What are the the benefits and cons of of unmarried parenting?

I've been through both....and I prefer married parenting to unmarried parenting.





My pregnancy with my son was unplanned and I was unmarried. However, I was with my partner for one year at the time of our pregnancy. We were unmarried and because he decided to take off and not want the baby, I was left alone. Single and in graduate school. Talk about HARD times.





Then, I met my now-husband when my son was 13 months old. He is the most loving, wonderful and caring man...accepted my son without any hesitations from day one and is my son's father, period. (My ex NEVER stepped up to the plate...and my son is 6 years old) But, co-parenting is a true joy. Why would anyone not want to be married to the father of their children?? I wholeheartedly agree with married parenting.





Posters who say ';It's only a piece of paper'; obviously are not married and don't feel strongly about a commitment between the parents.





Boyfriend/girlfriend parenting doesn't fly. The boyfriend has no ties and why bother getting married?? He's already got the sex and family for free. What are the the benefits and cons of of unmarried parenting?
To me there is no difference. A piece of paper saying Im legally wed to my other half doesn't affect my parenting of my child. It doesn't affect school enrollment, doctors visits or having food on the table. I do acknowledge that it makes a big difference to how people feel about bringing a child into the world though, it just doesn't to me.What are the the benefits and cons of of unmarried parenting?
as far as the way the child is parented, I would say generally there is no difference. But it isn't sending a good message to the child about morality.
me and my BF are parents to a 15mos old girl. we have been together 3yrs. living together 2yrs. i dont feel that a piece of paper, and me changing my surname would make us better parents.
None what so ever, A child doesn't care if its parents are Married or single those parents are just as good as any in my view.

Have you found parenting to be educational?

The older my daughter gets, the more I see how much Dad %26amp; my older brother loved and protected me.





You see the world from a completely different perspective, when your child is venturing out into it, more and more independantly.Have you found parenting to be educational?
Oh my yes. And I can't believe how much my kids have taught me about myself, a lot of it things I'd rather not have known.But I've also learned creativity, the real meaning of love, and how the whole world is a different place when you have children in it.

How did/does parenting affect your daily life?

This can be in any way, shape, or form =]How did/does parenting affect your daily life?
It doesn't affect my life, It IS my life. Before kids, you can go wherever, do whatever you want. After kids, everything has to be planned. But it's well worth it.How did/does parenting affect your daily life?
That's a funny question. It simply changed everything.





My daily life after becoming a parent (stay-at-home mom, focused on kid-related things for the vast majority of the day) has virtually nothing in common with my life before having kids (attorney who used what little leisure time I had for things like reading books of the non Goodnight Moon variety and going for hikes that it will be years before I can attempt with my kids).





Oh yeah, and I used to take more than 5 minute showers, get more sleep, eat my own lunch without sharing it with whatever kid suddenly decided it looked delicious, and use the bathroom whenever I felt like it. (And I used to be nowhere near as happy).
It affects me sometimes when I have a long day and I don't want to go home and I want to keep riding but I know I have to go home and do my job as a parent. It affects me when I am having a long day and I don't want to do my job and I just want to relax. Overall being a parent is a blessing and lesson. It is amazing how smart kids are and how fast they grow up. My son and have a great relationship and he knows when I am having a good day and a bad day and on my bad days he doesn't bother me with clueless question or nag me about simple things, he just waits until my good day and wears me out.
There is a whole lot more meaning to my life with my daughter and now I'm more responsible, cautious and more patient than I used to be. I never knew how much I could love someone until I had her. I also used to be able to go to the bathroom, take a shower, paint my toenails, and eat without having someone else join me.
I'm alot more cautious about things now. I find myself constantly making sure that any furniture or food I buy is age appropriate for my son. Other than that me and my husband buy alot healthier food than we used to and we have more planned meals.


I also don't get as much private free time, but that doesn't bother me too much. I find myself looking forward to my son waking up in the morning or from his nap, just to see what he will say or do next. He makes life more rewarding.
I'm more of a planner than I used to. Which is good because it helped me become more efficient with my time and money. I had to plan out even as far as when I would take my own restroom breaks during a day of running errands because some places would be easier to take the baby with me than others. I plan more for the future. I understand who what I do/say now affects more than just me in the future.
It made me stronger and think of others instead of alway myself


I learned to make sacrifices so my son could have something he needed


I was always tired by the end of the night after working afternoon shift at the Hospital but tucking him and giving his sweet face a kiss goodnight erased all the stress


there were at times I wished I could have deep frozen him and thaw him out when I was ready


didnt work


he grew up anyway
It actually made it more unpredictable and I wasn't on my own schedule. I am less selfish now.


I have 3 kids under 5 years old they get sick, get hungry, have to go to the bathroom at the awkwardest times. Otherwise I love it, they are funny and love me more than anyone probably ever will.
It affects my daily life in every way, shape AND form! There isn't anything that being a mother doesn't affect, from the way I think, to my actions... everything is about her.
It doesn't it makes me a more organised person who appreciates every minute of the day... i wish there were more hours in the day though ..

Do you think people should be required to obtain a parenting license prior to having children?

I do because no precious child needs some pervert, abuser, or financially unstable person to be parenting them. If you think this is like the ';morality police';, guess what? Some idiots are so stupid and disgusting that they need to be policed morally. CHILD ABUSE IS MY BUSINESS, and should be everyone's business. If people can't take care of their children properly, they do not deserve to have them. That's my belief and I'm stickin to it.Do you think people should be required to obtain a parenting license prior to having children?
Yes, Yes, Yes, I have said this many times before.





I have to have a license to drive, to own a gun, to get married, yet people are just allowed to pop out as many as they want and when they harm them, they get a slap on the wristDo you think people should be required to obtain a parenting license prior to having children?
We license all sorts of behavior and things in this country. Licensing parents is something I advocated in college (many years ago). I still think it's a good idea.
i agree with you. i am also in the business of children, some with disabilities directly caused by the mother during pregnancy.





babies that are born with addictions to drugs or alcohol, the mothers should be arrested and charges pressed for child abuse. the perfect scenario would be to get to them before it happens. that would be all the better, and you have to start somewhere!
I agree, but that would mean birth control. We know who would not like that, don't we.
Man what a great question! Honestly...I do. Let's see some responsibility and test 'em on that as well as a myriad of other things like manner, respect for other people, their property and the law.


However...this now opens up the doors of Civil Liberties. The right to vote. The right to bear arms. The right to free speech and the right to be stupid, careless and irresponsible.


What would the penalties be for violaters? How would you enforce this? I love the idea but what are you going to do with the unborn child? Let Mom have it and ship it to a state run adoption factory? If so...it kinda smacks of Nazisim. I can see a large obstacle to overcome there. Ah...and then...there's the Church. The Big One. But I'm sure the Mormon's, the Hebrews, the Baptists and everyone else would have something to say as well.


No. Great idea if it could be pulled off Annie. But lets face it. It takes no college degree to get laid. Although I did get one under the impression that it would help me to...I was in error.





So we're stuck with hillbilles, trash and irresponsible people in general who mingle amongst us responsible and law abiding (except for that red light you squeeze through or stop sign you blow when no one's looking...in a marked car) citizens.





If you can work out some of the kinks let me know.





Good question though. Thought provoking with no simple answer. Hey! That's life isn't it?
No, it is against the Constitution and the Bill of Right.





Even in your Utopia, where a person gets a ';parenting liscence'; does that make he or she really anymore qualified to be a parent? Just because a person has learned certain skills for a test and pass it, does not mean that they really know, understand or can apply the materials they learn...it just means they have good rote memorization for a short-term test.





What would happen to the children that were born to parents without a ';Parenting License';? Where would they go? Who would care for them? Most likely, they would be institutionalized like kids in orphanages in Romania and Russia.





Bigger question who would love them? Kids that have been adopted from some foreign countries that lived in institutions since birth have no real attachments to any people and that creates sociopathic personalties (some kids have had to been un-adopted and turned over to the State when they proved to harmful to other children or the adults in the household).





I do agree that people should not have kids unless they want them and ready to take care of them both financially and emotionally and that there needs to be better education in schools that teach life skills and parenting skills...kids may never need algebra, but a vast majority will become parents or at least have to hold a job...they need those skills to make it in this world. I know this a hotbed of controversy with many parents as they see it as being the parent's job in teaching those skills, but the bottom line is many parents AREN'T and too busy and wrapped up in their own lives to be a good parent.
I can agree their are plenty out there that shouldn't have kids, but I DO NOT believe there should be any license. Financial unstability?? What would you do to all the kids that grew up during the depression? Take them away? Financial stability is not promised in this country, and not illegal. You think only the rich should have kids or something???


However, perversion and abuse are illegal and there are channels to report that.


Moral police? Who will decide what is and isn't moral? You? Not in my country sister, it's the adults in this house that decide what is right or wrong, you will never. That's a promise.


I fully agree that an abused, or child in danger, needs to be removed from that situation immediately.


But I'll be damned if I'll let you or anyone else regulate or dictate exactly how I should raise my children.





