding and/or taking away privilages is a good motivator as well. In most areas, positive reinforcement (praising is best) is really good because it makes your child feel that you value him/her. It also helps reinforce what you want your child to do and lets your child know you're glad they made the right decision when avoiding a no-no.
Some people consider holding and affection as spoiling. It's not. Your child needs love and affection - the more the merrier. The only way a child gets spoiled is when you give them everything they want all the time or let them get away with breaking your important rules. If your child throws tantrums, don't give in. Walk away until it's over, even if you have to lock yourself in your bedroom (been there, done that). If you're in a shopping centre and the meltdown happens there, take your child either to the bathroom or car, or just leave. It's not worth it to stay in the shop with a screaming kid.
Then there's the question of development. Some children develop at a faster or slower rate than others. This is where you have to be patient as well as pay attention. You should never force your child to potty train. Just let it happen naturally, but do encourage it and make the potty chair available as well. My son took a long time, but eventually did potty train by the time he was four. If your child hasn't start talking by the time he's two and a half, you might want to have him/her evaluated incase he/she needs early intervention for autism, speech delays, and other learning disabilities. Also remember, when it comes to learning and developing, with small children it's one step forward, two steps back. Just try to be patient and it will happen when it happens. I hope I helped.What do you think are the four most important part in parenting?
Letting them lern, grow in to their own personality
Teaching them whats right and wrong
Caring (food, clothes and shelter...)
Being responsible
1.Time
2.Provide for
3. Educate them
4.Humor and open-mindedness
Above all of course what you said Love!
Patience.
Attention.
Make time for your children by being an active participant in their daily life
Educating your child intrinsically by instilling the right values in him or her and insisting that he get a formal education as far as possible
Screening the child's friends and knowing his whereabouts t all times.
Finally offering guidance daily and backing your guidelines up with the appropriate discipline when needed.
unconditional love, good nutrition, patience and guidance
Love is #1, like you said.
Consistency #2, because your toddler needs to know what is ';yes'; and what is ';no';, and stay consistent.
#3 I'd say Education. I have a friend that does NOT work with her child, and it shows. Your child needs to have advances and challenges to get smart.
#4- Interaction. Pay attention to them. It's sad when a mother expects her child to entertain themselves all day.. you need to encourage play time %26amp; also participate!
nutrition, health, immunizations, protection, patience, and HUMOR (I like that one-my son is so funny!).. they are all important too... along with clothing the child %26amp; keeping a clean environment!
1: Spending time with them
2: Making them happy
3: Giving them good food
4: Giving them healthy and nutrional food
Breast feed and lot of cuddling.
1)give them attention
2)take them to play
3)feed them good quality food
4)read them a story or get one of their teddies and make funny voices with them to make your toddlers laugh =)
keeping them healthy, keeping them safe, patience, and flexibility on the parents part.
well instead of just saying nutrition it would be under health I think, cause nutrition is important but so is making sure they get enough sleep and are seen by a doctor when needed and vacinated as required among other things like hygenie too, safety is a big one making sure your child isn't running out onto the road or opening cupboards that have cleaners in them or falling down stairs etc.., discipline is also a big one they have to learn where they stand in the family and not to let them overrun it, but the discipline plays off of the other 2, cause you make the rules for a reason which is to keep them healthy and they need to learn to respect and abide by it, also education is a very important one, teaching them things about life and acedemic things as well. So lets see we got Health, safety, Discipline and Education. 4 things for ya
to always be there, understanding there needs, never to say i told you so, and to be there best friend
keep them away from harm, love, feed him, teach them
1. Spending Time With Them - Helping them learn, play, etc
2. Patience
3. mnutrition is very important and they carry it with them for life
4. Discipline - they need to know boundaries
All of them are just as important as they other because I think they need everything in balance.
Patience is the big one with a toddler. And nutrition, like you said. Also spending time with them, and teaching new skills. Manners would be my last one. I hate seeing kids that refuse to say please or thank you, or don't share with others. We have taught my son proper manners from when he could first speak, and people are always commenting on them
1, Showing love and affection
2, Taking time to spend with your child to play and teach
3, Learning to listen and to be patient
4, Not being afraid to discipline a child who behaves badly.
And of course nutrition is important-you could speak to a local health care officer to decide on the right kind of diet for your child.
Toddlers = patients
understanding
consistency when teaching a toddler
routine
What is your favorite parenting blog?
I'm looking for humorous blogs created my moms or dads. Do you have a favorite one you'd like to share with me? If so, please post the link.
Thanks!What is your favorite parenting blog?
Check ot cafemom.com! It's awsome!
Thanks!What is your favorite parenting blog?
Check ot cafemom.com! It's awsome!
What is the best parenting magazine?
I love my two kids who are seven months old and would like a magazine with some ideas on fun stuff to do or that will help them learn more. So if you have any thoughts thank you.What is the best parenting magazine?
I also subscribe to Parents magazine. I like it alot, there is usually alot of good articles in it. I found a deal where I payed 12 dollars and got a 3 year subscption so its pretty inexpensive. Oh and, they send me deals all the time to pay for one more year for myself and I get 2 friends a years subsciption.What is the best parenting magazine?
Parenting
Child
Kids
I think they're all pretty boring....
Try doing a web search. You'll probably find more there.
I subscribe to Parents magazine. I love it very much, and I read it cover to cover every month. It is just so informative and useful :)
Family Fun
This rocks, so many good projects, ideas, parenting advice...
I like it because it is broken down into age appropriate categories.
Trust me, and it is cheap!
$12.00/year 12 issues
I like Parents. I also like the What to Expect books (I know its not a magazine, but they're still informative.)
I also subscribe to Parents magazine. I like it alot, there is usually alot of good articles in it. I found a deal where I payed 12 dollars and got a 3 year subscption so its pretty inexpensive. Oh and, they send me deals all the time to pay for one more year for myself and I get 2 friends a years subsciption.What is the best parenting magazine?
Parenting
Child
Kids
I think they're all pretty boring....
Try doing a web search. You'll probably find more there.
I subscribe to Parents magazine. I love it very much, and I read it cover to cover every month. It is just so informative and useful :)
Family Fun
This rocks, so many good projects, ideas, parenting advice...
I like it because it is broken down into age appropriate categories.
Trust me, and it is cheap!
$12.00/year 12 issues
I like Parents. I also like the What to Expect books (I know its not a magazine, but they're still informative.)
What is some ';bad'; parenting advice you have received?
When one of my daughter's was less than 2 weeks old an old friend of mine suggested that I needed to ';train'; her to go longer between feedings. She was basically suggesting that I let my helpless less than 2 week old baby cry if she woke up hungry before a certain amount of time has passed. Of course I threw that advice out the window.What is some ';bad'; parenting advice you have received?
That I should ignore my sons crying at 3 weeks old cause he's getting spoiled - I mean, come one!! A newborn crys because its their only way to communicate there needs!! - and comfort is a legitimate need at that age too!!!
I also saw a couple of people on here advise one woman to let her four week old cry it out in the night, thats just terrible!!What is some ';bad'; parenting advice you have received?
Bad Baby Parenting Advice:
*give him a spoon full of plain yogurt before bed to help him sleep better
*he only needs to eat every 2-3 hours, so you don't have to feed him more often than that
Bad General Parenting Advice:
*he's going to walk all over you if you never punish him
*you need to be using time outs
*he needs to learn that you're the boss and you're in charge
When I was trying to BF, my LC told me it was better to let my son (who was 2 weeks old) cry out of hunger then to give him a bottle of formula. I ignored that one.
My mom told me to put cereal in my sons bottle to help him sleep better at night. I ignored that one too.
My friend told me not to let my son stand on his legs because it would cause him to be bow legged. Ignored too.
My mother told me to give my newborn son water. That didn't sound like a good idea to me, and when I asked the nurse at the hospital, she also said it wasn't a great idea. Everyone also told me that because I carried my son around pretty much all the time when he was a newborn that he was going to be spoiled. Now hes 9 months old and hardly ever wants to be held. I say, take everything with a grain of salt and do what you think is best.
My Mother in law told me to just send her to bed without dinner one night cause she was throwing a fit while eatting. I said then she wont sleep through the night like she normaly does and she said so babys dont sleep though the night. But my dughter has been since she was a month old. I would never send my child to bed without dinner at 3 months old maybe 10 yrs but not as a baby.
let he cry it out cause he's getting spoiled at 2months old..
c'mon.. no he's not..
i'm sorry i had to laugh at some of the *bad* advice some people got cause i did them and never had a problem at all..
one of them is putting cereal in my sons bottle.. never once did this cause me a problem..
Quote: When you're baby is sick or restless, rub liquor on their gums and/or on the insides of the cheeks. When on the road or on the go, dip the pacifier in spirits.
W
T
F
!
!
!
!
My step mother told me I should give my daughters-age 10 mos, and 2 1/2 years baby tylenol each night. It helps settle them down. She said that is what she does with her kids. Yeah, I am really going to unnecessarily pump drugs in to my kids.
The worst advice I got was to put rice in my daughter bottle at 1 month of age. I was a new Mom and even I knew this was wrong. This woman was a mother of 4 and a grandma.
Don't co-sleep, let him cry, start solids at four months. No one really has the guts to tell me to do them but my husband's family strongly insinuates at times.
When my son was 6 months old my MIL told my to put him on skim milk because he was slow gaining weight he is also allergic to milk. She says that's what she did with her 2 children to help them gain weight.
I was told to get the baby to sleep through the night, I need to put them in there crib from day one and let them cry a few nights.....after this, they will sleep through the night!
How horrible!!
To let my son CIO so he'd sleep in his crib. I heard this from EVERYONE I know IRL.. It just went against everything my husband %26amp; I felt was right.
Any advice that goes: ';Well, I did (something the doctor says not to) and my son turned out fine.'; Argh.
Put cereal in his bottle
Bite him back
Spank him (at age 2)
i used to put rice cereal in my daughters bottle and she's fine!!!
Put cereal in his milk... he was only a month old, geez.
honestly, putting cereal in their bottle isnt a bad thing. it helps fill their bellies more. and as long as its not like mush it will go down fine and the baby will be happy and full therefore sleep longer. and when your kid is the one biting everyone at school, biting them back will teach them a lesson. my friends mom bit her back when she was young and she swears it was like a wake up call. yeah, it seems mean, but obviously youre an adult, dont break the skin or anything but... it works.
i just wanted to put that out there.
That I should ignore my sons crying at 3 weeks old cause he's getting spoiled - I mean, come one!! A newborn crys because its their only way to communicate there needs!! - and comfort is a legitimate need at that age too!!!
I also saw a couple of people on here advise one woman to let her four week old cry it out in the night, thats just terrible!!What is some ';bad'; parenting advice you have received?
Bad Baby Parenting Advice:
*give him a spoon full of plain yogurt before bed to help him sleep better
*he only needs to eat every 2-3 hours, so you don't have to feed him more often than that
Bad General Parenting Advice:
*he's going to walk all over you if you never punish him
*you need to be using time outs
*he needs to learn that you're the boss and you're in charge
When I was trying to BF, my LC told me it was better to let my son (who was 2 weeks old) cry out of hunger then to give him a bottle of formula. I ignored that one.
My mom told me to put cereal in my sons bottle to help him sleep better at night. I ignored that one too.
My friend told me not to let my son stand on his legs because it would cause him to be bow legged. Ignored too.
My mother told me to give my newborn son water. That didn't sound like a good idea to me, and when I asked the nurse at the hospital, she also said it wasn't a great idea. Everyone also told me that because I carried my son around pretty much all the time when he was a newborn that he was going to be spoiled. Now hes 9 months old and hardly ever wants to be held. I say, take everything with a grain of salt and do what you think is best.
My Mother in law told me to just send her to bed without dinner one night cause she was throwing a fit while eatting. I said then she wont sleep through the night like she normaly does and she said so babys dont sleep though the night. But my dughter has been since she was a month old. I would never send my child to bed without dinner at 3 months old maybe 10 yrs but not as a baby.
let he cry it out cause he's getting spoiled at 2months old..
c'mon.. no he's not..
i'm sorry i had to laugh at some of the *bad* advice some people got cause i did them and never had a problem at all..
one of them is putting cereal in my sons bottle.. never once did this cause me a problem..
Quote: When you're baby is sick or restless, rub liquor on their gums and/or on the insides of the cheeks. When on the road or on the go, dip the pacifier in spirits.
W
T
F
!
!
!
!
My step mother told me I should give my daughters-age 10 mos, and 2 1/2 years baby tylenol each night. It helps settle them down. She said that is what she does with her kids. Yeah, I am really going to unnecessarily pump drugs in to my kids.
The worst advice I got was to put rice in my daughter bottle at 1 month of age. I was a new Mom and even I knew this was wrong. This woman was a mother of 4 and a grandma.
Don't co-sleep, let him cry, start solids at four months. No one really has the guts to tell me to do them but my husband's family strongly insinuates at times.
When my son was 6 months old my MIL told my to put him on skim milk because he was slow gaining weight he is also allergic to milk. She says that's what she did with her 2 children to help them gain weight.
I was told to get the baby to sleep through the night, I need to put them in there crib from day one and let them cry a few nights.....after this, they will sleep through the night!
How horrible!!
To let my son CIO so he'd sleep in his crib. I heard this from EVERYONE I know IRL.. It just went against everything my husband %26amp; I felt was right.
Any advice that goes: ';Well, I did (something the doctor says not to) and my son turned out fine.'; Argh.
Put cereal in his bottle
Bite him back
Spank him (at age 2)
i used to put rice cereal in my daughters bottle and she's fine!!!
