Do you feel that you learned more from parenting books or more from trial and error? Or both?

Personally, I was a clueless first time mother who learned most of my parenting from the many books I read. I then applied that information into our daily lives. When something did not work, I tried something else. I found the information learned from ';the experts'; most benificial to me and my children. I could never had been as creative without the information learned.Do you feel that you learned more from parenting books or more from trial and error? Or both?
I'm more of a trial and error type person. I did believe all the parenting books when I was pregnant with my first and then found that they were not as useful as I once believed once my daughter was born (especially once she was a toddler!). I don't find that the ';experts'; are the most beneficial for my family as their views are highly biased and are most all theoretical. I go by what is effective for my children and my family, as should all families do. Books are good resources at times, but not always the best solution for parenting your child(ren).





I tend to gather my information from other parents who have been in my shoes and sometimes the advice is good, sometimes it's not. I give it some thought and if it works with our family I apply it. I go with my intuition and mother's instinct and 99.9% of the time I am right on with it.





Interesting question though :) I'll give you a star!Do you feel that you learned more from parenting books or more from trial and error? Or both?
Parenting books are a guideline. If your parents raised you well, you very likely won't even bother reading those parenting books unless you have a situation that they never dealt with (such as a disabled child or a child with depression). If your parents did not have a great home life for you, it's a good idea to read parenting books to break the cycle and learn different ways to handle things. However, there are plenty of pop psychologists out there that may have bona fide degrees but have never raised children. Dr. Spock was one of them (his child was raised by his wife). The methods of others could be considered child abuse (Ferber Method). Some things might be great, but don't feel obligated to apply everything if it doesn't work for your family (for instance Attachment Parenting).





I've learned a variety of parenting methods in my own extended family as we have sort of an international crew (6 different countries). Some I would apply, some wouldn't work.
I'm a big reader and love to be prepared so I have read many parenting books. However, what I have learned is that my style of parenting isn't necessarily by the book. So, I read the books, get ideas and learn about different perspectives. I apply what I know not by memorizing a book but by the way I take the information and use it according to my style. No child fits any one way and no one is necessarily wrong - just different. I have found that knowing more than one perspective helps me be more tolerant of other parenting styles.... even those I do not agree with.





BTW, my favorite all time parenting book is How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen so Your Kids Will Talk. Excellent people skills book!
In almost every parenting dilemma I have faced so far, it was the answers that I found in books that actually worked. While it's true that nothing works for everyone, children are actually more alike than they are different. And not every expert advocates the same thing. I have found, though, that the experts who are also parents give the best advice.
I would never raise my children based on what someone else suggests and / or writes.





Children are not ';universal';. What works for one doesn't always work for the next.





Also, we don't produce ';cookie cutter'; children as all the ';experts'; and their books suggest.





If you MUST read a book about parenting, I suggest the Bible. Nothing else will teach you more about the love of a parent than it.





Love your child, teach them right from wrong, teach them about respect, safety, compassion and morals ... everything else comes naturally from God's gift of maternal instict.
My wife and I have a 7-month-old and we consulted a number of different books for advice. I think they were all great for the pregnancy information, but not so much when the baby actually came. You bring up a good point though about the books generating more creativity.





For me and my wife, trial and error combined with gut instinct have worked the best.
I would say both! Each child is different, and the books vary tremendously from each other as well. I did a lot of reading, and tried the suggestions that made sense to me. Sometimes, I consolidated the ideas I got from TWO books. This was very helpful in regard to things like weaning off the bottle, and potty training.
I enjoy different parenting books, and don't have anything against them. All that being said, parenting books are like ';operation manuals'; the only problem is - nobody knows the proper model number. Every child is different, so when it comes to ';parenting'; you must choose your own path.
I think both. i was a clueless first time mother as well. Books definately helped. And trial and error through the techniques taught in them. As the kids have gotten older I have slowly been steering away from books. There are simply too many ';experts'; writing books that contradict each other now days.
I read the books but didnt believe a lot of what I read til I saw it myself . I think a mixture of the books and real life experience was what taught me. I think next time will be a lot easier as I know a lot of what to expect. The first time was a bit scary!
Trial and error. At one point I wanted to throw the books out the window. For me they were good for reference and that is about it. I was pretty clueless too, and they did NOT help.
I think I learned more from trial and error. I found several parenting books to be useful but not always effective since each child is different.
I use the books, then use the trail and error technique. The books help, but are not always the case.
trial and error.
both