BTW - How many licensed drivers are bad drivers? You think a parent license would be any different?
This would be great if there was some way to make it law but there isn't. But the crimes people commit on their children is horrible and something does need to be done.
I think it would be freaking awesome, but then....You know, big brother has no business.
would be nice, but if it worked out anything like licensing at the DMV..... lost cause
No felonies, good jobs, two parent home, no sex crimes, a clean house or nice apartment.
Not possible. The courts have ruled repeatedly that laws restricting ';reproductive rights'; are unconstitutional.
True that some people do not deserve to have children but there is nothing that can be done in preventing it, if they want to have sex we can't stop them, and sex results in pregnancy. it is a natural thing, that should not be messed with
You could push for such a law. Of course you'd have to toss out the US Constitution first.
what do you propose we do with the children of those unlicensed folks who have sex?
Ok. I hope you have kids yourself. You know what? maybe some people do not deserve to have children but people I grew up with that were some of the laziest people thet did bad in school and I never thought would be good parents have turned out to be some of the best. Having kids in most cases changes the way people think. And until you actually have kids you could not understand it. People want to do better and give their kids everything in the world. So a license no but I think that maybe in high school there should be some required classes besides health class to help you realize what having a baby means to you. And are there studies that show people who take parenting classes do much better than anyone else??

How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?

So, I am taking child development and school and we are learning all about that. Part comes from the enviorment(everything surrounding them, including the size and emotions) and the people around them. From the moment they are born there brains need to be stimulated, so the neurons can connect. This is done, by reading to them, talking to them, just very simple things like, but sitting there and having them watching blue's clues is not the same, because that is not one on one. it has to be one on one. Then there is the enviorment. the child needs to have space to explore and move around; if s/he is isolated, then that will also have a huge impact on there development. child development is most importent in the first 5 years of life. they will develop in 5 ways: emotionally, socially, morally, intellectally, and physicallly. Role playing (like playing school or house) allows them to groww emotionally and is really good for them, believe it or not. Around age for the social development becomes very important. around this age they should start playing with other children, not just around them. they should be learning the concepts of sharing and taking turns, and things of that nature. Moral development come mostly from the people around them. they learn from example and from you telling them no and why it is wrong, and then when they do it right(for instance, if your at a store and he puts something in his pocket, you simply say, no that's not ours, if you want you have to pay for, you can't just take. then later in the store, if he asks you to buy something, this shows that is starting to understand and he should be praised in some form) praise them. Physically. From when they are newborns to when they are 5, they will constanly be developing physically. when they are young, they should always sleep on their back, but when they are awake, you should keep them on their stomaches, so that they can learn to hold their head up and stregthen other muscles in their bodies. As they get other crawling and doing things with their finger, such as drawing or finger paints, will develop their motor skills. Finally, intellectally. this is probably the most important. these skills are very simple, and will help prepare them for there futures. they gain these skills from puzzles, book, games, block, very simple little things that allow them to imagine and create. development is diffferent for all child, but it follows a general path and is sequecel. they will crawl, before they walk, say words before sentaces, and so on. Development is all about stimulating the brain and allowing it to grow, so let them be dirty, let them be creative, they will thank you one day.How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
well, if a parent does not disipline a child well, then it's most likely that that child would grow up to be more rebelious.How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nn5jlrxcpkI this is how

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How does your background and up bringing effect your parenting?

I was raised by a woman who has a masters in education, specifically in child development and Ruiker's (Adlerian) philosophy which is natural consequences, she also taught parenting and worked with parents who needed to learn proper parenting techniques as mandated by the court system. She was the only one successful in our state with her program, and it was wildly successful in keeping parents with their kids, which means parents learned from her.





So, I pretty much have an expert on call and I have what I learned from her. She wasn't perfect when she was raising us, no one is, but I think her children are improving on her work. It has been terribly helpful for me, especially since we weren't around little babies or kids that much growing up since the cousins were 1,000 miles away and no nieces or nephews either. While I am a biochemist and my husband is a web developer, we benefit from expert learning that I can see not that many folks have. That doesn't mean we don't make our mistakes, there is a huge learning curve in parenting, but I think it's easier for us then most.How does your background and up bringing effect your parenting?
My parents were very different from each other (everything including parenting) so I try and stay on the same page with my husband. I was a mellow kid and really never got in trouble and my mom was anti-spanking so I went into motherhood not ever expecting to spank. When my oldest entered his late 2's and 3's, that idea got chucked out the window. I do try and expose them to a lot of different ideas, beliefs and cultures as my parents did and it was a good thing.How does your background and up bringing effect your parenting?
My parents never expected much of me and never encouraged me to focus on anything. They wanted me to get good grades, but that was it. So, I ended up with a worthless liberal arts degree. They were financially secure and always told me that I could get any job I wanted (I was ';set';) but ended up not talking to me anymore 4 years ago when they could no longer control me. Quite simply, all they wanted me to do was go to church, sit on the porch with them and gossip about the neighbors, and go out to eat. That's all the ever did and still do (to my knowledge).





I never learned how to cook or do a lot of run of the mill things. I was babied. So, from a young age, I've had my daughter learn how to take care of her own needs and figure things out for herself. I patiently teach her and encourage her, but it's her responsibility to take care of and remember her own things. She also has to do one physical activity and take a musical instrument.
I think that I am blessed to have had many different circumstances in my life, and because I am multifaceted (coined by chickenfarmer!), I am able to parent pretty open-mindedly.


Have been poor, have had wealth.


Have been happily married, and have been a single mom.


have studied many cultures and religions, am knowledgeable and accepting about them, teach my children to do the same.
My kids were raised with the same values and morals I was but parented in a very different style, probably because of the times just being different. So I believe the basic core of the person you were raised to be is passed onto your children as it's really all you know.
Single parent household: I do my best to be exactly opposite of how my mother raised us. I try to be fair and take the time to listen while being firm and consistent. I almost never raise my voice and never make threats or call my kids names.
I think your experiences play a huge role in your parenting style. I try not to do the things my parents did as far as how I treat my kids. I try to incorporate the culture and the experiences they she shared.

Just curious wondering and i want to know your parenting styles thanxxx?

1. what are the diffrent punishments you give when your children do something bad





2.what would you do if your child sneackes out of the house when she is already punished





3.did your child ever got an harsh punishment tell the routines him/her had to do and say how long





5. sate something your child has done wrong and explain what you did from then on.Just curious wondering and i want to know your parenting styles thanxxx?
Hi, thought you might like to check out http://www.the-parenting-magazine.com.





This website covers a wide range of parenting topics including child behavioral issues, child education, child safety, childcare, child development, pregnancy and even gifts and recipes for kids.





Hope you find the site helpful :)Just curious wondering and i want to know your parenting styles thanxxx?
1. Spanking, take away possessions or privileges, write an essay, grounded.


2. Probably a spanking followed by being grounded but it depends on the circumstances.


3. No.


4.


When my daughter lied about how much time she had put in practicing the piano I became much more careful about monitoring her practice time.
2 words beat them





beat them with anything chairs belts bits of wood smaller children anything

Can my ex-wife give her parenting time to her parents if she does not want the child without my permission?

Most of the time my ex is supposed to be spending with our daughter, she leaves her with the grandparents. This next trip her grandparents are not even taking her to see her mother. The divorce papers list the time as parenting time for the mother, not grandparents- do I have to let them take her?Can my ex-wife give her parenting time to her parents if she does not want the child without my permission?
The way I see it, she can do whatever she wants with the child during her parenting time. Just be grateful it's with the grandparents and not some boyfriend or other babysitter. Is she working while the grandparents have her? Or just out doing whatever. We are in the same situation, the mother is never around, but out of kindness to all involved, we let Nana and Papa have him on her weekends. (she doesn't work either and may be into drugs)


Now if you're child were being harmed, I would definitely refuse visitation. I would go back to court and file a full custody petition. We haven't done that tho, as the person who would be most affected is my 5 year old step son.


PS: We haven't seen a lick of child support in the last 4 years, and that also was court ordered. We could take her back to court for that too, but again, why would we want our son to have to see his mommy in jail.Can my ex-wife give her parenting time to her parents if she does not want the child without my permission?
That depends on how it is spelled out in your papers. I would call your lawyer and ask if you have to let her go. If the grandparents are the ones that are suppose to pick her up, then take her to her mothers, you don't know for sure if they are taking her or not. That is a fine line. If the grandparents are good to her, what harm does it make for them to have her. She needs to know that side of the family also, and if she loves them why take them away from her.
Your ex can leave the kids with her parents during her time if she wants to. there is something that you can do though. Take her back to court so you can get Right of First Refusal. If you have ROFR, you will get your daughter back if Mom is not going to be with her during Moms parenting time.
For your daughter, I'd file for custody. Yes your daughter needs to see the grandparents, BUT... it's best for a child to be with her parent as much as possible especially in this type of situation.

What are some tips to be successful in completing degree online? How do I balance school, work and parenting?

One of the pros and cons of an online degree is working around your own schedule, at your own home. While convenient, it's easy to put off the work you need to do.





In order to prevent procrastinating, be sure to set at least 1 hour every morning and evening to do some work. Also, create an area that's conducive to studying. You won't be able to focus with the TV blaring or the children crying. Be sure to also implement rules; when you are studying, your children know you are studying and need to focus on your work. Prepare activities for them ahead of time in order to keep them entertained. What are some tips to be successful in completing degree online? How do I balance school, work and parenting?
Online degrees are flexible. You are allowed to attend classes any time from any where. This option gives you flexibility to decide your own convenient time to attend class. But what you need to do you have to decide a fix time for your studies. This will help you to maintain balance between your work, studies and social responsibilities. To give u brief idea about online degree programs and its over all format here I am forwarding you the website link the link is What are some tips to be successful in completing degree online? How do I balance school, work and parenting?
Decide on a daily time allotment for classes such as from 10a to 12 noon and then 6p to 8p and stick with it no matter what comes up.
Check out http://www.onlineedublog.com/managing-yo鈥?/a>

Does attachment parenting create kids with mommy issues?