Put cereal in his milk... he was only a month old, geez.
honestly, putting cereal in their bottle isnt a bad thing. it helps fill their bellies more. and as long as its not like mush it will go down fine and the baby will be happy and full therefore sleep longer. and when your kid is the one biting everyone at school, biting them back will teach them a lesson. my friends mom bit her back when she was young and she swears it was like a wake up call. yeah, it seems mean, but obviously youre an adult, dont break the skin or anything but... it works.
i just wanted to put that out there.
What parenting beliefs did you hold before you were a parent that have changed since you had children?
Eg, before having children, I was extremely against segreagating children even in a time out. I believed it was humiliating to children to be made to sit away from their peers! Silly I know. But since having children I've learnt that time outs (for us) are a very valuable tool for discipline.
What did you find surprising?What parenting beliefs did you hold before you were a parent that have changed since you had children?
Most of my beliefs haven't changed too much actually, but I was always against kids watching a lot of tv. While I don't allow my children to watch any actual tv, I do often allow my son to have his Wiggles dvd's on for background noise, as long as he's playing/dancing at the same time.What parenting beliefs did you hold before you were a parent that have changed since you had children?
I thought the nose on the wall was BRUTAL!!!! Because it killed me when I was a kid!!!!!
But...... it has worked QUITE WELL for all my kids! They are very well mannered and hold a high respect for everyone especially adults.
Well i always thought that the parents who put their kids on leashes where just horrible! Well with my daughter the way she is i can't understand now! She loves running around and exploring every little thing but sometimes i just can't keep up and she can't do this every where!
I was against having my kids eat too much fast %26amp; junk food, especially at a young age. But since my son has (under) weight issues %26amp; refuses to eat, I'm happy if I can get a few french fries into him.
I used to think that I would always stick to all my rules and discipline. Boy, was I wrong! I occassionally give in to a thing or two just to save my sanity!!!
What did you find surprising?What parenting beliefs did you hold before you were a parent that have changed since you had children?
Most of my beliefs haven't changed too much actually, but I was always against kids watching a lot of tv. While I don't allow my children to watch any actual tv, I do often allow my son to have his Wiggles dvd's on for background noise, as long as he's playing/dancing at the same time.What parenting beliefs did you hold before you were a parent that have changed since you had children?
I thought the nose on the wall was BRUTAL!!!! Because it killed me when I was a kid!!!!!
But...... it has worked QUITE WELL for all my kids! They are very well mannered and hold a high respect for everyone especially adults.
Well i always thought that the parents who put their kids on leashes where just horrible! Well with my daughter the way she is i can't understand now! She loves running around and exploring every little thing but sometimes i just can't keep up and she can't do this every where!
I was against having my kids eat too much fast %26amp; junk food, especially at a young age. But since my son has (under) weight issues %26amp; refuses to eat, I'm happy if I can get a few french fries into him.
I used to think that I would always stick to all my rules and discipline. Boy, was I wrong! I occassionally give in to a thing or two just to save my sanity!!!
What flaws have other family members been picking out about your parenting skills?
hi, was just wondering how many others there was in the same situation as me.
i have a daughter, she 15 weeks old.
recently took her round to see my boyfriends mum, but every time i go round there shes always picking out things I'm supposedly not doing properly, such as not holding her properly.
was wondering if anyone else has the same problem
just reply to this to let me know
thanks
Kellie xWhat flaws have other family members been picking out about your parenting skills?
Oh my, I know exactly what you mean! When i first had my son a lot of things were picked out!
My dad - ';Have you got his head properly, Be careful!'; About every 2 minutes!!
My mum - ';Have you tested that bottle, you sure its the right temperature?'; Duh, would i be feeding it to him if it was too hot?!!
MIL - ';He should be eating more then that, i'll cook him some more'; If wanted him to have more i would have cooked it myself!!
FIL - '; You should let him crawl around, he can't break anything'; No but do i look like i want your dogs licking my baby to death!!?
Just some of the things i would do wrong lol and yes it was very frustrating but unfortunately you can't seem to do anything about it!! For example, my son is 13 months old now and the other day we was around the in-laws and i had given my son a little bit of milky bar, wrapped it up and told him he could have some more later. Oh no, my MIL decided to call him and ask him if he would like some more chocolate, i said no but hey did that matter she still takes it from my bag and gives him some more!!
You simply can't win, my advice just let it go over your head and ignore it. unless you do that you will go crazy and no grandparents or anyone else will listen!
Good Luck, Maria xWhat flaws have other family members been picking out about your parenting skills?
I think everyone has relatives that critiscise their parenting. But what you need to look at is if you really are doing it inappropriatly. For example, are you supporting her head correctly? Are you holding her around her belly (think the way you would carry a note book in your arms, holding the baby by the belly) which is proven to cause medical problems?
If it is just a different style and your way is correct as well, then you need to tell them to back off. I get you may not want to be rude, but be rude about it. If you are doing something wrong, then be receptive and change what you are doing. Only you can evaluate whether she is just meaning well or if you are wrong.
My in-law's would never outright say I was doing something wrong - but it'd be hinted at. Maybe your b/fs mum doesn't realise that she comes across as rude and interfering, she may think she is helping?
I'd learn to ignore it, this is a common problem for most people. Personally, i hate that my MIL buys my daughter every thing she might possibly want (probably in several different colours) and gives her sweets when I expressly say not to, but it doesn't make any difference. I've learned to let it go over my head and to donate extra toys to my local hospital!
Best of luck.
I wouldn't ignore it. However since it's your boyfriends mom, I don't think I would say anything either. I would say something to my boyfriend and if he didn't do something to make the situation right, then I wouldn't take your daughter to her house so often and if she asked why, I would tell her why.
One thing I tell my children is....every parent does the best we can. Kids don't come with instruction manuals because every parent have their own idea on how to raise their children and we really don't know how successful were are until our children grow up.
I have a sh*it load of things my parents did that I would never do as a parent and I am sure that my children will have their own load. She had her chance to raise children and now it's your turn.
congradulations on your new baby. when i first had mine, i was sensitive towards others advice. it seems neverending, and it will be never ending. the in-laws especially seem to typically be extra critical.
just don't let it get to you, you are a good mum. it will die down a bit (not go away) in a few months.
just thank them, act as if it's great tips, and keep doing things your own way. it's easy than fights.
i practice attachment parenting/co sleeping/ do not spank, i get a lot of family pickings. now that my son is 3 1/2, i just know it's coming and it doesn't even bother me anymore.
My mother in law is always making rude comments on the fact that I don't want to use the highchair and crib my husband had as a baby. I keep telling her they are not safe and I don't care if he turned out okay, that I'm not willing to risk the chance when it comes to my son. She also keeps coming home from yard sales with really old crap (strollers, car seats, dirty toys) and gets upset when i don't want them. I don't even need them, I got everything brand new at my baby shower. He's 6 1/2 months now and she still won't let it go. She even told me that I believe too much of what I read when it comes to that stuff.
Drives me insane!! She picks on everything I do because it's not the way she did it but that was 30 years ago...lots change in 30 years.
you are not alone
i was 32 when i had my son (first and only) and still everyone and their dog wanted to tell me they knew far better than me how to bring my son up so it has little to do with you being young
amid the conflicting advice (and very little actual HELP) i decided to ignore the lot of them and follow my best instincts
result? one well balanced child who has stable friendships with the nicer children (usually) who is doing well at school
i would advise you the same - follow your instincts regarding your own child and ignore all the do gooders who tell you different (other than professionals that is)
and as to your mother in law - is her name joan by any chance?
When you get pregnant and have a baby, the one thing you will get in abundance, that you don't need, is unwanted criticism and advice. Remember that some people think that whatever they have done in their lives has worked great for them so that gives them a reason to tell someone else how to do things. It's like cutting a sandwich in half vertically or diagonally... people who do it one way will always thing their way is better.
Don't worry about the boyfriend's mom and just let her unsolicited advice go in one ear and straight out the other.
Kellie, try not to let her get to you. I think it's pretty common for mothers/mothers-in-law to nitpick about things like that. I know it's irritating.
My son is a bit older, he's 17 and my mother just told me recently that she thinks he's too ';clingy'; toward me. I'm a single parent and have been through my share of heartaches, and the truth is my son is very protective of me, I think that's why he might be a little clingy.
Good luck!!
i had many people try to tell what to do with my kids. i stopped breastfeeding early with my daughter and my mother in law would not leave me along about it every time we visited she would ask me to try breastfeeding my daughter again and ask if she could just show me the proper way to do it.
Joan R's DIL has the same problem.
It's jealousy, her precious boy has found someone to spend their life with and they are no longer centre of attention, the old bags.
Rise above it, and thank her for the advice but you actually want to figure this out on your own.
Congratulations on the baby!
my family never picked out flaws. They never said anything bad even tho I breastfed them till 2.5 which they didn't agree with they kept it to themselves. Admitingly I didn't have to deal with inlaws as my kids have no Dad but my family supported me and thought I did a great job. Very lucky I guess
i was told by my mother that i was ';starving'; my daughter by breast feeding her instead of feeding her formula. I wasn't and the doctor told me she was growing just fine. It was hard to ignore her comments, but I did what I felt was right and continued to breastfeed her.
Mother in Law.....
When my oldest son was a baby, he had colic + acid reflux. One of the things that calmed him was waling with him and gently bouncing. I did this in front of her......and she informed me that I was going to give him brain damage, he was going to turn out retarded.
Just practice the 'smile and nod', a practice us mommies get very good at with age.
No you are not alone at all. I had the mother-in-law from h*ll! It didn't matter what I did for my daughter it was always wrong from burping her to changing her diaper. If it bothers you just nicely tell her if you need advise you will ask for it.
This has never happened to me, considering I'm a bit young, but ignore your boyfriend's mother. She shouldn't be criticizing you. No one knows their own child like their own mother. You'll know if you've been doing something wrong.
Ignor her.
She is trying to parent your baby. Have a word with your boyfriend if it gets really annoying but for now, try to cope with it, however much it annoys you.
everyone likes to give advice that's why Yahoo answers is so popular, just thank her and do what suits you best.new lipstick
i have a daughter, she 15 weeks old.
recently took her round to see my boyfriends mum, but every time i go round there shes always picking out things I'm supposedly not doing properly, such as not holding her properly.
was wondering if anyone else has the same problem
just reply to this to let me know
thanks
Kellie xWhat flaws have other family members been picking out about your parenting skills?
Oh my, I know exactly what you mean! When i first had my son a lot of things were picked out!
My dad - ';Have you got his head properly, Be careful!'; About every 2 minutes!!
My mum - ';Have you tested that bottle, you sure its the right temperature?'; Duh, would i be feeding it to him if it was too hot?!!
MIL - ';He should be eating more then that, i'll cook him some more'; If wanted him to have more i would have cooked it myself!!
FIL - '; You should let him crawl around, he can't break anything'; No but do i look like i want your dogs licking my baby to death!!?
Just some of the things i would do wrong lol and yes it was very frustrating but unfortunately you can't seem to do anything about it!! For example, my son is 13 months old now and the other day we was around the in-laws and i had given my son a little bit of milky bar, wrapped it up and told him he could have some more later. Oh no, my MIL decided to call him and ask him if he would like some more chocolate, i said no but hey did that matter she still takes it from my bag and gives him some more!!
You simply can't win, my advice just let it go over your head and ignore it. unless you do that you will go crazy and no grandparents or anyone else will listen!
Good Luck, Maria xWhat flaws have other family members been picking out about your parenting skills?
I think everyone has relatives that critiscise their parenting. But what you need to look at is if you really are doing it inappropriatly. For example, are you supporting her head correctly? Are you holding her around her belly (think the way you would carry a note book in your arms, holding the baby by the belly) which is proven to cause medical problems?
If it is just a different style and your way is correct as well, then you need to tell them to back off. I get you may not want to be rude, but be rude about it. If you are doing something wrong, then be receptive and change what you are doing. Only you can evaluate whether she is just meaning well or if you are wrong.
My in-law's would never outright say I was doing something wrong - but it'd be hinted at. Maybe your b/fs mum doesn't realise that she comes across as rude and interfering, she may think she is helping?
I'd learn to ignore it, this is a common problem for most people. Personally, i hate that my MIL buys my daughter every thing she might possibly want (probably in several different colours) and gives her sweets when I expressly say not to, but it doesn't make any difference. I've learned to let it go over my head and to donate extra toys to my local hospital!
Best of luck.
I wouldn't ignore it. However since it's your boyfriends mom, I don't think I would say anything either. I would say something to my boyfriend and if he didn't do something to make the situation right, then I wouldn't take your daughter to her house so often and if she asked why, I would tell her why.
One thing I tell my children is....every parent does the best we can. Kids don't come with instruction manuals because every parent have their own idea on how to raise their children and we really don't know how successful were are until our children grow up.
I have a sh*it load of things my parents did that I would never do as a parent and I am sure that my children will have their own load. She had her chance to raise children and now it's your turn.
congradulations on your new baby. when i first had mine, i was sensitive towards others advice. it seems neverending, and it will be never ending. the in-laws especially seem to typically be extra critical.
just don't let it get to you, you are a good mum. it will die down a bit (not go away) in a few months.
just thank them, act as if it's great tips, and keep doing things your own way. it's easy than fights.
i practice attachment parenting/co sleeping/ do not spank, i get a lot of family pickings. now that my son is 3 1/2, i just know it's coming and it doesn't even bother me anymore.
