Saturday, August 21, 2010

What is your biggest parenting pet peeve?

What's your biggest parenting pet peeve? What ticks you off the most and gets you the most rilled up in a debate? Breastfeeding? Spanking? Circumcision? Baby ear piercings? Improper car seat usage? Anything....What is your biggest parenting pet peeve?
Empty threats. I can't stand when parents say, ';If you don't...., then you're going to..........'; And then when the child calls their bluff, the parent does nothing or issues them a second, third, fifty-ninth chance.


Parents, if you tell your child they're going to get a consequence for something they do, you'd better follow through with it, because if you don't, you're doing nothing more than training your kids that everything you say is without substance, or can be negotiated through arguments or fits.What is your biggest parenting pet peeve?
People who treat children like they're invalids / pets / less human than adults. Or like they're property. Like they don't have the same feelings and needs as adults, that they're not worthy of respect and dignity. It really pisses me off when I see parents standing around insulting or demeaning their children (whether to another adult or to the child's face), talking about how much they dislike them, et cetera. It always shocks me. The longer I'm around my kids, people I willingly and lovingly spend time with and genuinely like as people, the harder it is for me to understand that a lot of parents just don't seem to like their children very much, regardless of if they love them.





And this whole parenting with the goal of absolute obedience thing. The kind of parents that threaten, use physical punishment, emotional blackmail, and intimidation to rigidly control everything about a child. Now that really scares me.


I'm all for respectful, mannerly people - including children - but something about wanting ABSOLUTE compliance and conformity to every whim of a parent really unnerves me. It seems like they're *training* their children, rather than raising them. Like they're dogs or something.





If you want something to be absolutely obedient, to think of nothing but pleasing you, to be unquestioning, totally submissive, and impress the neighbours with its manners and cleverness, then spare a kid and get yourself a collie.





PEOPLE aren't and shouldn't BE completely obedient and unquestioning. That's just setting them up to be taken advantage of, isn't it?


Unquestioning people are weak. I want my kids to be strong, and if that means questioning my judgement occasionally, in non life-or-death situations, if that means keeping me in check and me having to admit that sometimes I am wrong, then so be it. I'm glad my children aren't so afraid of me that they won't speak out when they feel something is wrong. Because if they can speak up for themselves to me when they feel I'm doing something wrong, and I know it's hard for them to because they do respect me a lot; then they can do it to anyone they feel is harming them in some way, be it emotionally, physically, psychologically.





To me, if you want someone - child or adult - to respect you and WANT to be good for and to you, then you need to respect and be good to them. You don't earn a child's willingness to do as you ask by frightening them and being unkind - you might get compliance, but it's the wrong kind. It's fear-based compliance and the illusion of respect, rather than true willingness and true respect and regard. Compliance and willingness are two very different things, with two very different emotional consequences, that unfortunately a lot of parents mistake for the same thing because outwardly, they look similar.
Circumcision. I don't respect anyone who hurts their child and takes away their childs human rights.


I also don't like ear peircings because honestly people if you want something to cut up, peirce, tattoo or what ever get a dog. But babies are human beings and their body belongs to them, LEAVE IT ALONE. Peirce, tattoo, circumcise yourselfs if you feel the need.





I think parents need to just shut up and realise that they aren't that special. Just because they are your child doesn't mean they are your property.





Circumcision is my biggest petpeeve for this one tho. Mostly because my parents forced me to do it and didn't give me a choice. Or they didn't trust me enough to have a choice. They put me through severe pain and took away a good chunk away from my sexlife all because they wanted to. Thanks parents, your so swell. *eye roll*





-Connor
well first of all ditto to what lily said, kids are people too theyre just smaller people. my other pet peeve is when people compare my kids, theyre close in age and as different as night and day. my older daughter is quiet and well behaved, my boy, is well... not. he is a sweet natured and spirited boy that doesnt fully understand the concept of ';quiet time';he likes it fast and loud. he has trouble concentrating and is very stubborn, but like i said hes sweet, he gives hugs and ';luvins'; all the time and is never too shy to talk to new people. i cant stand that people dote so much on my daughter and ignore my boy, at best.
people telling me that I'm being overprotective of my premature baby. I want to say do you talk to her neonatologists? Her pediatrician? Hve read about prematurity? Haven't all of your children been born healthy? Then shut up!


After that its telling me how to raise my baby. Old school let em cry it out and don't form an unhealthy attachment....blah blah fruedian ****.


I want to say you raised your kid your way (great job too, he was a drug addict and alchoholic at fourteen) now I'm going to raise my kid how I want to.
When people go around telling you their bs opinions, like it's the only one that counts. Everyone elses way of raising kids is wrong. Theirs is right. Yet their kids will be the ones screwed up. Not mine.
Pet peeve? Other parents telling me how to raise my children..





Everyone has an onion about everything.
When people spoil they're children. They just buy things for them to shut them up, its horrible in the long run.
I really want to help ya but i don't know.
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