Do you think that parents who use attachment parenting are wrong, crazy, making a big mistake with their children, probably going to kill their children while cosleeping and creating children that will never be able to be independent?Does attachment parenting create kids with mommy issues?
Nah, judging other people is for losers.





Mine don't get attached because I keep them in dog crates and only let them out when it's their turn to get beaten.





Haha OMG I was kidding.Does attachment parenting create kids with mommy issues?
No attachment parenting is fine and natural but there is nothing wrong if you don't do that either. As long as you care for your children.
Why ask a question and then tell people what they think is wrong BEFORE they actually answer.
This is so stupid...why are you even asking this question? Are you an attachment parent who feels guilty about what you are doing??
I have to go the bathroom.
What's up with this question? It sounds like it's something you do,that you're beginning to feel guilty for.
Awww conscience getting to you?

Do You Know How To Mind Your Own Parenting Business?

Or do conflict others with your constant opinions, implying it is the only way to Parent? Because you feel you are the only person who is able to raise a Child properly.Do You Know How To Mind Your Own Parenting Business?
I definitely know how to mind my own *parenting technique* business.


In 10 years I have only had concerns about a handful of people it had nothing to do with how they parent, per se. More about other things (one child was missing 2 to 3 days per week of school and possibly being left home alone at night while her mom worked. She was 6).


That one really worried me and I had to speak to someone.


Otherwise- your kid, not mine! is how I look at it.Do You Know How To Mind Your Own Parenting Business?
I mind my business. I'm not presumptuous to believe i know all and see all. the only parents im truly guilty of judging is my aunt and uncle. i feel so badly for there children. i want to take them home with me and make them better but i can't. i do know their story. i wish i didn't but thats how my family is. its not even a debate on how their parenting techniques either. that i think is silly - who cares as long as the kid is being taken care of right? ibut its not that simple.


i wish i could say i don't judge everyone but i am guilty of for them. everyone else - not my kid and i don't know the whole story so how can i even begin to say i know best. besides i've only been an actual parent for a few years. my only real expertise is my opinions. i've got a lot of those but you know what they say about opinions - they are like butt holes, every one has one....
I have many friends with many variations to how they raise their kids. I may have my own ideas about things, but I am not about to tell them how I think they should do it. I don't think there is only one way to properly raise a child. We all do the best we can and emphasize the things we think are important.
In the real world, I mind my own. On the internet, I will share my opinion if I feel like it. But that's what a parenting forum is for, right? To share thoughts, ideas, advice and encouragement, as well as opinions. As long as people are not rude, arrogant, or degrading, I don't mind hearing opinions against my own. But like I said, in real life (outside of my computer screen) I mind my own.
Knowing how much it pisses me off when people pass judgement on my parenting style I try to refrain from judging others - unless they ask me for advice then I will happily explain what works (or doesn't) for me.





At the end of the day we're all muddling through doing what works best for us as individuals so although I might have certain ideas, for example, that breastfeeding is the best option for your baby, I accept that it might not always be the best option for the mother. What's the point in me judging someone for using formula? It has nothing to do with me and if the mother is happy with her choice that's all that matters isn't it?





I had a little difficulty saying nothing during an extended holiday with the MIL recently...honestly - what gives people the idea that you really want a constant stream of advice and criticism on how to raise your child!
i don't judge on others forms of parenting although i have been judged on mine. I can't stand it when some one thinks their way is right and everyone else's is wrong. People need to realize that no one does things the same . The only one who should have a say in the way you parent your kids is you! The only way any one should ever interfere is when the child is being abused!
I dont really judge other parents, but with MY OWN kids things have to be done my way if someone else (eg my mother) is looking after them and if they wont do it MY WAY then they dont look after them.





Sometimes i cant help but look at the way others do things and think how god dam wrong it is but i wont say anything unless they ask and it doesnt happen that often.
I mind my own. All the conflict is simply ridiculous so I stay out of it. I know what I'm doing for my child is best and not liking what others do isn't going to do anything so why bother right? lol it's really silly. I just keep my opinions to myself and ask questions that I need help on =)
I do believe that I know how to mind my own business. However, I do have a couple of family members who think their children are the greatest things ever put on this planet, and think everyone else can do nothing right in their eyes.





That annoys me to no end.
I only give my opinion when asked~


And even then, I know that 99 percent of the time, people will do what they want to anyway.


My parenting style works for us, but I would never ever force it on others, because I cannot stand when others force theirs on me.
All answers to these sensitive issues are necessary for us to know and you can find most of then answered in this site that I happened to go through for another query of mine...hope it helps you.
I think I am the only one who knows how to raise MY children properly (and hubby is O.K at it too, lol.) However, what works for my kids most likely may not work for other peoples children, so who am I to judge anyone?
I'm still relatively new to being a parent, so I know that my ways aren't always golden. I do feel that I'm the only person who can raise MY child properly. She's my child after all.
oh i always think i can do it better than others but i know thats not always true





Help me with my question





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
I like advice and I think (hope) I only give it when asked for. I have enough of my own problems to know not to shout my mouth off all the time.
No, I'm not a very confrontational person, I give my opinions and really nothing more. Not my job to change people or try to.
I mind my own business for the most part....on here I can sometimes get a little opinionated in some areas (immunizations) but I never imply my way is the only way ot that I am better than anyone else.
OUCH! i hope i dont fall into that, i think noones perfect and hate to see so many others judged just coz its not the way someone else does things,

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Do you feel that you learned more from parenting books or more from trial and error? Or both?

Personally, I was a clueless first time mother who learned most of my parenting from the many books I read. I then applied that information into our daily lives. When something did not work, I tried something else. I found the information learned from ';the experts'; most benificial to me and my children. I could never had been as creative without the information learned.Do you feel that you learned more from parenting books or more from trial and error? Or both?
I'm more of a trial and error type person. I did believe all the parenting books when I was pregnant with my first and then found that they were not as useful as I once believed once my daughter was born (especially once she was a toddler!). I don't find that the ';experts'; are the most beneficial for my family as their views are highly biased and are most all theoretical. I go by what is effective for my children and my family, as should all families do. Books are good resources at times, but not always the best solution for parenting your child(ren).





I tend to gather my information from other parents who have been in my shoes and sometimes the advice is good, sometimes it's not. I give it some thought and if it works with our family I apply it. I go with my intuition and mother's instinct and 99.9% of the time I am right on with it.





Interesting question though :) I'll give you a star!Do you feel that you learned more from parenting books or more from trial and error? Or both?
Parenting books are a guideline. If your parents raised you well, you very likely won't even bother reading those parenting books unless you have a situation that they never dealt with (such as a disabled child or a child with depression). If your parents did not have a great home life for you, it's a good idea to read parenting books to break the cycle and learn different ways to handle things. However, there are plenty of pop psychologists out there that may have bona fide degrees but have never raised children. Dr. Spock was one of them (his child was raised by his wife). The methods of others could be considered child abuse (Ferber Method). Some things might be great, but don't feel obligated to apply everything if it doesn't work for your family (for instance Attachment Parenting).





I've learned a variety of parenting methods in my own extended family as we have sort of an international crew (6 different countries). Some I would apply, some wouldn't work.
I'm a big reader and love to be prepared so I have read many parenting books. However, what I have learned is that my style of parenting isn't necessarily by the book. So, I read the books, get ideas and learn about different perspectives. I apply what I know not by memorizing a book but by the way I take the information and use it according to my style. No child fits any one way and no one is necessarily wrong - just different. I have found that knowing more than one perspective helps me be more tolerant of other parenting styles.... even those I do not agree with.





BTW, my favorite all time parenting book is How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Your Kids Will Talk. Excellent people skills book!
In almost every parenting dilemma I have faced so far, it was the answers that I found in books that actually worked. While it's true that nothing works for everyone, children are actually more alike than they are different. And not every expert advocates the same thing. I have found, though, that the experts who are also parents give the best advice.
I would never raise my children based on what someone else suggests and / or writes.





Children are not ';universal';. What works for one doesn't always work for the next.





Also, we don't produce ';cookie cutter'; children as all the ';experts'; and their books suggest.





If you MUST read a book about parenting, I suggest the Bible. Nothing else will teach you more about the love of a parent than it.





Love your child, teach them right from wrong, teach them about respect, safety, compassion and morals ... everything else comes naturally from God's gift of maternal instict.
My wife and I have a 7-month-old and we consulted a number of different books for advice. I think they were all great for the pregnancy information, but not so much when the baby actually came. You bring up a good point though about the books generating more creativity.