My mother in law is always making rude comments on the fact that I don't want to use the highchair and crib my husband had as a baby. I keep telling her they are not safe and I don't care if he turned out okay, that I'm not willing to risk the chance when it comes to my son. She also keeps coming home from yard sales with really old crap (strollers, car seats, dirty toys) and gets upset when i don't want them. I don't even need them, I got everything brand new at my baby shower. He's 6 1/2 months now and she still won't let it go. She even told me that I believe too much of what I read when it comes to that stuff.
Drives me insane!! She picks on everything I do because it's not the way she did it but that was 30 years ago...lots change in 30 years.
you are not alone
i was 32 when i had my son (first and only) and still everyone and their dog wanted to tell me they knew far better than me how to bring my son up so it has little to do with you being young
amid the conflicting advice (and very little actual HELP) i decided to ignore the lot of them and follow my best instincts
result? one well balanced child who has stable friendships with the nicer children (usually) who is doing well at school
i would advise you the same - follow your instincts regarding your own child and ignore all the do gooders who tell you different (other than professionals that is)
and as to your mother in law - is her name joan by any chance?
When you get pregnant and have a baby, the one thing you will get in abundance, that you don't need, is unwanted criticism and advice. Remember that some people think that whatever they have done in their lives has worked great for them so that gives them a reason to tell someone else how to do things. It's like cutting a sandwich in half vertically or diagonally... people who do it one way will always thing their way is better.
Don't worry about the boyfriend's mom and just let her unsolicited advice go in one ear and straight out the other.
Kellie, try not to let her get to you. I think it's pretty common for mothers/mothers-in-law to nitpick about things like that. I know it's irritating.
My son is a bit older, he's 17 and my mother just told me recently that she thinks he's too ';clingy'; toward me. I'm a single parent and have been through my share of heartaches, and the truth is my son is very protective of me, I think that's why he might be a little clingy.
Good luck!!
i had many people try to tell what to do with my kids. i stopped breastfeeding early with my daughter and my mother in law would not leave me along about it every time we visited she would ask me to try breastfeeding my daughter again and ask if she could just show me the proper way to do it.
Joan R's DIL has the same problem.
It's jealousy, her precious boy has found someone to spend their life with and they are no longer centre of attention, the old bags.
Rise above it, and thank her for the advice but you actually want to figure this out on your own.
Congratulations on the baby!
my family never picked out flaws. They never said anything bad even tho I breastfed them till 2.5 which they didn't agree with they kept it to themselves. Admitingly I didn't have to deal with inlaws as my kids have no Dad but my family supported me and thought I did a great job. Very lucky I guess
i was told by my mother that i was ';starving'; my daughter by breast feeding her instead of feeding her formula. I wasn't and the doctor told me she was growing just fine. It was hard to ignore her comments, but I did what I felt was right and continued to breastfeed her.
Mother in Law.....
When my oldest son was a baby, he had colic + acid reflux. One of the things that calmed him was waling with him and gently bouncing. I did this in front of her......and she informed me that I was going to give him brain damage, he was going to turn out retarded.
Just practice the 'smile and nod', a practice us mommies get very good at with age.
No you are not alone at all. I had the mother-in-law from h*ll! It didn't matter what I did for my daughter it was always wrong from burping her to changing her diaper. If it bothers you just nicely tell her if you need advise you will ask for it.
This has never happened to me, considering I'm a bit young, but ignore your boyfriend's mother. She shouldn't be criticizing you. No one knows their own child like their own mother. You'll know if you've been doing something wrong.
Ignor her.
She is trying to parent your baby. Have a word with your boyfriend if it gets really annoying but for now, try to cope with it, however much it annoys you.
everyone likes to give advice that's why Yahoo answers is so popular, just thank her and do what suits you best.
How does the parenting class work in a divorce?
Ok so my husband and i are divorcing. We are supposed to be taking this parenting class afterwards i guess. But i live in Ky and im moving back home to Ok. Is there a way i can have it scheduled for back home incase im not here in Ky to do it??How does the parenting class work in a divorce?
I have a feeling this will be a lot more complicated then you think...I'm in sort of the same boat as you. Only I didn't get a divorce, I'm just having a custody battle with an ex boyfriend of mine. I have to get his permission to take our son to CT. Which I have his permission to go (Its only 2 hours away) The only problem we're having is visitation. He wants it split half and half. I get my son for two weeks and he gets him for two weeks. Well my lawyer is telling me the whole two week thing isn't a great idea. So now I said we should just let the court decide. Anyways...if your husband wants to be an active dad (which by the way, as long as hes not a bad guy meaning abusive that sort of thing, I would go along with it) your in for a lot more then just worrying about parenting classes.How does the parenting class work in a divorce?
Well, you can't get the divorce until you take the class. I'm assuming you wouldn't move until you are divorced.
Its possible but you must obtain the Judges permission first before moving
Everything needs to be settle in court before a judge
I have a feeling this will be a lot more complicated then you think...I'm in sort of the same boat as you. Only I didn't get a divorce, I'm just having a custody battle with an ex boyfriend of mine. I have to get his permission to take our son to CT. Which I have his permission to go (Its only 2 hours away) The only problem we're having is visitation. He wants it split half and half. I get my son for two weeks and he gets him for two weeks. Well my lawyer is telling me the whole two week thing isn't a great idea. So now I said we should just let the court decide. Anyways...if your husband wants to be an active dad (which by the way, as long as hes not a bad guy meaning abusive that sort of thing, I would go along with it) your in for a lot more then just worrying about parenting classes.How does the parenting class work in a divorce?
Well, you can't get the divorce until you take the class. I'm assuming you wouldn't move until you are divorced.
Its possible but you must obtain the Judges permission first before moving
Everything needs to be settle in court before a judge
What does the ';PM'; after user's names on the parenting board mean?
Sorry if it's a dumb question I just get really curious about strange stuff like this and I wander over to parenting from time to time when trying to conceive is slow!
Thanks if you can fill me in :)What does the ';PM'; after user's names on the parenting board mean?
pre menstrual
pre meditated
post medicated
pretty moodyWhat does the ';PM'; after user's names on the parenting board mean?
I think it's Parenting Mafia
oh oh I like
Promiscuous Mama
Pissed %26amp; Mean
or
Promiscuous Mama
Either suits me perfectly :)
Pregnant Mother
pretty monsterous
heck! and here i thought PM meant Pleasure Machine!
i would've signed in. lol!
Tweedle, you stoolie !
Thanks if you can fill me in :)What does the ';PM'; after user's names on the parenting board mean?
pre menstrual
pre meditated
post medicated
pretty moodyWhat does the ';PM'; after user's names on the parenting board mean?
I think it's Parenting Mafia
oh oh I like
Promiscuous Mama
Pissed %26amp; Mean
or
Promiscuous Mama
Either suits me perfectly :)
Pregnant Mother
pretty monsterous
heck! and here i thought PM meant Pleasure Machine!
i would've signed in. lol!
Tweedle, you stoolie !
What aspects of parenting do you find most challenging?
For me it is having to find the reserves of energy to go that extra mile when you are exhausted and have not had a day off for over 2 years..What aspects of parenting do you find most challenging?
been on my own it hard when your ill! i have a stomach bug last week and felt dreadful and was sick for 2 days! i found this very hard as i had noboby to help me out and stil had to run around after a two year oldWhat aspects of parenting do you find most challenging?
trying to dicipline. it breaks my heart.
Reacting in the right way to naughty behaviour. When you're tired, it's so easy to blow your top - which always makes things a lot worse. That's the bit I find hardest.
And I agree with you, motherhood can be exhausting - esp. when they're only 2. Once they go to school, you can at least have a little bit of time to yourself.
Dealing with all the emotions. i have 2 girls and a boy. the girls are so whiny.an with 3 females in the house its enough to drive an empath out screaming.
Keeping my patience.
my daughter is almost a teen here by April she is gonna be a teen in the house and the attitude I tell you, as they get older find themselves there attitude is the most challenging I think, and my boys are the same way as they grow there attitude is changing and is getting harder to live with as days go by and yrs as well.
because of the dynamics involved,tell me how many children you have and are they boys or girls
I think for me it is seeing that my daughter is nothing like a baby any more...I stopped breatsfeeding her two and a half weeks ago, which sent me to a moment of depression about my 'baby' no longer being a baby. She is growing up and starting to talk, which is great for her, but a little sad for me.
Another thing that I find a bit stressful is that I have a family who have their own ideas about how I should treat my daughter, they don't get that this is mine and my partners baby, not theirs...it is challenging because I suddenly have to worry about how to ignore their suggestions tactfully.
I agree with the exhaustion bit too!
toilet training! I'm still recovering several years later
Not getting any sleep.
The actual reponsibility of raising kids that are moral, have good sense and hope that they turn out to be someone great.
trying not to choke the living crap out of them when they are really bad LOL no seriously the birds and the bees would be my biggest thing right now and the pressures set forth by their friends
I found the teenage years were a night mere, there is a saying '; when their little they step on your toes and when their big they step on your heart. its worse now then before, its not only hard to be a teen, its grueling to be a parent of a teen. I'm assuming you have a two year old, hang in there you only have at the very least 16 more years with no days off. Parenting is a tough job, 24/7 the pay is lousy, the job exhausting, but you can't beat the benefits!
I think that trying to uphold moral and ethical values when their 'friends' try to promote underage sex,drugs and alcohol. My four girls are all grown up now, but during teenage years the pressures from others to indulge lost them a lot of friends and earnt them ridicule and bullying. This was very hard on them and me.
i live at home during the wk so i find its other ppls opinion on the way u want ur child rared!every one has their own way and it gets hard!
for me it is letting my daughter grow up. I dont want her to!!! Of all the pride I have in her for the independance she has, its still hard to send her on her merry way out into that big world of ours.
All of it!!
Each day brings a different challenge i find being a father bringing his children up.
It's all good though and very rewarding :)
First, patience, I think anyone who has tried to reason with a toddler can say that.
Then, it's letting go. I'm a bit of a control freak and have a hard time letting my husband step in, he's in the military so he's not used to my son and doesn't know what every babble or signal means.
Most challenging for me would be dealing with the woes and problems of teenagers and the challenges of terrible twos at the same time.
been on my own it hard when your ill! i have a stomach bug last week and felt dreadful and was sick for 2 days! i found this very hard as i had noboby to help me out and stil had to run around after a two year oldWhat aspects of parenting do you find most challenging?
trying to dicipline. it breaks my heart.
Reacting in the right way to naughty behaviour. When you're tired, it's so easy to blow your top - which always makes things a lot worse. That's the bit I find hardest.
And I agree with you, motherhood can be exhausting - esp. when they're only 2. Once they go to school, you can at least have a little bit of time to yourself.
Dealing with all the emotions. i have 2 girls and a boy. the girls are so whiny.an with 3 females in the house its enough to drive an empath out screaming.
Keeping my patience.
my daughter is almost a teen here by April she is gonna be a teen in the house and the attitude I tell you, as they get older find themselves there attitude is the most challenging I think, and my boys are the same way as they grow there attitude is changing and is getting harder to live with as days go by and yrs as well.
because of the dynamics involved,tell me how many children you have and are they boys or girls
I think for me it is seeing that my daughter is nothing like a baby any more...I stopped breatsfeeding her two and a half weeks ago, which sent me to a moment of depression about my 'baby' no longer being a baby. She is growing up and starting to talk, which is great for her, but a little sad for me.
Another thing that I find a bit stressful is that I have a family who have their own ideas about how I should treat my daughter, they don't get that this is mine and my partners baby, not theirs...it is challenging because I suddenly have to worry about how to ignore their suggestions tactfully.
I agree with the exhaustion bit too!
toilet training! I'm still recovering several years later
Not getting any sleep.
The actual reponsibility of raising kids that are moral, have good sense and hope that they turn out to be someone great.
trying not to choke the living crap out of them when they are really bad LOL no seriously the birds and the bees would be my biggest thing right now and the pressures set forth by their friends
I found the teenage years were a night mere, there is a saying '; when their little they step on your toes and when their big they step on your heart. its worse now then before, its not only hard to be a teen, its grueling to be a parent of a teen. I'm assuming you have a two year old, hang in there you only have at the very least 16 more years with no days off. Parenting is a tough job, 24/7 the pay is lousy, the job exhausting, but you can't beat the benefits!
I think that trying to uphold moral and ethical values when their 'friends' try to promote underage sex,drugs and alcohol. My four girls are all grown up now, but during teenage years the pressures from others to indulge lost them a lot of friends and earnt them ridicule and bullying. This was very hard on them and me.
i live at home during the wk so i find its other ppls opinion on the way u want ur child rared!every one has their own way and it gets hard!
for me it is letting my daughter grow up. I dont want her to!!! Of all the pride I have in her for the independance she has, its still hard to send her on her merry way out into that big world of ours.
All of it!!
Each day brings a different challenge i find being a father bringing his children up.
It's all good though and very rewarding :)
First, patience, I think anyone who has tried to reason with a toddler can say that.
Then, it's letting go. I'm a bit of a control freak and have a hard time letting my husband step in, he's in the military so he's not used to my son and doesn't know what every babble or signal means.
Most challenging for me would be dealing with the woes and problems of teenagers and the challenges of terrible twos at the same time.
What would you like to see less of on the Parenting Section?
the obvious answer would be trolls, i gather. but is there anything else in this section that makes you sick already?
ok, i said, 'what', not 'who' --so no bashing of other users or we'll get in trouble from the YA gods. lol!What would you like to see less of on the Parenting Section?
Judgement.What would you like to see less of on the Parenting Section?
People who view advice from children as being invalid -- yes, sometimes it is ridiculous but I've seen a lot of really good advice from young girls and I don't think people should be so quick to dismiss it because it's coming from a teenage girl (even pre-teen).
