Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?

My husband seems to think he can stick me with our daughter all night until 1 AM while he plays games with our friend. Other times also he is expected to watch her and, mind you, there is a difference between watching and participating in his child's, life. Will I always be the only one who works, and participates in our daughter's life? We are waiting for counseling which is not until December. What do I do to keep from going crazy? I gave up nagging him. I have done everything I can to get him to participate.Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?
lol my hubby is the exact same...... it gives me the sh*ts sometimes but allwell .....Are all men unmotivated to do housework and parenting?
sometimes men need to see what they are going to lose if they don't change..i took my then 3 month old baby overseas,left him a letter saying it's up to him whether I should still come back...luckily he realized his short comings. good luck.
You know what? Next time he wants to do something with you (watch a movie, buy groceries, go bowling, whatever), sit there with your arms folded across your chest and stare off into the distance disinterestedly. If he says anything to you, mumble something incoherent back to him. If he asks you a question, shrug and say 'I dunno';. Then when he says something about how you're 'no fun', come back with a one-liner like 'Your daughter feels the same way'.





He might get the picture then.
He has no idea how to engage your daughter to be active in her life.





Also, just to prep you a bit - when you do get to counseling, be prepared for things you need to work on as well.


You have made a transition from 100% girlfriend to 100% mother and that ends marriages.





You can do something they way you want it done or accept the way someone else does it.





If you are ';stuck'; with your daughter then you're not all that engaged in her life either.





It's a tough transition for both of you - hang in there.


The first year (maybe two years) with the first child is the hardest.
I'm a single parent raising an 8yr old son i don't need a wife in my life.
unfortunately, sometimes it just can't be helped. There are lots of things you can tell him, explain to him how important it is to be a FATHER rather than a babysitter but if he won't accept what you say, he won't. Men tend to be less involved in very young children anyway because kids aren't as exciting as whatever else they could be doing. Men tend to think that kids will just naturally love and respect and adore them and to some degree its true but how surprised they get when their adoring little toddler turns into a sullen pre-teen who could care less about him.





On the other hand, you have to be careful; there are different parenting styles and men are allowed to spend their time with their children as they see fit. You can't be arbiter of what's the ';correct'; way to interact with the children. YOu can give suggestions and guidance but sometimes they'll just do things differently.





I really thought it was wrong of my husband to always ';watch'; the baby by sitting her on his lap while he played on the computer. But now she enjoys her daddy-time because he puts sesame street videos on one window for her while reading the internet for himself. However, I have on occasion insisted that he go down to her room and spend time letting her do what SHE wants; balance is important and I did tell him that it was unfair to expect her to ALWAYS do what he wanted. Even a toddler has the right to choose her own entertainment occasionally.





Good luck.
Evidentally someone was not ready to become a responsible human being. Let alone a husband or a father.





No. Not all men are like this. The man I married is a great husband and father. Meaning he helps me, helps around the house and with the kids. He's very hands on and very good at what he does.





Sure he doesn't get up with our newborn daughter but he works. So I get up with her. I can sleep during the day, he can't.





You married a boy. Hopefully he decides to become a man soon.
Why do women allow this behavior from men? Didn't he help make that child? So therefore he should help take care of her. Hide all that immature **** from him, and demand a change....as MEN who have children become MEN and FATHERS.
take all the power adapters for the video games and hide them. then cancel the cable and watch him divorce you or participate in raising that child(i wouldn't actually)
No, it depends on the man in your life. I have always be involved with both of my kids from the start and cannot understand why he would not. Maybe he is stressed, no ready for family life. Instead of nagging him just let it go and let him come to his senses. If he choose not to participate it is his loss and he will regret it one day. There is extra load on you, so maybe ask family to help out if you can. If he does not want to do it himself your daughter will also notice and nothing is resolved.
Your husband is only doing what he has been allowed to get away with doing. The only men who act unmotivated to do housework or parenting or men who have had mothers and wives who cater to them and tolerate their laziness and b.s.
think things thru, maybe waiting for therapy is not an option.....
I understand your frustration, as it also frustrates me as a man to hear about someone blessed with a beautiful child but doesn't want to be a partner in her upbringing. I think counseling really is the best thing you can do. Maybe a counselor has ways to explain the importance of a father in a child's life, and also the importance of supporting his partner. A counselor may also be able to help you with ways to encourage him to get involved. It's so good of you to want the best for your child, and I hope your husband will realize not only how fortunate he is that you care so much, but also how important his role is as a parent. Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
I have no choice im a single dad but house work sucks . Its just not in us . If you seen the clutter around my house you would say yes men are not capable of keeping a clean house . Its just not in us ,