For me and my wife, trial and error combined with gut instinct have worked the best.
I would say both! Each child is different, and the books vary tremendously from each other as well. I did a lot of reading, and tried the suggestions that made sense to me. Sometimes, I consolidated the ideas I got from TWO books. This was very helpful in regard to things like weaning off the bottle, and potty training.
I enjoy different parenting books, and don't have anything against them. All that being said, parenting books are like ';operation manuals'; the only problem is - nobody knows the proper model number. Every child is different, so when it comes to ';parenting'; you must choose your own path.
I think both. i was a clueless first time mother as well. Books definately helped. And trial and error through the techniques taught in them. As the kids have gotten older I have slowly been steering away from books. There are simply too many ';experts'; writing books that contradict each other now days.
I read the books but didnt believe a lot of what I read til I saw it myself . I think a mixture of the books and real life experience was what taught me. I think next time will be a lot easier as I know a lot of what to expect. The first time was a bit scary!
Trial and error. At one point I wanted to throw the books out the window. For me they were good for reference and that is about it. I was pretty clueless too, and they did NOT help.
I think I learned more from trial and error. I found several parenting books to be useful but not always effective since each child is different.
I use the books, then use the trail and error technique. The books help, but are not always the case.
trial and error.
both

How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?

So, I am taking child development and school and we are learning all about that. Part comes from the enviorment(everything surrounding them, including the size and emotions) and the people around them. From the moment they are born there brains need to be stimulated, so the neurons can connect. This is done, by reading to them, talking to them, just very simple things like, but sitting there and having them watching blue's clues is not the same, because that is not one on one. it has to be one on one. Then there is the enviorment. the child needs to have space to explore and move around; if s/he is isolated, then that will also have a huge impact on there development. child development is most importent in the first 5 years of life. they will develop in 5 ways: emotionally, socially, morally, intellectally, and physicallly. Role playing (like playing school or house) allows them to groww emotionally and is really good for them, believe it or not. Around age for the social development becomes very important. around this age they should start playing with other children, not just around them. they should be learning the concepts of sharing and taking turns, and things of that nature. Moral development come mostly from the people around them. they learn from example and from you telling them no and why it is wrong, and then when they do it right(for instance, if your at a store and he puts something in his pocket, you simply say, no that's not ours, if you want you have to pay for, you can't just take. then later in the store, if he asks you to buy something, this shows that is starting to understand and he should be praised in some form) praise them. Physically. From when they are newborns to when they are 5, they will constanly be developing physically. when they are young, they should always sleep on their back, but when they are awake, you should keep them on their stomaches, so that they can learn to hold their head up and stregthen other muscles in their bodies. As they get other crawling and doing things with their finger, such as drawing or finger paints, will develop their motor skills. Finally, intellectally. this is probably the most important. these skills are very simple, and will help prepare them for there futures. they gain these skills from puzzles, book, games, block, very simple little things that allow them to imagine and create. development is diffferent for all child, but it follows a general path and is sequecel. they will crawl, before they walk, say words before sentaces, and so on. Development is all about stimulating the brain and allowing it to grow, so let them be dirty, let them be creative, they will thank you one day.How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
Tonight my son showed me videos on You Tube of ';Scared Kids';. It's heartbreaking child abuse! Parents trick their small children into watching a cute little something on the computer knowing a horrendous monster is about to scare the life out of them. These children are learning early in life that the keepers of your soul will betray you.


You bet it's affecting their development and scarring them for life and we wonder why there's mass murderers in the schools. Go figure....................How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
That's sad ( the first post).


I don't really know that parenting style can affect development except in extreme cases of abuse or neglect. And same with culture- there are extremes but for the most part people develop in the same way around the world and we all seem to be the same on the 'outside'. Parenting and culture can more so affect the 'inside'.
Hi,I too wanted to ask similar question.Thank you.
nurture verses nature wins out over nature over nurture

When raising kids do any parents read parenting books?

I know there are a lot of parenting books out there, child psychology books, baby and me, etc. I know there are psychological theories about the stages that a child goes through when growing up, and I am a firm believer of it. Do any parents agree? And the ones that do, do you find the books helpful? And the ones that don't, why? I talked to my mom, and she told me that she never read any of those books, and well I turned out just fine! I'm going to medical school and going to be a doctor soon.When raising kids do any parents read parenting books?
I loved the what to expect series...What to Expect the First Year, and What to Expect the Toddler Years. They were really informative. I liked that they broke down child development month by month, so you really did know what to expect and what was the norm.





Also, I found the Happiest baby on the Block book helpful (taught me how to swaddle and soothe my newborn), and a book I read on infant sleep that I can't remember the name of (Healthy Sleep Habit...maybe?)





Of course no one book is going to TELL you how to parent your child, but I think people that don't read at all are really doing themselves a disservice. I am an avid reader to begin with, so I enjoy reading other case studies and having solid information to help me figure out what works and what doesn't and why.





ETA:


You HAVE to take what you read and decipher what makes the most sense, not believe everything you read blindly. I think that is a no-brainer!!!





What books are TEX and Mrs Hererra reading??? I never read one that said to coddle a tantrum. There are a lot of good books out there that are NOT crap.When raising kids do any parents read parenting books?
The only books I have read were the ';What to Expect'; books. I read the pregnancy one religiously while I was pregnant to make sure everything I was going through was normal. I have the one for the first year as well, but have only flipped through it to look up certain things on occasion or to look at upcoming milestones. I think you can learn more about the best way to be a parent by observing your children and their specific needs. Parenting is trial and error.
With my first I had a few people buy me books because I like to read and they thought I would enjoy them. I read some and thought they were the most ridiculous things. When I read a book that says coddle your children when they're throwing a tantrum or 4-5 is ok to still not be potty trained. I have to throw that book out and be a real parent who wants a responsible child. The only book I ever found helpful was Dr. James Dobson's The Strong Willed Child. Otherwise I think they are full of crap and offer horrible parenting advice. I can always tell by the kids who's parents read and follow the books, because their children and ill behaved, immature and very dependent on their parents. I would rather be a real parent than a psycho babble parent.
Lol, I was too busy reading nursery rhymes and stories to my children to read parenting books. Finally, when the kids were older, I took a child psychology course (my major was psychology) and discovered many of the theories were bunk. I am sure you COULD find some good suggestions in them but I hope nobody sets their parenting style strictly by what is in them, considering many are not written by professionals and many more are written by professionals who didn't have children at the time they were written.
Quite honestly I don't read them at all. There is no ';one size fits all'; for kids and children are NOT going to fit the mold of what some book says ever. There are some helpful ones out there that will give you an idea of physical milestones for baby and pregnancy that have valid information in them, but even those you don't need every single one on the shelf. The only two I would ever recommend are:





What to Expect in the First Five Years by the American Academy of Pediatrics





What to Expect While Your Expecting series





These were good to find out what was normal around certain ages and what was upcoming. The AAP book was especially helpful in the edition I have because it had a basic explanation and breakdown for common childhood illnesses and conditions and what to do if your child comes down with them. It explained everything simply and concise.
Some of them are great. Especially positive parenting ones. Secrets to happy children is a good one. Steve Biddulph. My other books are packed because we moved house.





Some people say they are fine - depends on what method the parents used, and what definition of fine is. someone may be successful career person but totally stuffed in the area of people skills and social situations.





A lot of adults don't trust people and have trouble building good lasting and valuable relationships because of the fear based methods of parenting used upon them.





Thats just what I have observed
I've read many of them, but I take it with a grain of salt. If there's something I don't agree with, then I won't read that particular section. But if it's something I find to be interesting or a good idea then I use the advice.
Those books are just like this place, Take what you like and leave the rest behind. You can get some decent ideas from them but anyone who leans on any one of them to much will be headed for trouble.
I've read a ton of parenting books, I also took child development classes while I was pregnant with my first son. I still mess up a lot.
nope never read any


i have a 20mth old and a 5mth old
Child psychology books and parenting books don't hold a candle to experiencing the real thing. Most of these ';experts'; are over glorified and just have a bunch of fancy titles. Degrees and book knowledge does not automatically make one smart or educated. When I need guidance in my parenting, I ask other moms who have been through the same thing and I pray.





The only time I might find a parenting book helpful is if I need one to base the developmental milestones on. But even then, they are inconsistent with each other and all kids develop at their own pace. I'm not a firm believer in child psychology books. I'm a firm believer in seeking the advice of moms who are older and wiser if I'm stumped.





Many of today's parenting books and child psychology suggest things like telling your child no is detrimental to their mental health and that punishments are never necessary. They teach that in order to ';discipline'; a 10 year old having a tantrum we should coddle them and teach them to use big girl words... I don't buy into it. Not for a minute.





I have read some Christian based parenting books such as ';A Mother's Heart'; by Jean Fleming and ';Grace Based Parenting';. Both of those comply with my beliefs and offer real, authentic, good parenting pointers.

Are boarding schools a cop out for direct parenting?

One hears the almost universal statement that the children are the dearest possession of the parents, yet some, garage them into boarding schools away from their family environment whilst being fed and watered by strangers.





Why have a family pet if it's to be placed into a ';quarantine'; environment not to be enjoyed on a continious and daily basis?





The absence of the close family interaction must create a detatched persona that lurks throughout ones life.Are boarding schools a cop out for direct parenting?
I agree I don't want a stanger taking care of my kids 24/7 for days and months at a time with out seeing them. I think they should be at home with their parents who are going to love them and take care of them like they should be.Are boarding schools a cop out for direct parenting?
I had a friend who was in a boarding school from the age of 14 on. She won't admit that she has issues from it but I can tell by some of the things she says. And I don't understand why a parent would send their kids away at all. I had kids because I wanted them, I want them at the age of 14 just as much as I wanted them at the age of 2. Are these parents just tired of being parents? It makes no sense to me.
who knows why people have kids just to give them away- they are selfish and lazy- my son is almsot 11 mo. old and i have never been morme than 4-5 hours away from him, i work so i have to be a little
For me I'd never want to go to boarding school but my son loves the idea and cant wait till he is old enough. He wants to go for high school.
Different people have different opinions. I was in boarding school for 5 years and loved it and so has the rest of my siblings, Parents are NOT trying to get rid of there children in anyway. Boarding school is a great experience in life that not many can experience because of the amount of money that goes towards boarding school. I want to send my children to boarding school when they get a bit older.
My daughter WANTS to go to boarding school in high school. Right now we are homeschooling our kids.