People who believe that spanking a child on the bum is abuse, it's not. Some parents tend to overuse spanking and it then becomes abuse - otherwise, no.
';Am I preggers/prego/pregnant'; questions, if you suspect pregnancy get a blood test
Less trolls would be nice around the entire Y! answer forums period
People asking for baby name advice. . . I seriously hope that you're not going to decide on your child's name based on the opinions of people who you will never know
The ';am I pregnant?'; questions get old after a while. I begin to wonder why people just don't look up previous questions. But I think the ones that bother me the most are the abortion questions. I think that if a girl is considering the procedure, but is still trying to make up her mind, then this is a good place to come. But when they are regarding how the actual procedure is done, I think it's best posted in women's health. And for those that ask ';what is your opinion on abortion?'; - they should post in politics and government.
Ok, my rant is over. For the most part, we just have to ignore these questions. :)
People saying that teens are uneducated on certain advices. I have been through Nine years of education and i know more than some of those stupid people who are always asking things like ';am i pregnant?'; like if your so smart why do you think other people re going to know if you are pregnant, like how about you try a pregnancy test like duh. what about those people who ask about stupid things about their vagina or something. Have you not heard of public inappropriateness.??? Or a DOCTOr? And those people who ask questions to make fun of other people with insecurities? like seriously. I don't think you are any better than the rest of us...?
Parents putting down names of children!! How would they feel if someone put their child's name down? We name our children special for our families. Yes my daughters name is Jadyn but it is because we named her for the meaning of the name. It was not that popular when she was born but I am tired of seeing people call it stupid.
Creative rumors being spread about others and harassment. Oh and I'll add that I'm beyond sick of seeing trolls drag people's families and children into the war. Leave families out of it!
This: ';Why does everyone look down on teen moms?';
Or dumb@ss report-happy old maids looking down on us from their ivory towers.
Men thinking it's funny to post questions on what they think will be the most insensitive topics and saying they are worried about being pregnant. Lol.
I would like to see people stop criticising other peoples parenting choices.
Other than trolls? People asking questions only to justify their beliefs, whether those beliefs are wrong or right.
kids coming in here giving ';advice'; on childbirth and parenting when they know nothing about either.
People who ask if spanking is abuse. Yes! Hitting your child is abusive! Get over it!
Abortion and spanking questions, and what Kati said.
Judgment and close mindedness
I'd like to see less shirts.
Oh and bras.
Little Francis haters!
ok, i said, 'what', not 'who' --so no bashing of other users or we'll get in trouble from the YA gods. lol!What would you like to see less of on the Parenting Section?
Judgement.What would you like to see less of on the Parenting Section?
People who view advice from children as being invalid -- yes, sometimes it is ridiculous but I've seen a lot of really good advice from young girls and I don't think people should be so quick to dismiss it because it's coming from a teenage girl (even pre-teen).
People who believe that spanking a child on the bum is abuse, it's not. Some parents tend to overuse spanking and it then becomes abuse - otherwise, no.
';Am I preggers/prego/pregnant'; questions, if you suspect pregnancy get a blood test
Less trolls would be nice around the entire Y! answer forums period
People asking for baby name advice. . . I seriously hope that you're not going to decide on your child's name based on the opinions of people who you will never know
The ';am I pregnant?'; questions get old after a while. I begin to wonder why people just don't look up previous questions. But I think the ones that bother me the most are the abortion questions. I think that if a girl is considering the procedure, but is still trying to make up her mind, then this is a good place to come. But when they are regarding how the actual procedure is done, I think it's best posted in women's health. And for those that ask ';what is your opinion on abortion?'; - they should post in politics and government.
Ok, my rant is over. For the most part, we just have to ignore these questions. :)
People saying that teens are uneducated on certain advices. I have been through Nine years of education and i know more than some of those stupid people who are always asking things like ';am i pregnant?'; like if your so smart why do you think other people re going to know if you are pregnant, like how about you try a pregnancy test like duh. what about those people who ask about stupid things about their vagina or something. Have you not heard of public inappropriateness.??? Or a DOCTOr? And those people who ask questions to make fun of other people with insecurities? like seriously. I don't think you are any better than the rest of us...?
Parents putting down names of children!! How would they feel if someone put their child's name down? We name our children special for our families. Yes my daughters name is Jadyn but it is because we named her for the meaning of the name. It was not that popular when she was born but I am tired of seeing people call it stupid.
Creative rumors being spread about others and harassment. Oh and I'll add that I'm beyond sick of seeing trolls drag people's families and children into the war. Leave families out of it!
This: ';Why does everyone look down on teen moms?';
Or dumb@ss report-happy old maids looking down on us from their ivory towers.
Men thinking it's funny to post questions on what they think will be the most insensitive topics and saying they are worried about being pregnant. Lol.
I would like to see people stop criticising other peoples parenting choices.
Other than trolls? People asking questions only to justify their beliefs, whether those beliefs are wrong or right.
kids coming in here giving ';advice'; on childbirth and parenting when they know nothing about either.
People who ask if spanking is abuse. Yes! Hitting your child is abusive! Get over it!
Abortion and spanking questions, and what Kati said.
Judgment and close mindedness
I'd like to see less shirts.
Oh and bras.
Little Francis haters!
Crazy kitten but parenting at the same time?
I have a kitten and she is 2. She is very crazy and enjoys attention. At the same time she is a parent of a stuffed animal tiger. For example :
She puts her tiger in her water dish , near the food dish , litter box ( we washed it after that ) and she carries it around in her mouth ? Is that weird ?Crazy kitten but parenting at the same time?
Oh my goodness, that is adorable! My friend has a cat that if she gives it a stuffed kitten, he will start licking it and carry it around, but he never carries it that long.
That is just so cute! Aww! What a good mama! Wow, Ok, you have the cutest little cat! Awwwww!Crazy kitten but parenting at the same time?
no, maternal instinct.
if mom wants a kitten to follow her, and it wont, she carries it.
she is teaching it to eat, drink and use the litter box.
No, this is her ';baby';. A lot of female cats act this way.
Has she been spayed? Just wondering........
Enjoy your ';baby'; .........they grow up waaaaaaay too fast ! :-(
She puts her tiger in her water dish , near the food dish , litter box ( we washed it after that ) and she carries it around in her mouth ? Is that weird ?Crazy kitten but parenting at the same time?
Oh my goodness, that is adorable! My friend has a cat that if she gives it a stuffed kitten, he will start licking it and carry it around, but he never carries it that long.
That is just so cute! Aww! What a good mama! Wow, Ok, you have the cutest little cat! Awwwww!Crazy kitten but parenting at the same time?
no, maternal instinct.
if mom wants a kitten to follow her, and it wont, she carries it.
she is teaching it to eat, drink and use the litter box.
No, this is her ';baby';. A lot of female cats act this way.
Has she been spayed? Just wondering........
Enjoy your ';baby'; .........they grow up waaaaaaay too fast ! :-(
How important is it that your kids approve of your parenting style? Do you think being friends with your?
teens is better, easier than being strict and having standards.How important is it that your kids approve of your parenting style? Do you think being friends with your?
my kids have no say about my parenting style, they are children, they havent been around long enough to know how to parent, and i dont need their approval on howi raise them,
being ';friends'; with our teenagers is half of whats wrong with kids today, they need discipline, they have plenty of friends. you can get along with them and not be ';friends'; or hanging out buddies or whatnot. i have a 15 year old neighbor, i found out the other day her mother smokes weed with her, yeah...way to be a parent mom. im glad my mom was a parent and not my friend. now that im an adult though my mom is my best friend. but it has no place while youre growing up and developing and still need that guidanceHow important is it that your kids approve of your parenting style? Do you think being friends with your?
I don't think it is important that kids agree with the parenting style. I do think it makes life a whole lot easier if you can agree to disagree and that the child recognizes your authority.
You can be friends with your teen and still be strict and have standards. Over the years I've been friends with most all my bosses/supervisors but I still recognize that they have the final say in maters of disagreement. Being friends with your teen doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want. As the ad says ';friends don't let friends drive drunk.';
I don't think you should be a friend and not a parent, but I don't see any reason a parent cannot also be a friend. I get on famously with my children, we have a lot of fun. It's easier to connect to them and know what's going on in their lives and to have a close, trusting relationship with them when I don't act like a removed, egocentric tyrant.
My children's approval of my style matters to me because their happiness matters to me. If I'm doing something that is making them unhappy, and it is something I can reasonably change, I do my best to. There's no reason just to make a child unhappy when they needn't be simply for the sake of being absolute in your parenting and presenting the image to your children that you're always, uncompromisingly right. Even adults need to change how they think sometimes, and often our children are the ones to make us see sense enough for that change. It takes a big person to stand by their ideals, and a bigger one to admit fault with their ideals and change.
Who says you can't be friends with your teen and still have standards? My mom is one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean it would ever be okay for me to break the rules.
Of course, the main rule in our house was always kindness and respect. That pretty much covers everything though, so other rules weren't necessary.
Incidentally, I've always got excellent grades, I've never had so much as a detention, and I'm completely honest with my parents.
What kind of friend would let their friend grow up to be any less than the best person they could be?
i honestly do not care what my children think of my parenting style. in fact, i hope they severely dislike it.
i think it's way easier to be your teen's friend, but is it right, or better? i don't think so. i intend to be VERY strict. and they will just have to deal with it until they're 18, even if that means they hate my guts until the day i die. at least i will die knowing my kids turned out to be decent, respectful human beings.
my mother was extremely strict when we were growing up. and i truly believe that i'm a better person because of it.
im 17 and although me and my mum dont hang out together shopping and stuff, i still respect her and how she raised me and my brother alone as a single mother. she likes to pull that ';i raised u all by myself, u dont know how hard it was'; on us a lot to stress how much she wants us to succeed in the future to make her proud. she isnt so strict with me anymore, especially with going out. she said she thinks shes raised me to the point where i can make decisions for myself now but she does need to know where i am going etc. and kids approving of parenting style is very important otherwise the child will lose respect for their parents in the future
It's good to have a close relationship with your kids. It helps them feel comfortable telling you what's on their minds and what they're going through. However, a parent's role is to love, correct, discipline, and provide moral, emotional, and spiritual direction. :o)
Not important at all if they approve of our parenting style. They don't really have a say in it - otherwise it wouldn't work!
I don't think being friends with teens is a good idea - teens have plenty of friends. They need guidance and boundaries.
As the parents, my wife and I do need any approval from our children on how we choose to run the home. They will accept our rules and standards, like it or not.new lipstick
my kids have no say about my parenting style, they are children, they havent been around long enough to know how to parent, and i dont need their approval on howi raise them,
being ';friends'; with our teenagers is half of whats wrong with kids today, they need discipline, they have plenty of friends. you can get along with them and not be ';friends'; or hanging out buddies or whatnot. i have a 15 year old neighbor, i found out the other day her mother smokes weed with her, yeah...way to be a parent mom. im glad my mom was a parent and not my friend. now that im an adult though my mom is my best friend. but it has no place while youre growing up and developing and still need that guidanceHow important is it that your kids approve of your parenting style? Do you think being friends with your?
I don't think it is important that kids agree with the parenting style. I do think it makes life a whole lot easier if you can agree to disagree and that the child recognizes your authority.
You can be friends with your teen and still be strict and have standards. Over the years I've been friends with most all my bosses/supervisors but I still recognize that they have the final say in maters of disagreement. Being friends with your teen doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want. As the ad says ';friends don't let friends drive drunk.';
I don't think you should be a friend and not a parent, but I don't see any reason a parent cannot also be a friend. I get on famously with my children, we have a lot of fun. It's easier to connect to them and know what's going on in their lives and to have a close, trusting relationship with them when I don't act like a removed, egocentric tyrant.
My children's approval of my style matters to me because their happiness matters to me. If I'm doing something that is making them unhappy, and it is something I can reasonably change, I do my best to. There's no reason just to make a child unhappy when they needn't be simply for the sake of being absolute in your parenting and presenting the image to your children that you're always, uncompromisingly right. Even adults need to change how they think sometimes, and often our children are the ones to make us see sense enough for that change. It takes a big person to stand by their ideals, and a bigger one to admit fault with their ideals and change.
Who says you can't be friends with your teen and still have standards? My mom is one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean it would ever be okay for me to break the rules.
Of course, the main rule in our house was always kindness and respect. That pretty much covers everything though, so other rules weren't necessary.
Incidentally, I've always got excellent grades, I've never had so much as a detention, and I'm completely honest with my parents.
What kind of friend would let their friend grow up to be any less than the best person they could be?
i honestly do not care what my children think of my parenting style. in fact, i hope they severely dislike it.
i think it's way easier to be your teen's friend, but is it right, or better? i don't think so. i intend to be VERY strict. and they will just have to deal with it until they're 18, even if that means they hate my guts until the day i die. at least i will die knowing my kids turned out to be decent, respectful human beings.
my mother was extremely strict when we were growing up. and i truly believe that i'm a better person because of it.
im 17 and although me and my mum dont hang out together shopping and stuff, i still respect her and how she raised me and my brother alone as a single mother. she likes to pull that ';i raised u all by myself, u dont know how hard it was'; on us a lot to stress how much she wants us to succeed in the future to make her proud. she isnt so strict with me anymore, especially with going out. she said she thinks shes raised me to the point where i can make decisions for myself now but she does need to know where i am going etc. and kids approving of parenting style is very important otherwise the child will lose respect for their parents in the future
It's good to have a close relationship with your kids. It helps them feel comfortable telling you what's on their minds and what they're going through. However, a parent's role is to love, correct, discipline, and provide moral, emotional, and spiritual direction. :o)
Not important at all if they approve of our parenting style. They don't really have a say in it - otherwise it wouldn't work!