If, when she gets to highschool age, she still wants to go to a boarding school, we will consider it. I'd never send my kids when they are younger or if they didn't want to go. She came up with this idea on her own and who knows if in 4 years she'll still want to.
I've wondered about that. It does seem to me that boarding school would not be healthy for a child nor would it encourage close relationships within the family. That's not to say I haven't had the occasional pleasant daydream concerning my teenage son and military school!








But on the other hand, countries other than the US, use boarding schools quite often. Maybe it is a US cultural hangup and our kids would do fine. Or maybe US culture is different enough from European that it would completely backfire.
I also agree parents should raise their children why have them if they dont want to spend the time to raise them just think of all the treasured moments missed of their children and all the memories lost I have three children that my husband and I both raised and alot of memories that I will ALWAYS treasure!
Boarding schools and multiple live-in nannies are rich people's way of raising children.





There's also a rich people's disease called ';exhaustion'; and sometimes they get hospitalized with this affliction. Working class families have to work to pay bills so if they're exhausted then they just keep working. They just learn to live with feeling exhausted.
I've also wondered why people would ship their children off to boarding schools. In some societies, it seems to be normal. English princes William and Harry were sent to boarding schools against Diana's wishes. I just don't understand that. What's the point of having children if you aren't going to raise them yourself?
I LOVED boarding school!!!





I don't really understand boarding school for children (pre-adolecence) unless there is some type of family situation that requires it. However, while it probably isn't a universal cure-all I think boarding school for adolecents can be very beneficial.





When children become teens they want to stretch their wings. They are almost raised at that point in time, and even parents who raise their teens at home have to find a delicate balance between control and independence. Boarding school is a time tested tradition that allows teens to discover who they are with peers their own age without mom and dad constantly looking over their shoulder. Boarding school can often provide a child more independence and responsibility than living at home while still giving them a safe environment. Plus, many boarding schools are academically excellent and have traditions that can help create anchors for a teens journey into life.





I personally went to a very unique and relatively young boarding school that was designed for academically accelerated students. After being the oldest child my whole life and living in a small town, boarding school was a release. I was finally around friends who I connected with on a deeper level, and I was freed from the responsibilities of having younger children constantly watching my every move. On the whole, however, it made me a more devoted sister as an adult.





I'm sure boarding school is not for everyone, and isn't right in every situation - but please don't knock it in general. It can be a valid and acceptable parenting decision. Just because you decide to let your child stretch his/her wings doesn't mean you don't love them and don't care about them. It just means you realize he/she is growing up. In this age of telephones and e-mail it's not like you are cutting ties with your child - you're just choosing a different family dynamic. If your child is ready for the step, it can be just the thing to transition him/her from life at home to life in the world and shouldn't be considered neglectful or abusive.

How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?

So, I am taking child development and school and we are learning all about that. Part comes from the enviorment(everything surrounding them, including the size and emotions) and the people around them. From the moment they are born there brains need to be stimulated, so the neurons can connect. This is done, by reading to them, talking to them, just very simple things like, but sitting there and having them watching blue's clues is not the same, because that is not one on one. it has to be one on one. Then there is the enviorment. the child needs to have space to explore and move around; if s/he is isolated, then that will also have a huge impact on there development. child development is most importent in the first 5 years of life. they will develop in 5 ways: emotionally, socially, morally, intellectally, and physicallly. Role playing (like playing school or house) allows them to groww emotionally and is really good for them, believe it or not. Around age for the social development becomes very important. around this age they should start playing with other children, not just around them. they should be learning the concepts of sharing and taking turns, and things of that nature. Moral development come mostly from the people around them. they learn from example and from you telling them no and why it is wrong, and then when they do it right(for instance, if your at a store and he puts something in his pocket, you simply say, no that's not ours, if you want you have to pay for, you can't just take. then later in the store, if he asks you to buy something, this shows that is starting to understand and he should be praised in some form) praise them. Physically. From when they are newborns to when they are 5, they will constanly be developing physically. when they are young, they should always sleep on their back, but when they are awake, you should keep them on their stomaches, so that they can learn to hold their head up and stregthen other muscles in their bodies. As they get other crawling and doing things with their finger, such as drawing or finger paints, will develop their motor skills. Finally, intellectally. this is probably the most important. these skills are very simple, and will help prepare them for there futures. they gain these skills from puzzles, book, games, block, very simple little things that allow them to imagine and create. development is diffferent for all child, but it follows a general path and is sequecel. they will crawl, before they walk, say words before sentaces, and so on. Development is all about stimulating the brain and allowing it to grow, so let them be dirty, let them be creative, they will thank you one day.How parenting style and culture can affect a child's development?
parenting style and culture completely affect a kid, its what makes the kid. parents teach what is right and wrong so u if u teach the kid something different that what he will believe to think is right

How to get husband to ';plug in'; to parenting?

For example, my husband has never fed a bottle to either of our children or stayed up with them when they were sick. I really haven't slept in 3 years.He works a stressful job and sees my job as a stay-at-home mom to do the bulk of the parenting. My problem is that I don't EVER get a break. I don't even get 1 hour a week to myself.


The obvious answer is to ask him to pick up the slack when I want to go do something %26amp; in turn let him get out too. He says he is too uncomfortable and won't know what to do while I'm gone. At the same time he doesn't want to learn how to fix a bottle, etc. He says he has never been comfortable around babies but he feels sure he will be more comfortable with them when they are older. In the meantime I'm so tired I collapse in bed each night with no quality of life. Babysitters are not an option I'm comfortable with. I do have some family who could sit with them and let me get out but it makes me resent him for not being willing to try to parent.How to get husband to ';plug in'; to parenting?
I am a dad. My wife has been a stay at home mom for our 9 yr. old daughter's entire life. I have also done a lot of the parenting- every evening and on weekends. My wife usually takes off in the evening.





I'm sorry you never get a break. It sounds like you really need one.





First of all, you need to take care of yourself- 3 years sleep-deprived is not good for you or your children or husband. It just makes you cranky. So, get some sleep, eat healthy food and exercise. It's the oxygen mask approach to parenting. Putting your mask on first on the airplane then allows you to assist others. You can only take care of others if you take care of yourself.





Second, use family to babysit. Many men are uncomfortable around babies and don't know what to do and feel that they might do something wrong and hurt them. Many women also make men feel that way by either taking over, criticizing the man, or acting as if he is stupid. If you criticize his parenting or just take over, then he won't want to take care of the children.





I always preferred taking care of our daughter when my wife wasn't around. It felt like a relief not to have her hovering and checking up on us.





Also, learn to become comfortable with a babysitter. Are you saying that there is absolutely no one who could do a reasonable job taking care of your children? No wonder you are so burnt-out. Find someone good to watch the kids and go out with your husband. He is probably missing the good times you two had as a couple pre-kids. He might even be jealous of the children since they get all of your attention and you are not as affectionate to him as you used to be.





You say your husband works a stressful job. He is probably looking for some relaxation when he gets home. Instead, he gets greeted by a stressed-out mom and 2 screaming kids. This is when some husbands start stopping at a bar before coming home so they can relax because they know that home is too stressful and they never have the chance to relax. Be glad he isn't coming home drunk.





I know you don't want to hear this, but instead of blaming your husband, you need to: 1. take care of your own health. 2. encourage your husband. 3. get a sitter a couple of nights/week.





Best wishes to you and your family.How to get husband to ';plug in'; to parenting?
Wow, the fact that he is ';uncomfortable'; around babies would've been nice to know before you had some with him, huh?





I think you ought to have a serious discussion with him about this. If he really is totally unwilling to make any effort, and you are resenting him for it, I would suggest you get some marriage counseling to resolve the situation.





Parenting two small children is not a job for one person! Don't let him make you do it alone.
Honey, you can't let your husband keep on with this.





If he has a stressful job, and you stay at home, yes, I think he an expect you to do most of the child-watching (note I didn't say ';child raising'; or ';babysitting';-- it used to drive me nuts when my husband told me he'd ';babysit'; our son if I needed to go out without him!!!)... but you're missing out on a vital part of your life, and so is he!!





My husband was head injured and although he loves children he felt very insecure with our son until he was old enoguh to walk and talk on his own and thus make his own demands and needs clear. Because of our situation I had to go back to work when my son was 7 months old, and my husband was a nervous wreck about it. Our answer was to have a person at the house when I wasn't there, to do the main ';parenting'; but to make sure my hub was always around, absorbing, and being able to take a chance on changing a diaper or feeding him when he wanted to without worrying about what would happen if he ';got it wrong';.





Your husband, by being allowed to stay at arm's length, is missing out on such a wonderfu bonding time with his children. Try spending time with him actually parenting-- involve him ';incidentally'; (';Oh-- I forgot the towel. Dear, would you hold little Sally for a minute? I have to run into the nursery. Won't be a jif!';). Don't leave him on his own. Give him a MADE bottle, so he gets comfortable feeding. Leave prepared bottles with written instructions on them when you finally get to the stage that he's on his own.