I don't think being friends with teens is a good idea - teens have plenty of friends. They need guidance and boundaries.
As the parents, my wife and I do need any approval from our children on how we choose to run the home. They will accept our rules and standards, like it or not.
Describe stategies you have used in helping parents overcome parenting difficulties?
be very specific and detailed ok. I am writing an essay.Describe stategies you have used in helping parents overcome parenting difficulties?
Well, I can tell you about what I do to overcome my own parenting difficulty.
If my spouse and I are fighting, I have realized that I have no patience for my kids. I am not the fun, out going, playful teaching mom that I normally am. Instead, I am short-tempered and don't feel like playing or teaching.
However, there are 2 things that get me out of my funk.
-Scheduling. We have a daily schedule. Even if I don't feel like it. i am committed to my kids and their schedule.
-music. I find that if I put on some happy music and force myself to sing and dance with my kids that I am quickly cured of my husbands negativity.Describe stategies you have used in helping parents overcome parenting difficulties?
Well, by experience, the strategy that works best for our family when we have a difficult parenting moment is spousal support. We support each other and try to come up with ways to overcome certain problems -together. It's pretty effective for us.
Well, I can tell you about what I do to overcome my own parenting difficulty.
If my spouse and I are fighting, I have realized that I have no patience for my kids. I am not the fun, out going, playful teaching mom that I normally am. Instead, I am short-tempered and don't feel like playing or teaching.
However, there are 2 things that get me out of my funk.
-Scheduling. We have a daily schedule. Even if I don't feel like it. i am committed to my kids and their schedule.
-music. I find that if I put on some happy music and force myself to sing and dance with my kids that I am quickly cured of my husbands negativity.Describe stategies you have used in helping parents overcome parenting difficulties?
Well, by experience, the strategy that works best for our family when we have a difficult parenting moment is spousal support. We support each other and try to come up with ways to overcome certain problems -together. It's pretty effective for us.
Would American women be more likely to make a parenting plan with out going to court with this man?
Would American women be more likely to make a parenting plan with out going to court, if the person will leave the country on a passport of another country just to void paying child support? The only thing you can charge him with is not paying child support. 50/50 custody with no child support is fair, and the men would be willing to take that deal. Would you make this man leave the country just to avoid paying child support.Would American women be more likely to make a parenting plan with out going to court with this man?
Why don't you just stop sleeping with this succession of losers? Here's a great idea - have a kid with someone who you love and actually want to live with, and raise the child together!Would American women be more likely to make a parenting plan with out going to court with this man?
Why would someone who wants 50/50 custody leave the country (and his child) to avoid paying child support? I wouldn't want someone who would do that involved in my child's life, sorry.
I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain
Why don't you just stop sleeping with this succession of losers? Here's a great idea - have a kid with someone who you love and actually want to live with, and raise the child together!Would American women be more likely to make a parenting plan with out going to court with this man?
Why would someone who wants 50/50 custody leave the country (and his child) to avoid paying child support? I wouldn't want someone who would do that involved in my child's life, sorry.
I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain
What is parenting like in other countries?
For my parenting class, I need to know what parenting roles are like in other countries as compared with the U.S. I just need 1 other country as an example. Thanks :)What is parenting like in other countries?
Very lacking in Australia
Kids are reared by childcare workersWhat is parenting like in other countries?
In the Philippines, parents are like gods. their rules are authoritative and irrevocable. no talking back, no whining, no, no, no. Education/higher education is a must and the is the goal for most families. Although this maybe harsh for Americans, most of the parents suffer for the sake of their children. They will do anything and everything in order for their children to have a better life.
for the most part, many of the Filipinos learn to respect their elders, which includes older siblings, parents, and grandparents.
In Trinidad, where I was born, kids are subjected to corporal punishment by teachers and parents for educational purposes like if they do bad in an exam and what not. However, while this may seem harsh, the literacy rate is 99.7% and students usually top the world in Math and Science. However, things have changed and interestingly, things are beginning to go bad since corporal punishment is beginning to become abandoned. Parents are heavily involved in children's lives for the most part.
I heard in other countries parents r a lot more involved in there kids education. Like they help umm with there homework. Other than that I really dont know whats different
uhh
in korea
if you even tought about being a rebel and disrespecting your parents
then you get the boot up your ***
in korea
its all about respect towards your elders
well you can't beat your kids here...since it's abuse...but in other countries you can
im USA there is one parent.
in other countries most time there 2 parents.
';Papa, I want more goat meat.';
Kids starve in China.
u really dont want to know!
Very lacking in Australia
Kids are reared by childcare workersWhat is parenting like in other countries?
In the Philippines, parents are like gods. their rules are authoritative and irrevocable. no talking back, no whining, no, no, no. Education/higher education is a must and the is the goal for most families. Although this maybe harsh for Americans, most of the parents suffer for the sake of their children. They will do anything and everything in order for their children to have a better life.
for the most part, many of the Filipinos learn to respect their elders, which includes older siblings, parents, and grandparents.
In Trinidad, where I was born, kids are subjected to corporal punishment by teachers and parents for educational purposes like if they do bad in an exam and what not. However, while this may seem harsh, the literacy rate is 99.7% and students usually top the world in Math and Science. However, things have changed and interestingly, things are beginning to go bad since corporal punishment is beginning to become abandoned. Parents are heavily involved in children's lives for the most part.
I heard in other countries parents r a lot more involved in there kids education. Like they help umm with there homework. Other than that I really dont know whats different
uhh
in korea
if you even tought about being a rebel and disrespecting your parents
then you get the boot up your ***
in korea
its all about respect towards your elders
well you can't beat your kids here...since it's abuse...but in other countries you can
im USA there is one parent.
in other countries most time there 2 parents.
';Papa, I want more goat meat.';
Kids starve in China.
u really dont want to know!
What is up with the thumbs down in Pregnancy/Parenting?
Okay, so I have noticed a trend. You look at all the answers and every single person has one thumbs down except for the last person who just posted. I mean when do yall give a thumbs down? I typically only give one if the answer is stupid, its a troll, or if the person was just guessing at the answer. In my opinion everyone is entitled to their own belief, and many questions have more that one answer! What is your views?What is up with the thumbs down in Pregnancy/Parenting?
Some people don't realize that what doesn't work for others may work for another group. We are so set on our own ideas and upbringings that we are so quick to reject what other people think, especially with it being so easy as to click a thumbs down icon.
You'd think with the internet (the way how ideas are spread easily), that we'd be a little more tolerant sometimes of the many other ideas out there. But it seems like everyone's resolve is even more set in stone than ever before.What is up with the thumbs down in Pregnancy/Parenting?
If you see TD like that, it was most likely a troll or someone who has nothing better to do than TD answers, especially to people that they don't like, or to answers of questions of people they don't like.
Personally I think that everyone should be entitled to their own opinions. However in some case scenarios some people tend to be just outright rude or cruel for no reason and I feel that those are the ones who should get a thumbs down..
Well if I think the person's answer is stupid, according to my view I thumb down it...or whatever that verb would be...
Some people don't realize that what doesn't work for others may work for another group. We are so set on our own ideas and upbringings that we are so quick to reject what other people think, especially with it being so easy as to click a thumbs down icon.
You'd think with the internet (the way how ideas are spread easily), that we'd be a little more tolerant sometimes of the many other ideas out there. But it seems like everyone's resolve is even more set in stone than ever before.What is up with the thumbs down in Pregnancy/Parenting?
If you see TD like that, it was most likely a troll or someone who has nothing better to do than TD answers, especially to people that they don't like, or to answers of questions of people they don't like.
Personally I think that everyone should be entitled to their own opinions. However in some case scenarios some people tend to be just outright rude or cruel for no reason and I feel that those are the ones who should get a thumbs down..
Well if I think the person's answer is stupid, according to my view I thumb down it...or whatever that verb would be...
How can we go about establishing minimum standards for parenting?
I've noticed such an overall decline in parenting standards in the last 10 to 15 years (as evidenced by what I've noticed to be a real growth in poorly behaved children and blas茅 parental response and proactiveness).
I've read that this might in part be due to everythign from a post 9-11 'baby spike' to the decline of the nuclear family.
But as I look around at these poorly behaved children, and declining moral values amongst tween and teens .. if in fact children are our future - what can we do to ensure better quality leaders of tomorrow..?
If the fault lies in poor parenting - what can we do to fix this problem?
more government intervention? cash incentives? parent licensing? mandetory parent re-education? free public early childhood education (preschool)?
?How can we go about establishing minimum standards for parenting?
Given the fact that we have to deal with the situation as it stands, I think more education is a good start. Both increased opportunity for education at younger ages (many private schools begin even as young as 3 years of age) as well as increased opportunity for higher education. Just getting adults to discipline their kids would be great as well. Too many parents fear reprecussions from doing actual parenting. It seems they want to be their kids best friends rather then the role model and disciplinarian they're supposed to be.
We've given children too much space as a society and that has enabled them to think they can essentially get away with whatever they want. I do agree, the breakdown of the nuclear family as well as both parents working (when two parents are still married) creates a situation where children spend a good portion of their time without supervision or instruction. We've become a society where we want our cake and to eat it too. Sacrafice is part of raising a family. My wife stays home with the kids and has put her career on hold for the greater good of our family overall and I shoulder the burden of working to care financially for the family. Kids need structure and discipline, without it we end up with problems like we have now.How can we go about establishing minimum standards for parenting?
Court-ordered vasectomies and tube-tying, haha. No seriously, there are some people who have 10 children with 10 different people. If they aren't gonna use birth control, then the court should pay for some tubes to be tied.
The way a parent behaves is how a child will.
Although it's not always the parents' fault. I have an aunt who rarely swears and doesn't use vulgar language, and her husband does, but not much, and their son is unbelievably foul. And I mean more than the average boy should be. At first I was amazed, but then I went to his house once and heard some of his friends. It was...really, really disturbing. I know that some of behavior is from home (his brother), but there's a lot of words that I know he would NEVER hear in his house.
And I have no idea why there are 11-year-olds walking around in high heels and miniskirts; I'm at a total loss on that one.
i think they should start by making mandatory drug tests for parents i can't believe how many parents do drugs its gross maybe they would think twice about having kids if they can;t get high anymore the only problem is who will take all the kids that are takin away
i'm sure your grandparents said the same thing about your generation
I've always been an advocate of mandatory parenting classes in school before the age at which the students are allowed to drop out, where they can be taught what to expect from their children at each stage of development and what type of upbringing children are known to respond to, and what the parents' proper role and responsibilities are. I think that's the best place to start. That and seriously addressing the growing gang problem.
We can't. Any woman willing to hold still for two minutes can give birth nine months later, and our government is extremely loath (with good reason) to take children away from even obviously unqualified mothers.
The good reason is that the government does a worse job of raising children than even an unqualified mother. LOL.
Oh, if ONLY we could require competence testing and issue licenses. I'm in, where do I sign?!
I really wish there there was a way to regulate this!
Perhaps, if parents had to PAY some outrageous fee, like...$10,000 for each child they gave birth to, only dedicated and responsible people would choose/be able to afford children lol
I've read that this might in part be due to everythign from a post 9-11 'baby spike' to the decline of the nuclear family.
But as I look around at these poorly behaved children, and declining moral values amongst tween and teens .. if in fact children are our future - what can we do to ensure better quality leaders of tomorrow..?
If the fault lies in poor parenting - what can we do to fix this problem?
more government intervention? cash incentives? parent licensing? mandetory parent re-education? free public early childhood education (preschool)?
?How can we go about establishing minimum standards for parenting?
Given the fact that we have to deal with the situation as it stands, I think more education is a good start. Both increased opportunity for education at younger ages (many private schools begin even as young as 3 years of age) as well as increased opportunity for higher education. Just getting adults to discipline their kids would be great as well. Too many parents fear reprecussions from doing actual parenting. It seems they want to be their kids best friends rather then the role model and disciplinarian they're supposed to be.
We've given children too much space as a society and that has enabled them to think they can essentially get away with whatever they want. I do agree, the breakdown of the nuclear family as well as both parents working (when two parents are still married) creates a situation where children spend a good portion of their time without supervision or instruction. We've become a society where we want our cake and to eat it too. Sacrafice is part of raising a family. My wife stays home with the kids and has put her career on hold for the greater good of our family overall and I shoulder the burden of working to care financially for the family. Kids need structure and discipline, without it we end up with problems like we have now.How can we go about establishing minimum standards for parenting?
Court-ordered vasectomies and tube-tying, haha. No seriously, there are some people who have 10 children with 10 different people. If they aren't gonna use birth control, then the court should pay for some tubes to be tied.
The way a parent behaves is how a child will.
Although it's not always the parents' fault. I have an aunt who rarely swears and doesn't use vulgar language, and her husband does, but not much, and their son is unbelievably foul. And I mean more than the average boy should be. At first I was amazed, but then I went to his house once and heard some of his friends. It was...really, really disturbing. I know that some of behavior is from home (his brother), but there's a lot of words that I know he would NEVER hear in his house.
And I have no idea why there are 11-year-olds walking around in high heels and miniskirts; I'm at a total loss on that one.
i think they should start by making mandatory drug tests for parents i can't believe how many parents do drugs its gross maybe they would think twice about having kids if they can;t get high anymore the only problem is who will take all the kids that are takin away
i'm sure your grandparents said the same thing about your generation
I've always been an advocate of mandatory parenting classes in school before the age at which the students are allowed to drop out, where they can be taught what to expect from their children at each stage of development and what type of upbringing children are known to respond to, and what the parents' proper role and responsibilities are. I think that's the best place to start. That and seriously addressing the growing gang problem.
We can't. Any woman willing to hold still for two minutes can give birth nine months later, and our government is extremely loath (with good reason) to take children away from even obviously unqualified mothers.
The good reason is that the government does a worse job of raising children than even an unqualified mother. LOL.
Oh, if ONLY we could require competence testing and issue licenses. I'm in, where do I sign?!
I really wish there there was a way to regulate this!
Perhaps, if parents had to PAY some outrageous fee, like...$10,000 for each child they gave birth to, only dedicated and responsible people would choose/be able to afford children lol
Does anyone know of any REALLY good overprotective parenting articles?
i will be 18 in 3 months, and my curfew is 10pm, i cant go to parties where there is drinking, i cant go to boys houses, i cant have friends over when they arent home, they have to know where i am at all times, we arent religious, and i havent done anything to lose their trust, any articles that i could present to them would be much appreciated!
thanks so much!Does anyone know of any REALLY good overprotective parenting articles?
If you live under your parents roof, they are very much in the right for all of that. As far as friends not being over when they are home, if something should happen there at their home, they need to know about it. I had to abide by those same rules when I was a kid. When my husband's niece lived with us, we also had that same rule. You shouldn't be going to parties where there is alcohol, anyway. You aren't 21. You do realize that at least for the next three months, if anything happens, such as you getting arrested for being at some party underage, your PARENTS will be charged? Yep. They have to know where you are at all times, because they are supposed to know. When my husband's niece lived with us, we had to know where she was at all times as well. What happens if you sneak off somewhere, get kidnapped or something, and your parents have no idea where to try and find you because you told them you'd be somewhere else? Or you didn't tell them at all where you were going? They wouldn't know where to begin looking for you.
Edit: That's how House Rules work. They who own the house get to make the rules.Does anyone know of any REALLY good overprotective parenting articles?
I'm only 23 years old and I think those are some great rules! They were the ones I had at your age and I'm very grateful for my parents giving me those rules now.
Read anything by Jim Fay
some rules seem a bit extreme, but the no alcohol parties seems like a good one. My mom had similar rules which i ignored and got into trouble, i started drinking at thirteen and got pregnant at 15, all for the sake of rebelling, or maybe getting attention, but honestly except for the curfew it seems like those are some good rules, it kept you out of trouble so far.
Jeez girl I'm sorry. I'm 13 and can go to parties (not drinking though). I can go to boys houses and go out places with them. My curfew gets worked out depending on the night. Usually around 11:30 on weekends, 10 on weekdays.
nope sorry. but jeez im 13 and i have more freedom than you.
yea try this one i just wrote:
overprotective parens are not cool and they should stop being overprotective.
You,
Should allow for you to turn 18, and then you are legal to do a few things...
I am just thinking, that you can ask,com it!!
Here is a link to quizes:
http://www.ask.com/web?q=Overprotective+鈥?/a>
Here is a link to articles: For you to deal with them!
http://www.ask.com/web?q=How+Do+I+Deal+w鈥?/a>
I had a mom, like this, and you know what, I graduated early and I did not get pregnant,so I say be glad!! Good Luck!!
Why do teens always think it's about trust? My son uses that one all the time. It's not about not trusting you, it is simply about looking out for your best interests. Believe me, I was raised like that and one day you will appreciate your parents concern and love for you.clinique
thanks so much!Does anyone know of any REALLY good overprotective parenting articles?
If you live under your parents roof, they are very much in the right for all of that. As far as friends not being over when they are home, if something should happen there at their home, they need to know about it. I had to abide by those same rules when I was a kid. When my husband's niece lived with us, we also had that same rule. You shouldn't be going to parties where there is alcohol, anyway. You aren't 21. You do realize that at least for the next three months, if anything happens, such as you getting arrested for being at some party underage, your PARENTS will be charged? Yep. They have to know where you are at all times, because they are supposed to know. When my husband's niece lived with us, we had to know where she was at all times as well. What happens if you sneak off somewhere, get kidnapped or something, and your parents have no idea where to try and find you because you told them you'd be somewhere else? Or you didn't tell them at all where you were going? They wouldn't know where to begin looking for you.
Edit: That's how House Rules work. They who own the house get to make the rules.Does anyone know of any REALLY good overprotective parenting articles?
I'm only 23 years old and I think those are some great rules! They were the ones I had at your age and I'm very grateful for my parents giving me those rules now.
Read anything by Jim Fay
some rules seem a bit extreme, but the no alcohol parties seems like a good one. My mom had similar rules which i ignored and got into trouble, i started drinking at thirteen and got pregnant at 15, all for the sake of rebelling, or maybe getting attention, but honestly except for the curfew it seems like those are some good rules, it kept you out of trouble so far.
Jeez girl I'm sorry. I'm 13 and can go to parties (not drinking though). I can go to boys houses and go out places with them. My curfew gets worked out depending on the night. Usually around 11:30 on weekends, 10 on weekdays.
nope sorry. but jeez im 13 and i have more freedom than you.
yea try this one i just wrote:
overprotective parens are not cool and they should stop being overprotective.
You,
Should allow for you to turn 18, and then you are legal to do a few things...
I am just thinking, that you can ask,com it!!
Here is a link to quizes:
http://www.ask.com/web?q=Overprotective+鈥?/a>
Here is a link to articles: For you to deal with them!
http://www.ask.com/web?q=How+Do+I+Deal+w鈥?/a>
I had a mom, like this, and you know what, I graduated early and I did not get pregnant,so I say be glad!! Good Luck!!
Why do teens always think it's about trust? My son uses that one all the time. It's not about not trusting you, it is simply about looking out for your best interests. Believe me, I was raised like that and one day you will appreciate your parents concern and love for you.
Where is the best place to advertise a parenting and pregnancy forum?
I have a new parenting and pregnancy forum that has been live since the 10th April (http://www.precious-babes.com) it is sponsored by another forum that is generating some traffic but I am not getting enough members actually registering, I have done lots of free submits google, yahoo - links on Myspace etc.
Where would you recommend the best place to advertise to get members registering and active? Thanks in advanceWhere is the best place to advertise a parenting and pregnancy forum?
Forums grow at a frustratingly slow rate, because they are by their very nature organic. It's also a saturated market - with Google groups, and so forth out there, it can be hard to get started.
1. Make the forum appear active. Yes, sometimes this requires a ';rent a crowd'; LOL... but you need all of your areas to have double or triple digit post counts.
2. Reply to posts fast. Whenever a post is made make sure you're ';ON IT'; and quick. Use RSS and other tools to help you increase your performance.
3. Relentlessly remove spam - and yes, it's frustrating as it can be. Put in lots of 'block' words on your forum settings to prevent any nastiness.
4. Bring in guest members who are professionals (e.g. an expert on post-partum depression, or an expert in meditation while pregnant.) They'll often answer questions for free for a week. Use your forums ';message all'; function to let everyone know they'e coming and ask them to ';send a friend.'; -- you set up a special forum section for them right at the top.
5. Use low-cost pay-per-click or pay-per-1000 marketing. Especially when the expert is coming. Your ads can be set to very low cost levels. Your ad might appear (in Google)
Questions about Pregnancy?
This week - free Q%26amp;A with ideas
of how to make things go well!
...for example.
6. Ask other, complimentary forums or blogs to link to you. Set up a ';thanks to the linkerarti'; section where you give links back to those folks.
7. Give away banners to people who can send you regular traffic. Yes, give away. I know it hurts but later you can reap the rewards.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
Scott Clark
Web Marketing Strategist
http://www.sitecreations.comWhere is the best place to advertise a parenting and pregnancy forum?
Try Ads-Promoter.com
They have very cheap advertising campaigns. They use proxy bidding. It is kind of like an auction. You only pay the highest bid.
http://www.ads-promoter.com
Where would you recommend the best place to advertise to get members registering and active? Thanks in advanceWhere is the best place to advertise a parenting and pregnancy forum?
Forums grow at a frustratingly slow rate, because they are by their very nature organic. It's also a saturated market - with Google groups, and so forth out there, it can be hard to get started.
1. Make the forum appear active. Yes, sometimes this requires a ';rent a crowd'; LOL... but you need all of your areas to have double or triple digit post counts.
2. Reply to posts fast. Whenever a post is made make sure you're ';ON IT'; and quick. Use RSS and other tools to help you increase your performance.
3. Relentlessly remove spam - and yes, it's frustrating as it can be. Put in lots of 'block' words on your forum settings to prevent any nastiness.
4. Bring in guest members who are professionals (e.g. an expert on post-partum depression, or an expert in meditation while pregnant.) They'll often answer questions for free for a week. Use your forums ';message all'; function to let everyone know they'e coming and ask them to ';send a friend.'; -- you set up a special forum section for them right at the top.
5. Use low-cost pay-per-click or pay-per-1000 marketing. Especially when the expert is coming. Your ads can be set to very low cost levels. Your ad might appear (in Google)
Questions about Pregnancy?
This week - free Q%26amp;A with ideas
of how to make things go well!
...for example.
6. Ask other, complimentary forums or blogs to link to you. Set up a ';thanks to the linkerarti'; section where you give links back to those folks.
7. Give away banners to people who can send you regular traffic. Yes, give away. I know it hurts but later you can reap the rewards.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
Scott Clark
Web Marketing Strategist
http://www.sitecreations.comWhere is the best place to advertise a parenting and pregnancy forum?
Try Ads-Promoter.com
They have very cheap advertising campaigns. They use proxy bidding. It is kind of like an auction. You only pay the highest bid.
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Responsible parenting about to be a thing of the past-or am I just over-reacting & draconian?
So, children of 13 to be allowed to decide their own medical treatment regardless of the parents wishes.
So Mums %26amp; Dads prepare for your offspring to be on the pill, having abortions, and generally refusing treatment if they don't want it with the laws blessing!
Do you think it's a good thing or is this the liberal brigade going from the sublime to the ridiculous?Responsible parenting about to be a thing of the past-or am I just over-reacting %26amp; draconian?
You are reacting the way any responsible, caring parent would react to this news. It is MADNESS to let 13 year old CHILDREN make decisions regarding something as important as their health. It just makes the divide between parents and their children wider and removes any possibility of parents being able to help their children through an awkward age, encouraging secrecy and deceit instead of promoting unity and honesty.Responsible parenting about to be a thing of the past-or am I just over-reacting %26amp; draconian?
if your child came to you at 13 and said they wanted to go on the pill natural reaction is to say no way your far to young or worse not come to you at all , so a third option in my eyes is a good idea. all you ever can do is guide your kids the rest is down to them.
Er, yes, ';over-reacting and draconian';.
This is totally ridiculous and potentially very dangerous! 13 year olds are NOT adults, if they were then they could vote, live on their own and have a full time paid job! Our local news showed a report the other day where kids in schools are no longer allowed to wash up incase they stab themselves, slip on water spilt etc. The fact it is deemed dangerous for kids to play conkers now!!!! It seems to go from one extreme to the other! I say its time to let kids go back to being kids like they were when I was young and let adults be adults!
I think it's pretty scary. Some 13 years old may be a little more mature than others but 13 is 13! They know what they want (What they think they want) Are under pressure from their peer group and advertising. At that age they do know to say no if and sadly not always to right person and often for the wrong reason. as in! Show mum ad dad they're growing up and will make their own mind up.
What next? Will 13 years old be deemed responsible enough to join the army full time, vote, leave mum and dad and set up home?
The liberal brigade wins again and i sometimes wonder ... Do these people have children themselves? And what kind of an upbringing have they given them? I wonder!
I think I would rather my child went to a doctor and asked for contraception, than had an unwanted pregnancy. However, I agree with you - I took my daughter to the doctgor recently and went into the room with her. It was quite clear the doctor regarded me as superflous, and I had to assert myself. My daughter didn't have the confidence and the knowledge to ask the questions relating to her condition and would have walked out of there, without the information she needed.
So I am uncomfortable with this. Kids are kids.
And are the doctors prepared to be sued if a child dies because they have taken medication incorrectly, or some such?
It is definitely the liberal brigade going from the sublime to the ridiculous
What does it matter? Most children are going to listen to their mother or father because they look up to them. The only difference I can see is that a child can't be forced to have an abortion which is a good thing.
Edit:
';I think it's pretty scary. Some 13 years old may be a little more mature than others but 13 is 13! They know what they want (What they think they want) Are under pressure from their peer group and advertising. At that age they do know to say no if and sadly not always to right person and often for the wrong reason. as in! Show mum ad dad they're growing up and will make their own mind up.';
When I was thirteen I didn't think like the majority of the population. I got along far better with people way older than me. I'm twenty two and I still don't think like the majority of the population, which I find rather funny. Peer pressure has never affected me, I'm assuming its my morals and also because I think for myself.
its another victory for the liberal brigade, argh!!!!!!!!!
no its ridiculous but having said that childhoods were a victorian concept. Beofre that all but rich kids went out to work as soon as they were useful.
There are plenty of teenagers kicking up their heels on the street - if they wont stay in school and pass exams I think they ought to be fast trcked into a trade or something useful than causing havoc on the streets because they are bored or wish to emulate some rapper twat.
From what I understand doctors will counsel this age group to speak to their parents.
Actually I think this is a good move and is protecting the rights of children. Lets face it, many kids CANNOT tell parents whats going on with them. Its sad but true. Ok so a 13 year old could have an abortion without parental consent, which is tragic, but think of the kids who if forced to tell parents, are marched off for an abortion without their having had any part in the decision making process.