You need time on your own, and I know exactly how you feel. No time for yourself will eventually equal a bad mum. When the children are asleep, tell your husband you need time on your own-- and disappear into the bath. You need to let go of your children long enough to trust someone else and get your own identity back. And your husband needs to accept this.





Accept the family help, though. Don't force your husband into doing things because then you will resent him not being perfect at it, and he wil lresent doing it because ';he told you so';. Express your concern that he's missing out and that YOU need him, and work from there. It's a slow process, and some people really AREN'T comfortable with babies, but you have to get him to make a real effort-- ';I'm not comfortable'; ain't good enough.





Most important-- don't ';dump'; the kids on him when he first walks in the door at night. Although you've been working all day, and he's been working all day, if you do that you're in essence saying, ';Now that you're home from work-- go do THIS job!'; Most men won't appreciate that, and you may find him more resistant. Try a gentle transition.
ur husband has not had to parent for over 3 years because u have not allowed him to. instead it has been easier for u to excuse him and to be a walking zombie, all the while degrading the work u do 24/7. why should he be the one who can relax after his stressful job and not u? why should u continue to be his wife and sex object when he cannot be a husband and care for u? Is his role only to bring home the bacon?





u don't like urself that is for sure, thats why u can live with such behavior. if u went out tomorrow it wd make no difference coz am sure ud either go with the kids or ensure all bottles were filled and food cooked before u left him alone. even then am sure ud be gone only 10 minutes. he's an adult and he needs to bear his responsibilities or else deny him the previledges that go along with marriage.





whats wrong with having a sitter so that u can go out and take care of urself and come back a saner happier mum? u any good for ur kids stressed out?
I think you'll need to do some re training with your husband...U have obviously let him get away with it 4 a long while so it might just be that u will need 2 gradually get him 2 do extra things with the children until he does it willingly without having 2 be asked. I trained my husband from day 1 and I'm glad I did cos when the twins came along there's no way I could have done it on my own. Good luck!!
So sorry to hear that you are having to do so much on your own. I'm sure you are very tired and need help. Can you have a sitter there with your husband if you don't feel comfortable with. He may want to handle the kids if you are not there and he sees someone else (a total stranger) handling and interacting with the kids. The most important thing is that you get some rest and not feel overwhelmed even if it means your husaband has to bite the bullet and be ';uncomfortable';. Taking care of infants is hard and isolating and it is important that you feel relaxed, get a break, and feel supported. There is a reason it takes two to make a baby!

new lipstick

Educators? dont you realize that you have the most important job in the world, second to parenting?

that you open and mold minds to explore, implore and evaluate the world around a child? your job is hard and many times thankless, but a rare gem in a changing world that looks too often to an easy way instead of the cultured way. Praise to all of you who guide, provide meaning and spark interest in learning to take a higher road in life. are you one of them?Educators? dont you realize that you have the most important job in the world, second to parenting?
I'm not an educator but wow, you really do have a point.


Next time, people in my class, be rude to a teacher I'll just say


';They're going to give you the key to your future';Educators? dont you realize that you have the most important job in the world, second to parenting?
unfortunately for some educators, they are just there for the money and don't believe they should have to teach. just babysit. my daughter just finished 10th grade. one teacher brought in disney type movies and they watched 45 minutes of these movies each day. another talked of sports all period long and yet another about the benefits of joining 4 h club type organizations. each class gave a's to their students oh they did spend a few weeks on the proficiency test material but other than that the students learned nothing. my daughter's note book for these subjects were full of doodles, notes to friends and other wonderful things that didn't relate to classwork. so though i am not sure of ur question, i am glad u found a few teachers that were willing to teach something. i shudder when i think of all the money wasted in school taxes that pay for a salary for these slackers. to the ones that actually try to teach and actually get through to some of these kids. kudos. by the way the school board here knows and doesn't care.
yes 10 years in the teaching business and then i had a kid . It was more powerful to see what i did through the eyes of a teacher but also through the eyes of a parent also. Keep real, keep positive and keep being role models to this next generation who will have to think harder to get ahead.
Don't judge everyone for the failings of a few. Most teachers I know are dedicated who go the extra mile each and every day. And as for kudos; have students return years later to thank you for what you did for their successes. That is a real kudo.

What are the Rules and Reminders of Parenting?

What should every parents remember to do? Make sure their child eats their dinner? Make sure they buckle up in the car? Should you buy children designer clothing when their young or just wait until they ask for it? How do you make sure they don't get spoiled? questions and answers in that genre. Please, if you can start from when they're babies until they're young adults. Thanks!What are the Rules and Reminders of Parenting?
Kat's rules of parenting:





1. Attend to their needs, not their wants.





2. Remember that how you treat them is going to affect how they treat others.





3. Discipline is about teaching, not about punishment.





4. No toy can substitute for your time and attention.





5. Hugs and kisses every night, even though they will claim they are too big for them!





6. Honesty is the best policy.





7. Admitting you are wrong doesn't reduce your status in their lives.





8. Children are not property. They are human beings.





9. Parenting is always a process of teaching them to fly and then standing back and watching the results.





10. Putting yourself first occasionally teaches children to respect other people's needs.What are the Rules and Reminders of Parenting?
Those are awesome, and don't forget to teach please and thank you, just like hello/bye. They will become second nature and will never be seen as rude. Even two year olds learn to use them right if you keep it up!

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Use empathy and common sense. Keep it simple, teach them good, bad, right, and wrong. Don't use money and things as a substitute for your time and attention, or to assuage guilt.


If you buy your children everything, they will expect more and more, and never be happy with what they have, always wanting more.


Your kids will remember family vacations more than they will remember getting the latest cellphone, video game etc.
I THIN THAT IT MEANS THAT U HAVE 2 HAVE A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY , PATIENCE ,TRUSTWORTHY TO THEIR KIDS(HAVE TRUST IN THEIR KIDS ) AND ALOT MORE BUT RESPONSIBILITY IS THE BIGGY RULE.............................
1st thing 1st. No two children are the same. You guys will start with a blank canvas and make it what you want. As for me. I choose not to buy designer clothes for my children when they were younger. To much money and not enough ware. As for ';spoiling your child'; Its okay to buy your child things, I think the real issue comes when you not laying down the law up front and your not spanking your child when need be. I have a 10yr old and a 7yr old have I have learned that they are totally different. Wish you all the best, God Speed!
Love, love, love!There's Never too much. Patience, listen to them before speaking. Try to understand and remember what it was like for you when you were their age. And don't be afraid to be too concerned wih their whereabouts. Good luck! Just love them, the rest will follow, there's no right or wrong answer.
well the main thing is that parents just need to love their children. Discipline with love but with firmness, guide them with love and hope they make the right choices in their life. Loving your child is not spoiling, but giving into their every whim is.
the main thing to always remember is PATIENCE.....it is key to everything....other than that...of course you make sure they are buckled up and you always want them to eat their food, but honestly the clothing thing is up to the parent...if you can justify spending $100. on an outfit for a 6 month old then go for it...i however can not...so i dont...if my son has any designer labels its b/c its off the sale rack and i liked it....there isnt a set rule to help you not spoil your child....every child deserves to be a bit spoiled, just not to the point of being a brat...but as the parent you have to figure out when not to cross that line! Parenting is something a person must learn on their own...you can get all the advise in the world, but that may not help you out when it comes to your own child....it depends on the parent, child, and surroundings!

Do you find it odd that there is an abortion aftercare advertisment in the pregnany + parenting section of YA?

maybe its in the other sections too but i dont think ive seen it.Do you find it odd that there is an abortion aftercare advertisment in the pregnany + parenting section of YA?
yahoo has no soul so no...don't find it odd at all.Do you find it odd that there is an abortion aftercare advertisment in the pregnany + parenting section of YA?
No, I don't see what you would find odd. Is it the ad itself or the section it is in?





The section seems reasonable considering you have to be pregnant to have an abortion. Many of the abortion questions here end up in the pregnancy section.





And the ad itself also seems reasonable, banner ads can be a very effective means of advertising.
Why would it be odd? Abortion is related to pregnancy. It would seem appropriate to me.
Alot of people come on here asking for information on abortions so i think its a good idea advertising an important aftercare service like this on here
i dont think it is odd but i do agree with dougal we need a miscariage section.(dont think i spelt it right)
I think they should have a miscarriage section on here, and maybe a ';do you think im pregnant'; one?
yes

Parenting as a theme in To Kill A Mockingbird?

OK, so I developed a hypothesis regarding what Harper Lee is commenting about parenting in her novel:





As times change, so should the style of parenting, so that parents can teach their children about the modern world and its beliefs, so as not to perpetuate the more ancient views of their parents.





How would I go about proving it in an essay?Parenting as a theme in To Kill A Mockingbird?
You could prove this by pointing out Atticus's unique ways of raising his children compared to the rest of the adults in the town. Then talk about how the children might have grown up if they were raised by the more general adults of Maycomb.


Also, put in what the other adults have learned from Atticus. they all respect him. But also they learned from Scout. Take the time a mob came to kill Tom Robinson but Scout without even knowing persuaded them not to.


Eh?Parenting as a theme in To Kill A Mockingbird?
Lol then why did you make my answer the best answer if it was terrible? =)

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you could use the examples of the two most contrasting parents - Atticus and Bob Ewell - and give evidence that Atticus' children, Scout and Jem, grew up better than the Ewell children.


techniques:


- contrast


- emotive language / imagery to paint the picture of each family's lives


- the context in which it was written; Harper Lee knew that it was unjust treatment, but that times and values did eventually change, so the audience can see that Atticus was in the right.





hope that helps! =)

How important is your rep in the parenting/preg/n&b section?

do you prefer that people only see the useful side of you? do you question people who you think act out of the character that you think they have? what do you think that says about their parenting styles or abilities?How important is your rep in the parenting/preg/n%26amp;b section?
Having learned that no matter how carefully I phrase something, it will still manage to offend three or more people, I take things around here a lot less seriously. Plus it's more fun. Now I just say what I feel, whatever that is. If it helps someone, great.How important is your rep in the parenting/preg/n%26amp;b section?
I don't know if I have a rep. Do I?





I try to be useful or helpful most of the time, but sometimes I can be a jerk and sometimes I can be humorous. Right now, I'm having the personality of a cardboard box with a sharpie face drawn on it.





Anyway, I think my advice is pretty helpful to some people, so that makes me think my parenting style and ability isn't half bad. If anything, my kids confirm that for me. They're still alive and aren't malnourished... haha. :P





Oh, I guess I should add that I don't care about my ';rep';. I do like to be helpful, but if I have to be an *ss hole sometime, I will be and won't care.
Just like in real life, it matters to me what people think. I can't help it. I wear my heart on my sleeve everywhere I go, be it at home with my family, out with friends, or even here in my ';brain resting'; place. And sometimes, just like in real life, I like to forget I'm a ';parent'; and act retarded.





I have no idea what it says about my parenting abilities.
Not very, i've actually become a bit reckless since losing the orange tag. Nope, I only enjoy the truly unique contacts, each of whom has their quirks. Says nothing to me about their parenting abilities, we are people separate from ';mom'; or ';dad.'; At least i'd hope so
I'm not sure how bad my rep is? (Lol)


Useful side? No way, lol. I have contacts who have separate accounts for questions here and in other sections so that they don't risk being judged by their friends. I guess I'm just not one to care what others think when it comes to stuff like that. If someone is going to judge me or think less of me, they were never my friend to start with. Nothing lost. Strangers? I REALLY could care less, lol.
i was surprised how annoyed i was when someone cloned my account. i guess i don't mind so much what people think of me as long as it is really me that they're thinking of.





as for questioning people, it took me months to get over carrie's straws. ;-)





more seriously, only trolls are one-dimensional. i'd expect that the rest of us all have sides that don't necessarily show up on here.








*i do totally have your back. but while i've got it, i'm allowed to tickle it occasionally, right?
I don't think it says anything about their parenting ability's. I recently realized that I don't want to be know as a jerk however. I didn't think I cared but I guess I do. I do wish there was more joking and less bashing.
i don't care what y'all think about me! lol!





i'm just here to help whenever i can, and be a semi-jerk whenever i please. haha!


really, wanting some good, clean fun in life doesn't mean you're a bad parent. you're just being a human without a stick up your bum. :)
Thanks, Des. And here, I thought you totally had my back;-)








My rep everywhere matters to me to the extent that people are able to believe me when I say I am a Christian....that's really all I care about.
I have my days, but when it boils down to it I can dole out some pretty good advice and insightful answers. As a whole I think many people see me as a useful user, but some other people I could care less.
I try to have a good rep and I want people to think I am helpful..I try to help out when I can and when I know the answer..
Like I give a **** lol...I do like being helpful when I'm in the mood but thats it honestly. I have a life ...people who care about their reps here dont have a life.
*I just mooned you all* I'm serious when I wanna be, the people who count know the real me.
Idc. This is nothing but some stupid site on the internet.
Do you really think I care what people think??





REALLY?
I lined my whole face on the parenting section a few days ago...what do YOU think???!!!!

Parenting tips for teaching a child perseverance?

We have a 9 year old son that gives up too easily when he meets an obstacle. This doesn't seem like teaching a child to multiply or spell. How do you teach character?Parenting tips for teaching a child perseverance?
Help him find something that really motivates him, then get him started on a long project. He may be bored with the thing he is giving up on.Parenting tips for teaching a child perseverance?
tell him the story about the turtle and the bunny.
The textbook answer would be to teach by example. But I know that does not always work. I have a 5 year old that does not have motivation to do what does not come easy. It's tough. I guess sometimes you just have to let them learn the hard way.
I agree with teaching by example. You may have to come up with a few problems for yourself to solve in front of him. Also plan some projects you can do together that shows that hard work pays off. maybe plant a garden where you have to water, weed, etc before you get the reward.
tell him a story.


about how u kept trying.


and it paid off.

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What will i supply to my lovebird (parenting)?

1. What do you mean by (egg food) as said it is the most important to supply the lovebird to feed their young.





2. what is the perfect diet for lovebirds? what food for morning and what for evening?What will i supply to my lovebird (parenting)?
You can get eggfood at a pet shop. Replace it at the end of each day. Or you could boil an egg and mash it up for them, its just as good. It provides protein for the growing chicks.





The perfect diet for them is -





Harrison's organic bird pellets (never get coloured pellets, Harrison's are the only ones I would trust)





Fresh sprouts every day. (you can buy fresh sprouts at supermarkets or sprout them youself.)





Fresh greens, fruit and veg (NEVER feed avocado though, it poisons them, potato is not very safe either)





Cuttlefish bone (very important especially when breeding! If the hen dosn't get enough calcium to make the eggshell, her body will leach the calcium from her own bones to make the eggs. Also, if she dosn't get enough calcium, the eggs could be softshelled.)





Seeds arent nessecary with this diet. No bird can live on entirly seeds, they will die early and/or cost you heaps in vet bills.





This is the perfect diet whether they are breeding or not. Some birds are stubborn when trying new foods, but PERSIST and they will soon switch to the a healthy diet.





This is the best diet for your birds.





Good luck.What will i supply to my lovebird (parenting)?
All of my birds are on Zupreem pellets and a small amount of seed. We dust the food with a vitamin called ';Prime';. The egg food comes in a little plastic container and simply looks like little bits of dehydrated egg. It's made by Higgins and has a purple/mustard yellow label with a purple cap and says snack attack Pro-Teen 25 nestling egg food on the label.An 8oz jar will last a pretty good while and costs around $3 to $4.


As for the seed part of the food, use eggcite. It again has the extra nutrients in it and is better than the plain seed. We use the same foods for morning and evening. Of course give them fresh fruits and veggies daily. Boiled eggs are great for them and even small amounts of pasta, potatoes, meats such as chicken etc.


Just be sure and remove any that's left once they're done eating the fresh foods. They can spoil quickly and make the bird sick.


If you want to go a step further, you can make birdie muffins for them.





This is a basically a cornbread recipe, which many birds find irresitable, with a few modifications. You can make it from scratch or you can take the easy approach by just preparing a box of Jiffy brand cornbread according to the package directions.


For added calcium, wash the egg really well, then add the egg shell, FINELY crushed, to the batter. [This means you won't be able to share though!]


For added vitamin A, add a small jar of sweet potato or carrot baby food [check the labels of different brands and compare!] or just add about 1/2 cup mashed yams.


You can also add finely chopped veggies to the batter, or whatever you like! Broccoli florets and grated carrots work well. You can also add raisins, nuts...get creative! Pour mixture into paper cupcake holders in a cupcake pan. Fill them only 1/2 way. Cook according to recipe instructions.


Once thoroughly cooled, put them in a freezer bag and freeze. Thaw one as needed. Birds seem to prefer them a tad bit warm so we microwave one muffin for a few seconds once thawed and split with all the birds daily.


Yes, they're spoiled!
you can find egg food at petsmart. i boil eggs for my lovies and feed it to them in a seperate dish. also, i will mash up a banana and mix it with seeds. give them lots of fresh veggies. that's all healthy for them

What will i supply to my lovebird (parenting)?

1. What do you mean by (egg food) as said it is the most important to supply the lovebird to feed their young.





2. what is the perfect diet for lovebirds? what food for morning and what for evening?What will i supply to my lovebird (parenting)?
You can get eggfood at a pet shop. Replace it at the end of each day. Or you could boil an egg and mash it up for them, its just as good. It provides protein for the growing chicks.





The perfect diet for them is -





Harrison's organic bird pellets (never get coloured pellets, Harrison's are the only ones I would trust)





Fresh sprouts every day. (you can buy fresh sprouts at supermarkets or sprout them youself.)





Fresh greens, fruit and veg (NEVER feed avocado though, it poisons them, potato is not very safe either)





Cuttlefish bone (very important especially when breeding! If the hen dosn't get enough calcium to make the eggshell, her body will leach the calcium from her own bones to make the eggs. Also, if she dosn't get enough calcium, the eggs could be softshelled.)





Seeds arent nessecary with this diet. No bird can live on entirly seeds, they will die early and/or cost you heaps in vet bills.





This is the perfect diet whether they are breeding or not. Some birds are stubborn when trying new foods, but PERSIST and they will soon switch to the a healthy diet.





This is the best diet for your birds.





Good luck.What will i supply to my lovebird (parenting)?
All of my birds are on Zupreem pellets and a small amount of seed. We dust the food with a vitamin called ';Prime';. The egg food comes in a little plastic container and simply looks like little bits of dehydrated egg. It's made by Higgins and has a purple/mustard yellow label with a purple cap and says snack attack Pro-Teen 25 nestling egg food on the label.An 8oz jar will last a pretty good while and costs around $3 to $4.