Yes a 13 very young but i do believe this is an age where children can make decisions about their own health and bodies.
As a mum, of course i would prefer to know if my son is having underage sex. However it his right not to tell me. And just like I wouldnt read his diary, I understand that he has the right to privacy. Fortunately we have a great relationship and does tell me everything.
Plus surely speaking to a doctor regarding contraception is a mature thing to do. Of course abstinence is the ideal and should be promoted to children, but living in the real world it does happen and we need to be realistic.
I find the whole thing totally irresponsible.
We, as parents have the ultimate responsibility of looking after and caring for our children.
What right has anyone to tell us how to do this.
Children need guidance and no-one knows their own child better than their parents.
We already have a youth culture that shows little respect for anyone or anything, these idiots don't have a clue.
Ridiculous.
Let them reach 18 be responsible enough and after that their own decision but following advise.
Experience is important not just the ';Know how';.
it has been a thing of the past since the human rights crap came in
The whole issue of Parenting has got out of control.
The trouble is the govt is trying to cater for every known religion/belief in what has become a multi-cultural nation - for better or worse.
Policing is becoming impossible.
It really is a case of trying to keep everybody happy, which as we all know never works.
When in Rome - Do as Romans do Please and if you do not like our values then please either shut up or go home!
We had stable homes with 2 parents 100 years ago - what went wrong?
I think everyone should have a right to protect there own body. Including teenagers.
I'm glad the laws help teens make their own decisions. Of course, parents will try to influance thier teens, but the teens should have the final say for themselves.
On a personal level I think the problems will escalate letting them decide what medical treatment they can have even if it goes against the parents wishes. Already the figures are up for under age pregnancies, what will it be like if this happens Children giving birth to children!
It's nothing to do with the 'liberal brigade' (whatever that is) it is to do with government legislation made by a government that does not understand the role, and the importance that the family plays in society, and feels that more emphasis should be given to people's rights, rather than people's duties.
This should not surprise you given that it is now legal to leave under 4 year olds in charge of 18 months old children.
I would not have a problem with my child choosing abortion, but would want HER to tell me so I could support her.
Some girls are not so lucky to be able to talk to their mothers, or know their mothers are against abortion. The law has to address the young woman's right to choose the option for her intended future. Not the parents.
If a young girl of 14 wants uni and a career, then I think the law is right to allow abortions, pill to girls without parental consent.
It would be nice if all mothers could offer support, once the initial shock has passed, alas some mothers cant.
It is ridiculous particularly since under 14's are considered too young to be responsible for criminal actions!
The law is and ***.
I agree with storm but would like to add that it does not matter what the law says about this, how YOU bring YOUR children up will be key to this. If you have an open and honest relationship with your child with clear boundaries that you are the adult in the realtionship, this kind of issue will seldom arise.
It will be very useful for the children storm speaks of, those who cannot speak to their parents or need to have treatment that is against their parents religion - think of Jeovah Witness' for example, it is a child's right not to follow the religion of their parents - of course this is difficult for professionals such as Dr's and Social Workers for example to manage but legislation like this will help.
Proper parenting in still the key here, if your child is secure, loved and well looked after, they would not need to go behind your back for medical treatment.
Regarding your statement about the pill and abortions, 13 year olds can already get these services without parental consent. Family Planning staff need to assess what was known as 'Gillick Competency' before providing a service and would always explore with the child why they cannot discuss this with a parent or other responsible adult close to them and encourage them wherever possible to do so.
The new legislation will not change this,
edit
A 13 year old would be sectioned in any case if she was so desperately ill that she required medical attention and was refusing, parents cannot force a 13 year old into hospital, in that case sectioning is traumatic but very necessary I'm afraid.
edit
I don't know where spencer is living but the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is 10
will this cut down teenage pregnancies, how many screwed up adults will be out there in the future due to abortions with no family support. Abortion is a traumatic time for anyone, with a lot of women regretting it, how is a young girl going to feel when she is discharged from hospital but can not tell her family.
As parents we are responsible for our children says the law regarding crime and underage drinking, the parents get the fine, is this going to change too, making teenagers responsible for crime and drinking too, doubt it, who would pay the fines then
I think things are better for kids of today, but I wish they would let them actually be KIDS. There can be such a thing as too much freedom and independence. They still need guidance at 13. Who didn't grow up and realise their parents only ever tried to stop them making silly mistakes they may regret ?
So Mums %26amp; Dads prepare for your offspring to be on the pill, having abortions, and generally refusing treatment if they don't want it with the laws blessing!
Do you think it's a good thing or is this the liberal brigade going from the sublime to the ridiculous?Responsible parenting about to be a thing of the past-or am I just over-reacting %26amp; draconian?
You are reacting the way any responsible, caring parent would react to this news. It is MADNESS to let 13 year old CHILDREN make decisions regarding something as important as their health. It just makes the divide between parents and their children wider and removes any possibility of parents being able to help their children through an awkward age, encouraging secrecy and deceit instead of promoting unity and honesty.Responsible parenting about to be a thing of the past-or am I just over-reacting %26amp; draconian?
if your child came to you at 13 and said they wanted to go on the pill natural reaction is to say no way your far to young or worse not come to you at all , so a third option in my eyes is a good idea. all you ever can do is guide your kids the rest is down to them.
Er, yes, ';over-reacting and draconian';.
This is totally ridiculous and potentially very dangerous! 13 year olds are NOT adults, if they were then they could vote, live on their own and have a full time paid job! Our local news showed a report the other day where kids in schools are no longer allowed to wash up incase they stab themselves, slip on water spilt etc. The fact it is deemed dangerous for kids to play conkers now!!!! It seems to go from one extreme to the other! I say its time to let kids go back to being kids like they were when I was young and let adults be adults!
I think it's pretty scary. Some 13 years old may be a little more mature than others but 13 is 13! They know what they want (What they think they want) Are under pressure from their peer group and advertising. At that age they do know to say no if and sadly not always to right person and often for the wrong reason. as in! Show mum ad dad they're growing up and will make their own mind up.
What next? Will 13 years old be deemed responsible enough to join the army full time, vote, leave mum and dad and set up home?
The liberal brigade wins again and i sometimes wonder ... Do these people have children themselves? And what kind of an upbringing have they given them? I wonder!
I think I would rather my child went to a doctor and asked for contraception, than had an unwanted pregnancy. However, I agree with you - I took my daughter to the doctgor recently and went into the room with her. It was quite clear the doctor regarded me as superflous, and I had to assert myself. My daughter didn't have the confidence and the knowledge to ask the questions relating to her condition and would have walked out of there, without the information she needed.
So I am uncomfortable with this. Kids are kids.
And are the doctors prepared to be sued if a child dies because they have taken medication incorrectly, or some such?
It is definitely the liberal brigade going from the sublime to the ridiculous
What does it matter? Most children are going to listen to their mother or father because they look up to them. The only difference I can see is that a child can't be forced to have an abortion which is a good thing.
Edit:
';I think it's pretty scary. Some 13 years old may be a little more mature than others but 13 is 13! They know what they want (What they think they want) Are under pressure from their peer group and advertising. At that age they do know to say no if and sadly not always to right person and often for the wrong reason. as in! Show mum ad dad they're growing up and will make their own mind up.';
When I was thirteen I didn't think like the majority of the population. I got along far better with people way older than me. I'm twenty two and I still don't think like the majority of the population, which I find rather funny. Peer pressure has never affected me, I'm assuming its my morals and also because I think for myself.
its another victory for the liberal brigade, argh!!!!!!!!!
no its ridiculous but having said that childhoods were a victorian concept. Beofre that all but rich kids went out to work as soon as they were useful.
There are plenty of teenagers kicking up their heels on the street - if they wont stay in school and pass exams I think they ought to be fast trcked into a trade or something useful than causing havoc on the streets because they are bored or wish to emulate some rapper twat.
From what I understand doctors will counsel this age group to speak to their parents.
Actually I think this is a good move and is protecting the rights of children. Lets face it, many kids CANNOT tell parents whats going on with them. Its sad but true. Ok so a 13 year old could have an abortion without parental consent, which is tragic, but think of the kids who if forced to tell parents, are marched off for an abortion without their having had any part in the decision making process.
Yes a 13 very young but i do believe this is an age where children can make decisions about their own health and bodies.
As a mum, of course i would prefer to know if my son is having underage sex. However it his right not to tell me. And just like I wouldnt read his diary, I understand that he has the right to privacy. Fortunately we have a great relationship and does tell me everything.
Plus surely speaking to a doctor regarding contraception is a mature thing to do. Of course abstinence is the ideal and should be promoted to children, but living in the real world it does happen and we need to be realistic.
I find the whole thing totally irresponsible.
We, as parents have the ultimate responsibility of looking after and caring for our children.
What right has anyone to tell us how to do this.
Children need guidance and no-one knows their own child better than their parents.
We already have a youth culture that shows little respect for anyone or anything, these idiots don't have a clue.
Ridiculous.
Let them reach 18 be responsible enough and after that their own decision but following advise.
Experience is important not just the ';Know how';.
it has been a thing of the past since the human rights crap came in
The whole issue of Parenting has got out of control.
The trouble is the govt is trying to cater for every known religion/belief in what has become a multi-cultural nation - for better or worse.
Policing is becoming impossible.
It really is a case of trying to keep everybody happy, which as we all know never works.
When in Rome - Do as Romans do Please and if you do not like our values then please either shut up or go home!
We had stable homes with 2 parents 100 years ago - what went wrong?
I think everyone should have a right to protect there own body. Including teenagers.
I'm glad the laws help teens make their own decisions. Of course, parents will try to influance thier teens, but the teens should have the final say for themselves.
On a personal level I think the problems will escalate letting them decide what medical treatment they can have even if it goes against the parents wishes. Already the figures are up for under age pregnancies, what will it be like if this happens Children giving birth to children!
It's nothing to do with the 'liberal brigade' (whatever that is) it is to do with government legislation made by a government that does not understand the role, and the importance that the family plays in society, and feels that more emphasis should be given to people's rights, rather than people's duties.
This should not surprise you given that it is now legal to leave under 4 year olds in charge of 18 months old children.
I would not have a problem with my child choosing abortion, but would want HER to tell me so I could support her.
Some girls are not so lucky to be able to talk to their mothers, or know their mothers are against abortion. The law has to address the young woman's right to choose the option for her intended future. Not the parents.
If a young girl of 14 wants uni and a career, then I think the law is right to allow abortions, pill to girls without parental consent.
It would be nice if all mothers could offer support, once the initial shock has passed, alas some mothers cant.
It is ridiculous particularly since under 14's are considered too young to be responsible for criminal actions!
The law is and ***.
I agree with storm but would like to add that it does not matter what the law says about this, how YOU bring YOUR children up will be key to this. If you have an open and honest relationship with your child with clear boundaries that you are the adult in the realtionship, this kind of issue will seldom arise.
It will be very useful for the children storm speaks of, those who cannot speak to their parents or need to have treatment that is against their parents religion - think of Jeovah Witness' for example, it is a child's right not to follow the religion of their parents - of course this is difficult for professionals such as Dr's and Social Workers for example to manage but legislation like this will help.
Proper parenting in still the key here, if your child is secure, loved and well looked after, they would not need to go behind your back for medical treatment.
Regarding your statement about the pill and abortions, 13 year olds can already get these services without parental consent. Family Planning staff need to assess what was known as 'Gillick Competency' before providing a service and would always explore with the child why they cannot discuss this with a parent or other responsible adult close to them and encourage them wherever possible to do so.
The new legislation will not change this,
edit
A 13 year old would be sectioned in any case if she was so desperately ill that she required medical attention and was refusing, parents cannot force a 13 year old into hospital, in that case sectioning is traumatic but very necessary I'm afraid.
edit
I don't know where spencer is living but the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is 10
will this cut down teenage pregnancies, how many screwed up adults will be out there in the future due to abortions with no family support. Abortion is a traumatic time for anyone, with a lot of women regretting it, how is a young girl going to feel when she is discharged from hospital but can not tell her family.
As parents we are responsible for our children says the law regarding crime and underage drinking, the parents get the fine, is this going to change too, making teenagers responsible for crime and drinking too, doubt it, who would pay the fines then
I think things are better for kids of today, but I wish they would let them actually be KIDS. There can be such a thing as too much freedom and independence. They still need guidance at 13. Who didn't grow up and realise their parents only ever tried to stop them making silly mistakes they may regret ?
What are some good teen pregnancy or teen parenting books and movies?
I have already read
Slam
Hanging on to max
Someone like you
And I've seen:
Too young to be a dad
Mom at sixteen
Secret life of the American teenager
What are some others similar to those?What are some good teen pregnancy or teen parenting books and movies?
Juno is an awesome movie :D
Books in that genre I haven't read...
But I found these recommendations on the internet :s
Waiting For June by Joyce Sweeney
Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff
Luck!
Slam
Hanging on to max
Someone like you
And I've seen:
Too young to be a dad
Mom at sixteen
Secret life of the American teenager
What are some others similar to those?What are some good teen pregnancy or teen parenting books and movies?
Juno is an awesome movie :D
Books in that genre I haven't read...
But I found these recommendations on the internet :s
Waiting For June by Joyce Sweeney
Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff
Luck!
Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?
My husband seems to think he can stick me with our daughter all night until 1 AM while he plays games with our friend. Other times also he is expected to watch her and, mind you, there is a difference between watching and participating in his child's, life. Will I always be the only one who works, and participates in our daughter's life? We are waiting for counseling which is not until December. What do I do to keep from going crazy? I gave up nagging him. I have done everything I can to get him to participate.Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?
lol my hubby is the exact same...... it gives me the sh*ts sometimes but allwell .....Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?
sometimes men need to see what they are going to lose if they don't change..i took my then 3 month old baby overseas,left him a letter saying it's up to him whether I should still come back...luckily he realized his short comings. good luck.