As for the seed part of the food, use eggcite. It again has the extra nutrients in it and is better than the plain seed. We use the same foods for morning and evening. Of course give them fresh fruits and veggies daily. Boiled eggs are great for them and even small amounts of pasta, potatoes, meats such as chicken etc.


Just be sure and remove any that's left once they're done eating the fresh foods. They can spoil quickly and make the bird sick.


If you want to go a step further, you can make birdie muffins for them.





This is a basically a cornbread recipe, which many birds find irresitable, with a few modifications. You can make it from scratch or you can take the easy approach by just preparing a box of Jiffy brand cornbread according to the package directions.


For added calcium, wash the egg really well, then add the egg shell, FINELY crushed, to the batter. [This means you won't be able to share though!]


For added vitamin A, add a small jar of sweet potato or carrot baby food [check the labels of different brands and compare!] or just add about 1/2 cup mashed yams.


You can also add finely chopped veggies to the batter, or whatever you like! Broccoli florets and grated carrots work well. You can also add raisins, nuts...get creative! Pour mixture into paper cupcake holders in a cupcake pan. Fill them only 1/2 way. Cook according to recipe instructions.


Once thoroughly cooled, put them in a freezer bag and freeze. Thaw one as needed. Birds seem to prefer them a tad bit warm so we microwave one muffin for a few seconds once thawed and split with all the birds daily.


Yes, they're spoiled!
you can find egg food at petsmart. i boil eggs for my lovies and feed it to them in a seperate dish. also, i will mash up a banana and mix it with seeds. give them lots of fresh veggies. that's all healthy for them

Is there anyone out there that is parenting a child with RAD?

RAD is Reactive Attachment Disorder. I'm at my wits end and need to know if there are others dealing with the same issues. Thanks!Is there anyone out there that is parenting a child with RAD?
My oldest son had RAD. I can say, at least from my experience, they will out grow it. I know you want to pull your hair out, and can feel so guilty when he starts his 'fits'. But just breath. I don't remember doing anything special, it just seemed to me like one day he had calmed down somewhat. He was about 3 1/2. By the time he was 5 it seemed to be gone.


I will say that different children cope differently and will outgrow it at different ages.





http://www.radkid.org/


http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_f鈥?/a>

Are there any Teen Pregnancy books about parenting and things?

I am 17 yrs old and am pregnant. I am trying to educate myself about what I am going expect and things.I have read things online that I need to know.I am also looking into taking classes as well but I want a book to read on about what I should expect and maybe even one based on teens possibly.





Thanks.Are there any Teen Pregnancy books about parenting and things?
I HATE the book What To Expect When You're Expecting... It made me feel that everything I did was wrong and seemed more like a scare tactic rather than information. And it's very much outdated. I would not recommend it.





Instead, try Mayo Clinic's Guide To A Healthy Pregnancy. It's what I'm reading now. It's very factual and will tell you what is going on with your body every step of the way. And also what to expect when the baby comes. It tells your all your options about different things, but doesn't preach.





Check out your local library for other books about pregnancy and parenting. Also, talk to any adult you trust for advice!





Congrats and good luck!!!Are there any Teen Pregnancy books about parenting and things?
I'm in your position sweet heart. 18, and 21 weeks pregnant with twin girls. I have read the what to expect when your expecting. I did not like it so much. I was looking for other books like you for teens, and could not find much. I found that I wrote down questions to what I wanted to educate myself on, and asked it on here. People are so generous to help you , and most people give really good advice. Except those who think Teen pregnancy is the most horrible thing in the world, which makes me mad when I recieve answers from people like that. But, I get over it. I also went down to the WIC building and got a lot of magazines for pregnant teens, and they are very helpful. You can email me if you want. jess4039@yahoo.com
Try your local Library I did that when I found out I was prego just to ready up on some thigns about parenting and how raising a child starts when they are in the belly..etc
try the girlfriend's guide to pregnancy.
http://www.itsaboutlove.com
actually yes if you have a computer you can look up websites about young pregnant teens,or go to your local library in look up books thats what i did
Go to google and put in Teen Pregnancy Literature.
if your from the uk your mid wife will give you a book called ready steady baby that tells you everything even how to change a nappy and steralise a bottle
Just get that book what to expect when your expecting its like ten dollars at walmart it helps answer all my questions.

Looking for a teether that was advertised in a recent issue of one of the parenting/baby magazines?

This particular teether was listed in a baby magazine of which I can not find my issue. It was in an issue between August and October '06. The Item resembles a rubber ball with little faces on them each is a differnt color and each has a different type of nobby characteristic. They also have cute names for each. The material is not a hard rubber. Wish I could be a better describer.Looking for a teether that was advertised in a recent issue of one of the parenting/baby magazines?
is this what you mean ..





http://www.greatbabyproducts.com/Twisty_鈥?/a>





By the way .. have you considered dried apple rings( from health shops) they work great as teethers, the kids like them, they are healthy and nutritious.. and natural.. anyway thought I'd suggest an alternative ...Hope you find what your looking for thoughLooking for a teether that was advertised in a recent issue of one of the parenting/baby magazines?
look on ebay
I would go onto www.mothering.com and check in there forums. It is a great website for all parenting questions, even for dads!





I'm sorry I don't know which one it is off of that description, if you remember the magazine name I can find out for you though. Good luck!

How do we make parents do a better job parenting?

Today I've seen two headlines that make me sick.





Preteen Sisters Accused in Kidnapping





In Enid, oklahoma, 2 young girls 10 and 12 took a 1 yr old baby out of a neighbors house while the mother slept. They left a randsom note saying :





';If you want to see your son again then you won't call police and report him missing and you will leave $200,000 on the sofa tonight and we will return your son back safe,'; the note read, according to police.





The note was signed, ';the kidnappers.';





The kids were arrested and taken to a community intervention center for children.





Next headline was: Girl, 11, Charged With DUI After Chase





ORANGE BEACH, Ala. - Police who chased a car for miles along a highway at speeds up to 100 mph said the driver was drunk, hardly a rarity in this resort town. But there was more: When they looked inside the flipped vehicle with guns drawn, they found an 11-year-old girl at the wheel.


Cops-her blood alcohol lvl was above 2.0(the legal limit for minors)How do we make parents do a better job parenting?
Well, the problem is, you can't make someone do anything. What you can do is make help more readily available. For example, lots of times I read people advising that someone should take parenting classes. Great advice, but if that was something that I needed or wanted, I would have no idea where to go to get that. If ob/gyns, pediatricians, and the schools could work more to get good information out there, maybe parents who were completely clueless, (and who isn't somedays) would be better equipped to do what they need to do.


Of course, this will not help those that are not clueless, but careless. As much as we hate to admit it, there are some parents who really don't want to do anything with their kids. They're just counting the days until their kids are 18 and they can kick them out of the house.How do we make parents do a better job parenting?
thank god u posted this i saw the same headlines and thought oh my god what kind of world do we live in. Yes i agree that those girls thar kidnapped the baby saw it on tv. this means that parents/gaurdians need to step in and watch there children. Okay now about the drunk driving ELEVEN year old girl i was like WTF.....these ppl are so messed up!!





i was sickened from hearing all this lets just hope no one got hurt during all these events.....
It would help to require anyone planning on having kids to take a class and have to pass a test. Why is it so difficult to get a driver's license or passport in this country, but having kids requires absolutely nothing. We should make it illegal to give birth without a passing grade.
It's too late. The pendulum has swung too far as it often does. The baby boomers and early gen-x'ers who grew up respecting authority and fearing the punishment a bad report card brings have decided that weak to no parenting is the way to raise kids.


Though I didn't like getting' my butt whipped I do think there is need for discipline. Unfortunately for my kids my wife is as passive a parent as there ever was and for the sake of my kids having two parents we ultimately parent her way which is very weak.





These generations who also make up the boards of education have taken their passive approach to the school system and have taken discipline out of the school and replaced it with political correctness, bureaucracy and red tape.
The parents of these children most likely had little discipline and control over then from the beggining. I have said it a hundred times on here, it is not our jobs as parents to be our childs best friend, it is our job to be their leader, and guide them to teach them right a wrong. Then when they become adults they will want to be our friends, because they have respect for us for having some responsibility. My uncle tried the friend method with his three children, after him and his wife got a devorce, telling my father that he could trust his 15 year old daughter to stay out all hours of the night, because she told him everything. Now his 17 year old daughter has been in jail twice, stollen 3 cars, done cocaine, smoke weed, cigarettes, and gotten more drunk than I think most 21 year olds do on their 21st birthday. She also has dropped out of school and has a 4 month old baby. His younger son has been to jail for arsen and sells weed for a living, and his youngest daughter is usually left at home to babysit her older siblings while her dad is dating. So it goes beyond just discipline, all you really have to do is pay attention to your children. If they seem intoxicated do something. Don't allow them to stay out for days at a time. Insure they are going to school and staying there. Children are supposed to have restrictions. For their safety, and our sanity. So yes, it is the parents fault in the end for these three girls you have mentioned, because you have to ask, where was their parent?
they blamed the James Bulger murder on tv/videos and then on their parents - some kids are just bad and messed up





maybe it is all down to bad parenting but i remember seeing stuff on tv and i never felt the need to copy it

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