You know what? Next time he wants to do something with you (watch a movie, buy groceries, go bowling, whatever), sit there with your arms folded across your chest and stare off into the distance disinterestedly. If he says anything to you, mumble something incoherent back to him. If he asks you a question, shrug and say 'I dunno';. Then when he says something about how you're 'no fun', come back with a one-liner like 'Your daughter feels the same way'.
He might get the picture then.
He has no idea how to engage your daughter to be active in her life.
Also, just to prep you a bit - when you do get to counseling, be prepared for things you need to work on as well.
You have made a transition from 100% girlfriend to 100% mother and that ends marriages.
You can do something they way you want it done or accept the way someone else does it.
If you are ';stuck'; with your daughter then you're not all that engaged in her life either.
It's a tough transition for both of you - hang in there.
The first year (maybe two years) with the first child is the hardest.
I'm a single parent raising an 8yr old son i don't need a wife in my life.
unfortunately, sometimes it just can't be helped. There are lots of things you can tell him, explain to him how important it is to be a FATHER rather than a babysitter but if he won't accept what you say, he won't. Men tend to be less involved in very young children anyway because kids aren't as exciting as whatever else they could be doing. Men tend to think that kids will just naturally love and respect and adore them and to some degree its true but how surprised they get when their adoring little toddler turns into a sullen pre-teen who could care less about him.
On the other hand, you have to be careful; there are different parenting styles and men are allowed to spend their time with their children as they see fit. You can't be arbiter of what's the ';correct'; way to interact with the children. YOu can give suggestions and guidance but sometimes they'll just do things differently.
I really thought it was wrong of my husband to always ';watch'; the baby by sitting her on his lap while he played on the computer. But now she enjoys her daddy-time because he puts sesame street videos on one window for her while reading the internet for himself. However, I have on occasion insisted that he go down to her room and spend time letting her do what SHE wants; balance is important and I did tell him that it was unfair to expect her to ALWAYS do what he wanted. Even a toddler has the right to choose her own entertainment occasionally.
Good luck.
Evidentally someone was not ready to become a responsible human being. Let alone a husband or a father.
No. Not all men are like this. The man I married is a great husband and father. Meaning he helps me, helps around the house and with the kids. He's very hands on and very good at what he does.
Sure he doesn't get up with our newborn daughter but he works. So I get up with her. I can sleep during the day, he can't.
You married a boy. Hopefully he decides to become a man soon.
Why do women allow this behavior from men? Didn't he help make that child? So therefore he should help take care of her. Hide all that immature **** from him, and demand a change....as MEN who have children become MEN and FATHERS.
take all the power adapters for the video games and hide them. then cancel the cable and watch him divorce you or participate in raising that child(i wouldn't actually)
No, it depends on the man in your life. I have always be involved with both of my kids from the start and cannot understand why he would not. Maybe he is stressed, no ready for family life. Instead of nagging him just let it go and let him come to his senses. If he choose not to participate it is his loss and he will regret it one day. There is extra load on you, so maybe ask family to help out if you can. If he does not want to do it himself your daughter will also notice and nothing is resolved.
Your husband is only doing what he has been allowed to get away with doing. The only men who act unmotivated to do housework or parenting or men who have had mothers and wives who cater to them and tolerate their laziness and b.s.
think things thru, maybe waiting for therapy is not an option.....
I understand your frustration, as it also frustrates me as a man to hear about someone blessed with a beautiful child but doesn't want to be a partner in her upbringing. I think counseling really is the best thing you can do. Maybe a counselor has ways to explain the importance of a father in a child's life, and also the importance of supporting his partner. A counselor may also be able to help you with ways to encourage him to get involved. It's so good of you to want the best for your child, and I hope your husband will realize not only how fortunate he is that you care so much, but also how important his role is as a parent. Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
I have no choice im a single dad but house work sucks . Its just not in us . If you seen the clutter around my house you would say yes men are not capable of keeping a clean house . Its just not in us ,
lol my hubby is the exact same...... it gives me the sh*ts sometimes but allwell .....Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?
sometimes men need to see what they are going to lose if they don't change..i took my then 3 month old baby overseas,left him a letter saying it's up to him whether I should still come back...luckily he realized his short comings. good luck.
You know what? Next time he wants to do something with you (watch a movie, buy groceries, go bowling, whatever), sit there with your arms folded across your chest and stare off into the distance disinterestedly. If he says anything to you, mumble something incoherent back to him. If he asks you a question, shrug and say 'I dunno';. Then when he says something about how you're 'no fun', come back with a one-liner like 'Your daughter feels the same way'.
He might get the picture then.
He has no idea how to engage your daughter to be active in her life.
Also, just to prep you a bit - when you do get to counseling, be prepared for things you need to work on as well.
You have made a transition from 100% girlfriend to 100% mother and that ends marriages.
You can do something they way you want it done or accept the way someone else does it.
If you are ';stuck'; with your daughter then you're not all that engaged in her life either.
It's a tough transition for both of you - hang in there.
The first year (maybe two years) with the first child is the hardest.
I'm a single parent raising an 8yr old son i don't need a wife in my life.
unfortunately, sometimes it just can't be helped. There are lots of things you can tell him, explain to him how important it is to be a FATHER rather than a babysitter but if he won't accept what you say, he won't. Men tend to be less involved in very young children anyway because kids aren't as exciting as whatever else they could be doing. Men tend to think that kids will just naturally love and respect and adore them and to some degree its true but how surprised they get when their adoring little toddler turns into a sullen pre-teen who could care less about him.
On the other hand, you have to be careful; there are different parenting styles and men are allowed to spend their time with their children as they see fit. You can't be arbiter of what's the ';correct'; way to interact with the children. YOu can give suggestions and guidance but sometimes they'll just do things differently.
I really thought it was wrong of my husband to always ';watch'; the baby by sitting her on his lap while he played on the computer. But now she enjoys her daddy-time because he puts sesame street videos on one window for her while reading the internet for himself. However, I have on occasion insisted that he go down to her room and spend time letting her do what SHE wants; balance is important and I did tell him that it was unfair to expect her to ALWAYS do what he wanted. Even a toddler has the right to choose her own entertainment occasionally.
Good luck.
Evidentally someone was not ready to become a responsible human being. Let alone a husband or a father.
No. Not all men are like this. The man I married is a great husband and father. Meaning he helps me, helps around the house and with the kids. He's very hands on and very good at what he does.
Sure he doesn't get up with our newborn daughter but he works. So I get up with her. I can sleep during the day, he can't.
You married a boy. Hopefully he decides to become a man soon.
Why do women allow this behavior from men? Didn't he help make that child? So therefore he should help take care of her. Hide all that immature **** from him, and demand a change....as MEN who have children become MEN and FATHERS.
take all the power adapters for the video games and hide them. then cancel the cable and watch him divorce you or participate in raising that child(i wouldn't actually)
No, it depends on the man in your life. I have always be involved with both of my kids from the start and cannot understand why he would not. Maybe he is stressed, no ready for family life. Instead of nagging him just let it go and let him come to his senses. If he choose not to participate it is his loss and he will regret it one day. There is extra load on you, so maybe ask family to help out if you can. If he does not want to do it himself your daughter will also notice and nothing is resolved.
Your husband is only doing what he has been allowed to get away with doing. The only men who act unmotivated to do housework or parenting or men who have had mothers and wives who cater to them and tolerate their laziness and b.s.
think things thru, maybe waiting for therapy is not an option.....
I understand your frustration, as it also frustrates me as a man to hear about someone blessed with a beautiful child but doesn't want to be a partner in her upbringing. I think counseling really is the best thing you can do. Maybe a counselor has ways to explain the importance of a father in a child's life, and also the importance of supporting his partner. A counselor may also be able to help you with ways to encourage him to get involved. It's so good of you to want the best for your child, and I hope your husband will realize not only how fortunate he is that you care so much, but also how important his role is as a parent. Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
I have no choice im a single dad but house work sucks . Its just not in us . If you seen the clutter around my house you would say yes men are not capable of keeping a clean house . Its just not in us ,
How to be polite to parents at Mommy and Me parenting class ?
I enrolled me and my 21 month old son to attend Mommy %26amp; Me summer school at the local school in town. I need help on how to behave. I know it sounds silly but even though my son is a toddler I still feel like a brand new mom... i feel like an amuture I suppose. To all experienced mommies I have two questions
How can I make friends with these other mothers?
What do I do when another child is mean to my son or doesnt want to share with my child?How to be polite to parents at Mommy and Me parenting class ?
Good for you for joining a Mommy and Me class! I think a great way to strike up a conversation with other moms by asking the same question you posted here. Find out how they usually handle it when other children are misbehaving toward their own. You'll probably find that the other mothers in the class struggle with the same things you do and are also a little unsure of when to let their kids play on their own, when to hover, and when to intervene if another child is being mean or not sharing with their own.
You'll get some answers to your questions and you'll probably make some great friends. Besides, more experienced mom LOVE giving advice to newer mommies. They'll LOVE you!
Also don't forget that you know your child best and trust your instincts in how much you hover and how much you let your child go play.
You are a great mommy for doing this. Have a great time, enjoy the class and your toddler, and I hope you meet some great new friends!How to be polite to parents at Mommy and Me parenting class ?
These are fun and awkward sessions. All the mommies want their kids to have fun and play nice. Just be friendly and encourage your little one to play with the other kids. Let our child know you're there but step back and watch. If you're child is hitting or getting hit step in and gently correct them. If you allow your child to hit you won't be very popular, believe me! LOL. If your child is being bullied redirect him to play somewhere else. If it continues point it out to the bully's mom. Kids that age aren't trying to be mean, they're just used to getting their own way.
After you go a few times and chat with the moms, invite one of them to lunch, especially if you see your kids get along.
start with a question regarding the mothers child and let a conversation build. remarks like aren't they bright and how long has your little one been talking always invoked a response... with sharing your dealing with another lion protecting her cub all you can do is remind your child to share and be fair ... do not confront another mother let them observe their child if there's intelligence in there she'll correct her child. i run a story group with mothers and children . i insist the rules be followed by all children and i have mothers interact with each other so friendships can be formed
Just be polite and talk to them. If the kids are mean to your son correct them and tell them to be nice. If the other parents don't like you correcting their children then that's their problem because they should have corrected it themselves before they got there.
Feeling like your an amiture is very natural. The olny way to make new fridend in your Mommy %26amp; Me class is to talk to other moms. Ask questions about things your child is doing to see if others are experiencing the same thing. Invite others for coffee after class or plan a playdate with the other children. This will let you get to know the other moms and also expand your own childs social skills.
When your in the class don't hover over your child. Let him explore. When another child is mean to yours and the other parent doesn't say anything just move your child away and offer him something else to play with. At 3 they are not the best at sharing.
The more you relax and get to know the other moms in your class the better you will feel about it.clinique
How can I make friends with these other mothers?
What do I do when another child is mean to my son or doesnt want to share with my child?How to be polite to parents at Mommy and Me parenting class ?
Good for you for joining a Mommy and Me class! I think a great way to strike up a conversation with other moms by asking the same question you posted here. Find out how they usually handle it when other children are misbehaving toward their own. You'll probably find that the other mothers in the class struggle with the same things you do and are also a little unsure of when to let their kids play on their own, when to hover, and when to intervene if another child is being mean or not sharing with their own.
You'll get some answers to your questions and you'll probably make some great friends. Besides, more experienced mom LOVE giving advice to newer mommies. They'll LOVE you!
Also don't forget that you know your child best and trust your instincts in how much you hover and how much you let your child go play.
You are a great mommy for doing this. Have a great time, enjoy the class and your toddler, and I hope you meet some great new friends!How to be polite to parents at Mommy and Me parenting class ?
These are fun and awkward sessions. All the mommies want their kids to have fun and play nice. Just be friendly and encourage your little one to play with the other kids. Let our child know you're there but step back and watch. If you're child is hitting or getting hit step in and gently correct them. If you allow your child to hit you won't be very popular, believe me! LOL. If your child is being bullied redirect him to play somewhere else. If it continues point it out to the bully's mom. Kids that age aren't trying to be mean, they're just used to getting their own way.
After you go a few times and chat with the moms, invite one of them to lunch, especially if you see your kids get along.
start with a question regarding the mothers child and let a conversation build. remarks like aren't they bright and how long has your little one been talking always invoked a response... with sharing your dealing with another lion protecting her cub all you can do is remind your child to share and be fair ... do not confront another mother let them observe their child if there's intelligence in there she'll correct her child. i run a story group with mothers and children . i insist the rules be followed by all children and i have mothers interact with each other so friendships can be formed
Just be polite and talk to them. If the kids are mean to your son correct them and tell them to be nice. If the other parents don't like you correcting their children then that's their problem because they should have corrected it themselves before they got there.
Feeling like your an amiture is very natural. The olny way to make new fridend in your Mommy %26amp; Me class is to talk to other moms. Ask questions about things your child is doing to see if others are experiencing the same thing. Invite others for coffee after class or plan a playdate with the other children. This will let you get to know the other moms and also expand your own childs social skills.
When your in the class don't hover over your child. Let him explore. When another child is mean to yours and the other parent doesn't say anything just move your child away and offer him something else to play with. At 3 they are not the best at sharing.
The more you relax and get to know the other moms in your class the better you will feel about it.
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